Is alcohol compulsory on a dinner date?

When browsing online dating profiles and talking to people, it seems almost mandatory that everyone loves "enjoying a glass of wine", to the point that when I dinner date I always presume they would want to drink, and they always say yes. Personally I'm not a big fan of alcohol; I drink on work occasions or other social gatherings where it is expected, but in general I just find it really annoying since it kind of just handicaps my senses. Sure you get a bit more social, but only a tidbit and the after effects just aren't worth it to me (I have no problems being social without drinking).

However, not enjoying alcohol seems like a taboo in western culture, so much that even mentioning you don't like it is almost a social stigma. I would love to date without drinking because anything edible, sensual or sexual is just dulled down to nothing for me - I want to feel, taste and hear without that veil of wine.

To be clear, I'm not talking about a lot of alcohol, but even one glass is enough to noticeably dull my sense of taste and physical sensation, and that just sucks (need quite a lot more before my head start spinning, though ;)). Am I alone here? If you were to date someone and they didn't want to drink, how would you react?

  • Yes: When we go for dinner we should both be drinking
    15% (4)5% (1)11% (5)Vote
  • Yes: When we go for dinner I want to drink but I don't mind the other abstaining
    22% (6)21% (4)22% (10)Vote
  • No: When we go for dinner no-one should drink alcohol
    22% (6)16% (3)20% (9)Vote
  • No: When we go for dinner I don't drink, but I don't care if the other one does
    41% (11)58% (11)47% (22)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i personally wouldn't want to drink on a first date. i'd want the first impression to be not effected by alcohol or anything like that. i think that's very important.. if i get a little tipsy on a first date i'd probably be having a great time, but i wouldn't be able to tell if it was the alcohol making me have a good time, or just legitimately having a good time. i think thats sort of silly. i wouldn't mind if my date drank. i would sort of prefer not, but i'm not going to put up a fight about it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally I only drink... sigh... it's more so a requirement than anything really but I suppose it is socially expected to drink or else you are not gonna get very far connection wise.

    My dad hated drinking , but he has to because everyone in the business circle does.

    God some days I wish there are more clean life-stylers out there.

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What Girls Said 10

  • No, it's not compulsory at all. Even if the other person is drinking, that doesn't mean you have to. No one is obligated to drink alcohol if they don't want to. Personally, I don't drink, it's just not my thing but I don't care if other people do and I wouldn't care if a dinner date drank alcohol, I simply would not drink myself. It's okay if you don't want to drink when you go on dates.

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  • lol i couldn't care less about having alcohol on dates. if it happens, cool. if not, who cares? i usually order OJ anyway :P

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  • Personally, on a first date, unless I really know the guy, I probably won't drink. I also won't drink if he isn't drinking more often than not, unless for some reason I really want to.

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  • When I was in school, having a drink was the norm. It too annoyed me that social events revolved around alcohol. and the drinking habit carries into the industry.

    Since I have low alcohol tolerance, I wouldn't have a problem dating someone who doesn't drink.

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  • Prosecco is my favourite thing in the world but I don't care if you don't want to drink with me.

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  • Sometimes I drink and sometimes I don't, but I'm like you in preferring to have my senses at 100%, especially if I'm getting to know someone new, or if I'm in a relationship serious enough that there will be sex for dessert!

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  • Is there an option for "I don't care either way"? I just order whatever I feel like at the moment, alcohol certainly isn't a necessity.

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  • I don't drink at all, so I expect no alcohol. 😊

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  • I don't think it's compulsory. However, I do enjoy social drinking and there is frequently drinking at my family events. I wouldn't enjoy someone who is scornful of drinking in moderation, personally. But it doesn't matter what we do on our first dates getting to know each other.

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    • Also, keep in mind that a lot of thought and craft goes into producing better end alcoholic beverages. There are tastes and processes to compare and enjoy as with recipes. So it's not necessarily all about "the buzz" and suggesting it is so may make you come across in a different way than it seems you mean to.

  • On online dating sites people usually write things they think the opposite sex want to hear to attract as many as possible.

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What Guys Said 12

  • I would not drink at all. I would prefer she didn't drink. But if she drinks just one glass it's OK. But if she did, I'd be watching in the future to make sure it wasn't too much of a habit.

    If I'm just getting to know someone I want to have my head on straight. In a way I think it's just polite to not drink. I think it's showing more respect for the other person that way. It's subtle, but drinking seems almost like it sends a message that you don't care enough about the person as you could.

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  • I think alcohol tastes awful (can't wait to be forced to go for my first legal drink in 3 days... woo), but its up to the person on what they want to do.

    The last thing they should be worried about is if their date enjoys drinking or not. If they do, then I personally think they don't have their priorities straight. It wouldn't affect how I think of them at all... except when I kiss them because, well, that taste (Not in a deal breaker way though).

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  • A beer off the tap with a meal out a restaurant... is heavenly! :-D

    But, I don't pressure the other person with me to drink (unless you consider me offering one as "pressuring").

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  • It's really great to see many other guys that don't drink or don't think much. Western culture makes it seem like everyone has to like drinking, but that really isn't the case.

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  • Not a fan of drinking it turns into an every day thing after a while. I dont drink but Know its a bad habit

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  • I personally do not drink nor plan on drinking. I MIGHT drink something for special occasions, like my birthday or New Year's Eve/Day, but that would be pushing it.

    As for my date, I wouldn't care if she drank. She just better not get shitfaced.

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  • Maybe it's cos your 32. Women in their 30s and up seem obsessed with wine on all social media. It's a weird drinking culture. I don't think many people would find it a deal breaker if you didn't want to indulge in a drink though but I'd probably avoid having a big conversation about not drinking and just order a non alcoholic drink. If they say something just say something more casual about it like you don't really feel like it.

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  • I'm not a drinker, but if the other wants to partake in liquor then by all means they should as long as I drive

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  • I don't drink. I don't care if she does.

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  • I voted D), just don't drink too much and don't expect me to drink.

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  • I don't drink

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  • I have to admit, if she does not get a drink or does not drink afterwards, I will lose a lot of interest... I enjoy drink or two occasionally and want someone to share that with. And I hardly even drink myself!

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