What is a guys definition of "good times not long times"?

I recently reconnected with a guy I was starting to date over a year ago. We only managed a few dates as he was studying for his masters at the time so we never took it any further.

We have since met up for a date and realise the attraction is still there for both of us.. But... He has made it clear that he is attracted to me and wants to intimate, but also states that he is looking for "good times, not long times ".

He messages me everyday to check in how I am and obviously we talk about Sex and also things going on in our lives /during the day etc. which confuses me as he obviously wants me on his mind a lot.

I feel like he checks in with me and appears to generally care about me as a person equally as much as talking about having Sex with me but I'm am agonising over whether to do it given his outlook.

I admire his honesty up front but it puts me off that he may not be open to the idea of wanting more that getting it on in he bedroom.

Women are always bombarded with the reality that guys don't want to think about relationships before going into Sex as it scares them off but I like him and confused what to do. I'm undecided whether I want to have a relationship with him specifically but I don't like the idea of him closing off the thought of the idea before anything has happened!

Any thoughts/comments welcome?

  • Just sleep with him and hope it goes somewhere
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  • Face reality, he just wants Sex nothing more and move on?
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Updates:
Well I asked if he'd wait a little longer until I was sure about sleeping with him and he agreed to wait a while. Feels less pressured now and I can see if he actually like me for who I am.

If he disappears then so be it, that way I'll know if he was just using me for sex

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What Guys Said 2

  • "What is a guys definition of "good times not long times"?"

    ^then this guy means he's not into long-term (judgin by his "not long times" line)

    "We have since met up for a date and realise the attraction is still there for both of us.. But... He has made it clear that he is attracted to me and wants to intimate, but also states that he is looking for "good times, not long times ". "

    ^so he was clear from da start he doesn't want anything long-term

    "He messages me everyday to check in how I am and obviously we talk about Sex and also things going on in our lives /during the day etc. which confuses me as he obviously wants me on his mind a lot. "

    ^messagin u doesn't mean he wants to date u anyway... possibly reason he does is he cares about u from a friendly pov as well

    "I feel like he checks in with me and appears to generally care about me as a person equally as much as talking about having Sex with me but I'm am agonising over whether to do it given his outlook. "

    ^u could be fuck buddies possibly... havin sex together... yet care for each other as friends.

    "I admire his honesty up front but it puts me off that he may not be open to the idea of wanting more that getting it on in he bedroom. "

    ^he was honest from da start as i told u (not into long-term relationships)

    "Women are always bombarded with the reality that guys don't want to think about relationships before going into Sex as it scares them off but I like him and confused what to do. I'm undecided whether I want to have a relationship with him specifically but I don't like the idea of him closing off the thought of the idea before anything has happened! "

    ^since he's a honest guy as it seems if he wants relationship i believe he'll mention it himself. and nope not all guys think about relationships after havin sex and only.

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  • He doesn't want more and he told you that upfront

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