No sexual attraction to my girl what should I do?

she's not really my girlfriend, but we've been hooking up for a few months now and everything is good. but lately i just have no desire to have sex with her or spend any time with her. she loves me and i think that is the problem. she loves me and i dont love her back, at all. after we have sex she wants to cuddle and i really dont want to get into those feelings.

i care for her, i dont want to hurt her and would destroy anyone who hurts her. but i just can't be with her i have no interest in what she has to say, how her day went, what she is doing, nothing. i dont even wanna have sex with her, she's not my type physically at all. at all. i dont know how i got in so deep. what do i do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Show this girl some respect and walk away. You've simply been using her for sex all this time. You need to learn that guys & gals are wired differently. Vaginas are intrinsically connected to women's hearts. It was inevitable that she was gonna love you.

    Ironically, the reason you DON'T really care about her in that way is because she gave you sex for free (meaning without the exclusive relationship commitment) to begin with. She didn't respect herself nor her body, and therefore you don't really respect her either. And guys don't love girls they don't respect.

    Just explain to her that you can't keep doing this to her because in the long run it's not a good thing for either one of you. She will be hurt, there might even be tears, but deal with it. Rip off that band-aid and let it sting for a bit. Then keep your distance for a while at least, maybe permanently. Give her time to get over you. Providing continued exposure to you will only slow, if not stop the process of her moving on.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is the usual result of friends with benefits. "Please allow me to use you and have no regard for your feelings because I would like to have an ejaculation inside your vagina. When you fall in love with me, I'll remind you that we said friends with benefits so I won't need to feel guilty and I can blame you." You say that you care but, if you really cared, you would not have put her in this position.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Cut her off now before it gets worse. It's better to hurt her now than worse later. Be nice about it, say it isn't what you're looking for. Be honest and tell her that you can't see this developing in to a relationship, but don't blame it on her looks to her. If she asks just say you don't feel you mesh well. If she wants to remain friends with benefits tell her that you're more interested in a friendship with her, that you care about her, but you aren't sexually or romantically attracted to her and you don't want to keep her from what she deserves.

    Be clear. Let her know that there is no chance of a relationship with you, and don't string her along thinking it will hurt less. If you're direct she will know where she stands with you, and it will hurt her, but she won't be confused and she'll probably appreciate the honesty.

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  • Whyd you fuck her in the first place then

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  • Oh my god! Let the poor girl go. Break up with her immediately!

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  • Break it off study proves woman do get over relationships while men never get over them they just move on so she will find someone else let her cry and get over you she has to in order to be happy.

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  • if you're not attracted physically why'd you have sex? be honest with her.

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  • Just tell her that you're not interested in her anymore!

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  • You definitely need to end things, it's not fair to you or her to you or her to keep going with this, you both deserve to have the opportunity to find someone who actually cares.

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  • That's not a good situation, you're gonna embarrass and upset her no matter what, but that is just a part of life. You're not a bad guy for telling her you don't love her, it is better than her living in a fake state of "bliss" not knowing your real feelings.
    You should be careful though, and depending on her, it could be very hard to keep her as a friend.

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  • What do you mean "she is not my type physically"?

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    • ... have you never heard of a "type" ?

    • Show All
    • So what? She is too thin?

    • Just explain why she is not your type pysically

  • You should get out of her life fast. And stop using her for sex. Let her go before she ends up hating your guts. Its unneccery to hurt her.

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What Guys Said 9

  • That's the problem, guys hook up with someone they aren't physically attracted to, and scared it would hurt her feelings. You gonna AT LEAST listen to what she says, to show that you care about her, dude! You've used her for sex and now you're being inconsiderate? That's so douchebag

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  • Just tell her that you're cool with her, but don't feel anything beyond that. If you get it out of the way sooner, it'll be easier for both parties. I've done the same thing, part of the problem was the girls used misleading pictures since I met them online, but I just couldn't force myself to be attracted to them. No point in leading them on and stringing them along. It's better to be single and see no one them be with somebody just for the sake of having someone

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  • Honestly dude, sounds like she takes it seriously and you don't, only way you got in this deep without 'realizing ' it is if you don't really take sex seriously or sacred to speak (not saying that religiously just as a term) realize no matter what you're going to hurt her now and it is your fault, but the best course of action is to be straighforward and honest.

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  • You tell her you're sorry but it's just not working for you. You tell her now, stringing her along will just make the break-up worse for her. And you stop hooking up with her so she has a chance to find someone else. And you don't do the same thing to the next girl.

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  • You're a fucking dick, that's the cold truth, so you're physically attracted enough to fuck her and then all of a sudden not be? Just get out of her life, and learn from this.

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    • why are you calling me a dick for fucking a girl and not loving her. you are going against the bro code

    • Fuck the bro code :P

  • This is not your fault. It is hers for hooking up although girls are being victims of their own feelings and don't want to realise it.

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  • dump her hard.

    Girls love drama, she'll adore it.

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  • just tell her you want her to be your friend with benefits

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  • You walk away gently. The longer you wait, the worse it will be for her. Just tell her that you've lost your intimate feelings towards her, but that she means a lot to you and you would like to keep her in your life. I would recommend keeping your distance for 3-4 weeks to give her some time to deal the fallout. If you're around all of the time and she hasn't had time to get over it, it would be very tough on her to move on.

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