Experiences moving out with boyfriend... is it a good idea?

Is it a good idea to move out with your boyfriend? Im planning on doing it in a few weeks. What was your experience? Was it successful?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, lot things can happen when you take up living with someone all you can do is trial basis and see how things go , I wish you well i do know things can be hard at times

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you are constantly with each other all the time and spending the night at each other's place, then of course, it's best to move in and save yourself paying rent on another place. But you should establish some house rules. A lot of girls who have no experience living with a guy move in and find that a lot of things change right after. For example, if he still goes out all night with his guy friends and doesn't call. Or if you want friends over and he doesn't want people in the house. Using each other's things. Having privacy boundaries set. Sharing responsibilities around the house. Pooling your money together on things your need to buy.

    All these things should sort of be set between you both because if you bumble along and make rules as you go, you'll find one or both of you will become resentful wondering why you did it in the first place.

    I don't know your situation, but in my experience two guys went from living with their mommies to living with me. So basically I was the one picking up their underwear, serving them chocolate milk (not even kidding), cooking, doing dishes, and all the while, they sat around claiming they needed to relax. I learned after the first guy that I need to establish some fairness in the house as I too worked a full time job. If this sounds like you, you'll have to figure this out or you really will become angry that over time things you didn't agree on became issues, and if you let them fester, he'll wonder why they are suddenly problems when to him they weren't all along.

    Another thing: get tenants insurance. You just never know with what kind of friends he has or what will happen to your things should something miserable happen in the house.

    Offer to do a monthly budget together. Create an Excel document and save receipts for everything and each money tally up where both of you are spending your money. I implore you to do this because when new couples move in, sure enough someone will say, "Holy shit what happened to that hundred bucks I just gave you?" And you'll be like, "I went to the store. Duh.." Toilet paper and steaks cost a lot of money and in one visit to the grocery store, a hundred dollars could be gone fast. Save it before the argument starts and keep track of how you both spend your money together so that if he does snap and accuse you of overspending you can show him proof of your budget-keeping and the receipts you keep. It will be a wake up call for any partner not aware of where the money goes.

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What Guys Said 10

  • some people are against it but Im all for it after a while of dating, it's as far as its ever gone in a relationship for me but it was good when it was good but when you live together, you have to confront each other when things are bad.

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  • The term try before you buy comes to mind! Some people are just not compatible when it comes to living with each other. I think a dry run always helps to work out the kinks in the system!

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  • You will never know who a person really is until you move in with them. So it could be great or it could be a huge mistake. You'll find out eventually.

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  • it depends
    its different for everyone
    it could not work out or it could be the best thing that has happened to you
    it would be like a test, lol
    it only works if you work it
    Good Luck :D

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  • It was not successful, but I consider it a good experience anyway. We're best friends now, ironically.

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  • what i can say is that it's the best way to really know your man. The only one, so it's good.

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  • if both of you don't believe in the same thing than it will probably fail

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  • Usually if you move out you will press the pedal on whether you guys are right for each other or not. Since your with each other more often

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    • Yeah thats true. But he makes it a plan to see me everyday all day. We have been seeing eachother all day the past 2 weeks straight. We are better with eathoer in person

  • Let's start here.
    Have you and he run a budget?
    Have you discussed how chores will be distributed?

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  • i feel bad for the guy.

    females are going to give guys hell is so many aspects when living together.

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What Girls Said 20

  • It really depends on the specific relationship. I know a few people who've moved in together and it ended up causing a lot of problems leading to an eventual breakup, but there are also a lot of times where it works out and allows you guys to become closer than ever before. Every relationship is different, so I can't really tell you if it's going to be okay or not because I'm not you.
    Personally, I had a great experience moving in with my boyfriend. We moved in really early compared to other couples (we'd only been dating like three months), but that was mostly because we knew each other our whole lives and it didn't seem weird. He was only helping me out with rent because my roommate left without much notice, but it stuck. When we started dating it didn't feel like we'd just started dating because of how long we knew each other, but for us everything worked out pretty well. I learned a lot about him and he learned a lot about me. We learned that we were equally lazy when it came to cleaning, but we always got around to doing it eventually before the apartment got too gross. I learned that his family was very gendered when it comes to maintaining a home, so he knew everything about fixing a lawnmower, taking out the trash, shingling a roof, building a shed, and chopping wood (none of which comes in handy when you move into an apartment in a city), so he'd never learned how to do laundry, disinfect a bathroom, do dishes, cook, or even how to sweep properly. Lmao it's a big step and it might try your patience every once in a while, but it's not so bad and it's not as scary as it seems. It's pretty fun actually, like having a sleepover with your best friend every night. It'll take some getting used to, but it's nothing to worry about. Hope you two are happy with the decision. :)

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    • Thank you for sharing your experience :)

  • I moved in with my boyfriend when I was 16 and he was 20.
    There were circumstances... Family issues... And after dating for two years we moved in together.
    In total I've lived with him for three years, two while dating and one as a married couple.
    It was hard at first because we were both students. I was still going to high school and he was in university. No one was home to do the cleaning, etc and we were both home after 5pm sometimes even later depending on our work schedule.
    After a month we decided it wasn't working so we made schedules for everything, cleaning, cooking and stuff... We followed it for maybe two months... After that we were able to fall into a more natural pattern and it's been easy ever since.

    There were things that we had to get use to... He complained that I left my things everywhere, I complained about the toilet seat being left up, he thought my food needed more salt in it, I thought he ate things way too spicy... It was things like that but we learnt to compromise and love spending every minute with each other.

