Is this true? Can you love somebody and not be attracted to them. My argument is that pick up artists teach guys to become more attractive and competent with attracting women. Without attraction (what pick up artists teach), one cannot get love or long term relationships.
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- No56% (15)32% (6)46% (21)Vote
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Love, in the sense that you can love your child, you can love your dog, you can love your friend - sure.
I personally think it's kind of "scary" when a woman says that she can love "her man" without being attracted to him. What's also scary is when a woman says that she can love "her man" even if the attraction is not there initially, but as she loves his "other qualities," the attraction will develop over time. Those ladies can go sit in their own corner of the universe until their genes eventually get locked out of the gene pool.
Attraction --> Connection --> Closeness --> Intimacy --> Bonding --> Love
Otherwise, what you're saying is, you're either:
1. Settling (i. e., telling yourself, I'm never going to find anyone I'm attracted to who has as much value as I can exchange as a mate, so I might as well go with his guy), or,
2. Trading (i. e., forget a man's physical or sexual value, I'll compromise on that so I can exchange what value I have to offer as a mate in order to get more emotional or financial value from my male mate)
As far as "pick up artists" ("PUA"), that was clearly just a hype scam preying on male fantasies and insecurities and designed to sell books and other snake oil services. Plus, it doesn't seem like the goal of pick up artists is genuine love or long-term relationships.
There are two different markets:
1. The market for sex
2. The market for relationships
PUAs are just "posing" or "pretending" to be in the market for relationships, but are really just in the market for sex.
It would be completely honorable if the PUAs were preaching about where to find women who are just interested in sex only, and how to tactfully and diplomatically start a dialogue with such a woman, and bring her back home in such a way that she doesn't feel bad about having the sex she wants to have.
Yet, in a way, the flip side of that is that men are not the only dishonest culprits. There are plenty of women who "pretend" to be in the market for relationships, just to rid themselves of the guilt, shame, and social stigma of being a woman who is "just looking for sex." So, sure, these women might complain about men who "just want to have sex with her," but that's because she has an EMOTIONAL NEED to complain socially and to herself - because it helps her avoid feeling guilty and ashamed, maintain her identity and image to herself and to others.
But that aside, I don't think you can have "romantic" love without attraction.0