I like a guy, he postponed our date and I have two other guys asking me out. Help?

Okay, this isn't a case of choosing one of the guys. The guy I arranged a date with is the guy I really like and I have no romantic interest in the other two, mainly because my eyes are set on that one guy. The guy I like postponed our date which was meant to be happening right now but he had work commitments. He told me that we will meet and that he looks forward to it but we've been talking for two weeks and I can't wait around forever until he finds time in his schedule.

I have two other guys asking me to the cinema, to hot tubs, for drives etc almost every single day and I've been constantly refusing because I don't want to lead them on and I like this other guy. I wouldn't say I'm seeing the guy and I don't think he would say that either because we haven't met. If we were, I would tell the other guys I was seeing someone but I would feel wrong lying.

I don't know how to tell the guys I'm not interested... I've had guys turn it around on me saying I was conceited and assumed they like me, which always turns me away from saying it now. One of the guys, I really like as a person, he's intelligent and so kind. I don't know what to do in the situation, not even my parents know! My mum advised me not to wait around too long for the guy I like too. :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're a single girl, you're SUPPOSED to play the field, so go out with those other guys asking you out!

    A common mistake many younger people make in dating, is making the person they like the most, the priority.

    Do what more seasoned adults do... make the person who clearly likes you the most, the priority! These other guys seriously like you and are making it known, so u should make them the priority than the one that "you want but can't have" at this moment!

    PLAY. THE. FIELD. ;-)

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    • But, I'm very much a commitment person! I would feel bad on the guy I like, but then again, he probably wouldn't hesitate if he had the opportunity. :( But that makes me depressed and think he's not worth it, or any guy for that matter. I don't want anything more with the other two guys though. It would just lead them on.

    • Why are u acting like you're in a relationship with this dude? You're not! It's not fair to yourself to emotionally lock yourself out to guys who DO want to get to know you, over some guys who seems apathetic about you!

      #JustSayin

    • I feel it unfair on the other guys and I do hope to have a relationship with the guy. We get along so well and he's so lovely.

What Guys Said 3

  • It sounds like you don't like those other two guys beyond friendship. So you shouldn't lead them on.

    Sounds like this special guy is not making any free time for you, in which case, he might not be sufficiently interested, and you shouldn't let him lead you on. The problem if you like someone, is you tend to be too permissive with behaviour you wouldn't otherwise tolerate (one's dignity goes south). Time to make it known you shan't wait for ever?

    Best option potentially, none of them?

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    • Yeah, I am aware of that. :\ I do tell him off for keeping me waiting and he says he's not doing it intentionally. I never text him twice, so even if I have to wait a day for him to text me, I will, so I don't look desperate and to see if he's willing and remembering to text me. I was going to say that I won't wait around forever but I don't know, I thought he may take that badly and feel rushed.

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    • *hugs*. I know loneliness by the way. I know like few know. Are you lonely?

    • I rarely feel lonely tbh. I'm happy with my own company a lot of the time. Most people hurt/disappoint me so I'm happier avoiding it.

  • I think you can hang out with the other 2 guys. I think the issue would be ig they would try and make a move on you like kiss you or touch you etc. It's like if I hung out with 2 girls as friends I wouldn't try to make a move on them if we gotten past that point of just being platonic friends. Just don't let your guy friend's pay for things for you. Go dutch on everything.

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    • I always pay my way but don't you think it's bad because one of the guy reeaally likes me? I kissed him when I was drunk which I regret because it's given him hope, but I felt pressured to kiss him. He put me in an awkward position. So if we met, he may try it again. I slept with the other about two years ago, but he got a girlfriend and disappeared for two years. I thought he liked me. He recently contacted me apologising and now he's inviting me out and messaging me constantly, complimenting me on my photos so it's quite obvious. But it's not set in stone with the current guy I like and I can't just keep refusing forever.

    • You make very good points. If you kiss a guy your right it does give him hope and he may kiss you again. He also may not kiss you again. I think it depends if it's a romamtic moment or situation. Just try to avoid those with both guys. The second guy he probably thinks he can sleep with you again. Your in control of both situations. You can always tell a guy to stop anything if your not comfortable. I still don't see no problem with you hanging with these two guys. Unless things got serious with the guy you like. I think it puts you in a very touvh spot.

  • Casual or first dates doesn't mean jack shit. It's simply testing the field or simply just hanging out. I always consider it a serious relationship when the moment arises to question the significant other whether to be a couple or not.

    Or after the first few dates and you both feel that spark (not 1 but both feels the same way) then its good to hold off for him.

    If not, then its fair game.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Stay Friends with Everyone for Now, @Hanah591. You are Not hooked at the His Hip with Anyone here, dear, no need to be Detailed.
    No one has slapped a ring nor a title on your hand, so go out with who you want, who has the most time and will pay you some mind.
    Let everyone know you are friends and enjoy hanging, and if the sore subject is Broached and Approached, be an Honest John in Explaining that you are Not into a Real Relationship at the time, you want to take things slow with every Joe.
    Silence is Golden to Each who you date. You are Not Comitted to any one Joe so go slow.
    It's funny how the One we want the most is the One who has no time but still sticks on our mind. With this being said, perhaps this is a sign tha the is Not the One for you nor would be a Perfect soul mate as well.
    Good luck and take your time to nurse and nurture each one. xx

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  • Don't wait for that guy cause he clearly doesn't make you a priority. Trust me, if he was into you, he would make time to see you. And he hadn't done that

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    • He made time, but then he had to go into work. He said he's going to look into when he's free from work next week and we'll meet up soon.

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