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  • You can never really know whether it's going to be successful or not. I moved in with a boyfriend once and it didn't work out. You have to be prepared for basically anything. Don't go in thinking everything is going to be perfect, because you will have problems and you will have fights. Now, You should make sure you want to do this. It's hard to live with other people. Have you lived on your own before?

    The best thing to do is have your own plan if something does happen. Don't expect your boyfriend to help you if it doesn't work out. Make sure you have somewhere to stay if you need to get out of there.

    I was unfortunate in that I didn't have a plan and figured everything would be fine. Well it wasn't. Not saying it won't work out. But it's always good to hope for the best and plan for the worst.

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  • Assuming you are truly compatible, the following answer applies:

    As long as the place you move into has enough space (physical, mental & emotional) for both of you (& any guests you anticipate having over frequently), it stands a decent chance of succeeding. This requires that you both know yourselves extremely well (because there's a lot of sh^t you'll have to agree on):

    - What bothers you?
    - What do you do when something bothers you?
    - How do you solve problems?
    - Does their tolerances match your tolerances (cleanliness, clutter, money-spending, etc)
    - Do you even want the same type of place?
    - Who will be responsible for what?
    - Pets?
    - Rent/bills
    - How much are each one of you willing to spend on said place?
    - Food: buying/preparing/frequency of dining out
    - Guests: who & how often
    - Personal space: Do you each need your own rooms?
    - If both of you are stressed out, can you avoid each other within said place enough to solve the cause of your stress (or will said place just make you more stressed out when occupied by 2 people)?
    - Transportation
    - How much stuff do each of you have, and what will be kept?
    - IF THINGS GO SOUTH what is the plan?

    That's just the (short) list I could come up with off-hand.

    Honestly, cohabiting has the potential to cause a lot more problems than it solves. It is, however, a good way to find out if you're ready to be together long-term. Just keep in mind that by moving in together, your dynamic will change drastically and what you have now MAY be much more preferable to what you have after you move in together. That is one potential sacrifice you are making.

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  • I'm doing the same thing too, I'm more nervous because his friend is living with us too and I really don't want him to :(

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    • Thats a little more risky with friends involved... good luck with that

    • Yeah I'm really uncomfortable with it, I will probably move out and find my own place alone. I really wanted to live with my boyfriend but now that he wants his buddy to live with us I am leaving I can't do it.

  • I'd say the success of living with your boyfriend depends on your relationship, and the maturity you both possess.

    Young people in a rush to live together have unrealistic views on what it will be like. Once you get into it, the reality of life will set in. This is where maturity on both your parts and the strength of your relationship will prove itself or not.

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  • It all depends on you two.
    You'll know only after you try it out for ad least 3 months.

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  • You get to really see the other side of the quarter, that's for sure. I was 21 when I moved in with my boyfriend. It was all fun and dandy but' we weren't ready for it.
    It's fun and exciting because it's new, just remember you're a team and never take each other for granted. It will work of you want it too. Good luck to you!!😊✌️

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  • Living with someone isn't easy, you will really get to know each other well for better or worse.

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  • It can either be the best thing you've ever done or the worst.

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  • if i had a boyfriend i really liked and he really liked me I would be so down

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  • If you feel like it's time and it feels right then go for it

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  • Dont do it hell just take you for granted

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  • I don't think it's a good idea.

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  • I don't have such experience, but although it sounds so easy and comfortable to just go with it since you love each other's company and already like live in each other's place, my opinion on the matter now is: spend the nights together and time at his place, cook together and what not, but don't move in together before marriage. If you ever intend to.

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    • Yeah we been doing that lol

    • Weather about marriage then? Don't want to?

  • ONLY IF
    you have a golden parachute foolproof plan (look it up)
    b/c
    soon after move in
    everyone drops their how-I-really-live "mask"

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  • Depends. How long have you been together? Do you spend most nights together currently regardless of not living together? Are you confident in knowing each other inside out? Are you both prepared to accept that neither of you are perfect and will have annoying habits and ways that will rub the other person up? Are you both able to manage money efficiently and handle any conflict that will arise around money and bills etc (because it will )?

    You will never truly no somebody until you live with them, whether this is a partner of a friend, you will always see a different side to them than you normally would living apart.

    I’ve been living with my boyfriend for a year and it’s fine, after the first couple of months (the exciting stage) the novelty where’s of slightly and the cracks do start to show – the bickering about money and who paid what last, him leaving his clothes everywhere and you leaving the fridge door open, disagreements on how much is spent on food etc etc etc … but this is life and this will happen with anyone that any of us live with, it’s just part and parcel with a relationship. It’s Compromise though and working together to make it work when things aren’t going as smoothly as you’d like at times.

    There are of course lots of plus sides to living with your other half of course, many of them in fact but just be open minded in that it won’t always been plain sailing and will take abit of work. But in a nut shell if you feel in your heart of hearts that you are both ready and both want to move onto the next chapter together then go for it. I wish you all the best x

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  • you two must agree first that it will go as it's planned. you have to think equally as him in some stuff to make it work. haven't done it but that's my guessings. wish you the best! :*

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  • Get a job first before you move out. You can only blame yourself if you get dumped and have been depending on your SO the entire time. You should not be 100% dependent on your partner financially. Yes you should let him be the man but you should still be able to take care yourself if you have to.

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    • I have had a steady job. As has he.

    • Sure that good. It depends on the reason why you are moving in and how long you have been planning this. If you are moving in to save money it might not go well but if you are moving in to get to know each other before marriage, make sure you are compatible emotionally first and make you sure you love each other first because I have heard that couples once they move in break up because they are only sexually compatible due to the convenience of living together but then they realize they actually are not compatible in other ways so they don't work out

  • Not a good idea.

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