Do you judge your date based on how they treat service staff?

I've always used how they treat the wait staff as a basic judge of character on dates. If a guy is snobby or rude to a server, I'll never go out with him again. I think it's a very accurate and basic test of character.

One of the things that instantly made me swoon for my boyfriend was how gracefully he handle the service on one of our first dates when they were out of the first two beers he tried to order and then forgot to ring up our food.

  • Yes - it's a great way to judge character
    70% (33)65% (32)68% (65)Vote
  • Sort of, but I'll still go out with them again if I like them
    15% (7)12% (6)14% (13)Vote
  • No, I don't think it's a good way to judge someone
    6% (3)8% (4)7% (7)Vote
  • I've never thought of that
    9% (4)6% (3)7% (7)Vote
  • Show me the results
    0% (0)9% (4)4% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 22

  • I judge my date on how they treat EVERYONE. It's on the top of my list of important things. I am a FIRM BELIEVER in "treat others as you would want others to treat you".
    For instance, In public, I treat everyone with courtesy and respect. I always use please and thank you, open doors for people, let people in when trying to switch lanes driving, etc, etc. and I expect this out of my SO's as well as my friends.
    HOWEVER, I am also the first person to call someone out when they are being rude or disrespectful to others and have NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER teaching people lesson in manners. I won't go into details but I have gone as far and making people apologize for their actions to others. So... YES. I would judge my date on this. If a person has no problem being rude or hurtful to people they don't even know, how do you think they will treat you once they are comfortable around you?

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    • Exactly. The reason I use service staff as the bar is because a lot of people who will be perfectly nice to people they see as "on their level" or who they are trying to impress for whatever reason, will show their true colours when it comes to interacting with people thy see as "below" them. They're the type who get some kind of ego boost out of acting like they're better than the person serving their food and drink.

  • I voted A, but I'm somewhere between A and B.

    While I think it is somewhat of a good way to gage character, it's not a great way. I've known people who were nice to wait staff, but shitty to other people. Also, I think too many people might be aware that this is how their dates judge them, and so they kind of put on an act.

    I try to be polite with wait staff. They are virtually always polite with me. The last woman I dated (well, the only woman I've dated since my wife's passing) commented on how polite I was to the waitress (do people really get bothered if someone adds the "ess" on the end of certain professions?). When I was signing the check, she scooched over and kissed me right there and then. She whispered, "You're so sexy when you're a gentleman to her" I'm pretty sure she meant the waitress. So there you have it. The waitress got tipped well, I got good service (and a kiss), and my date was pleased. Everyone was happy. Be nice to your wait staff!

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    • Yeah, I'm definitely not saying that a person being nice to waitstaff means they are a GOOD or genuinely nice person - more than if someone is a DICK to the waitstaff, that's a good indication that they're NOT a genuinely good person. And in my experience, that does hold true.

    • I gotcha, and I think you're right.

      It's kind of like treatment of animals (not that I'm comparing wait staff to animals). People who treat animals very well are not necessarily nice to humans. However, people who treat animals poorly are almost always bad to people.

    • Egg-Zachery.

  • I think it's a good way. I don't like it when a girl complains to me the whole date. And if she was mean to a waiter I'd be like "woah is she gonna be like that with me? No thanks."

    I NEED to be very careful, i really cannot emotionally handle mean girls. I break down too easy and believe every mean thing they say about me.

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  • 've never actually thought about it tbh... but I think it is a good idea. a LOT of people talk to service staff etc like they're dirt... personally I'm a postman (Mailman) and supposedly 'nice' people talk to me like something they would scrape of their shoe.

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  • Being gracious is important for me. I don't think I would date a girl otherwise.

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  • That's actually pretty cool - hadn't considered it, but rudeness/condescension would be a turnoff to me as well. Then again, maybe some people can agree on treating serfs badly.

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  • Yes, I think it is a good way to judge character.

    I am friendly to waiters, unless they are not to me. And I tip for any reasonably good service, with the size of the tip depending on the quality of service. I would expect my date to be the same way.

    Some people are, by the way, too nice to waiters. For example, if a waiter is rude, there is no need to tip. A girl who tips a bad waiter would offend me as much as a girl who who is rude to a friendly waiter.

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  • No it isn't. A) waiter treatment can be automatic. It's like a given. I know some serious dodgy dudes who treat waitresses and staff nicely just because "that's how it roles" B) in terms of male dating. Nice guys are cool with everyone but they don't really get girls, so in that sense, he may be a nice guy, but not dating material.

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  • Yes, a good way of judging someone. I do that also.

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  • I judge all people like that. You treat people serving you badly I lose all respect for you.

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  • I use everything, their tone of voice, how the talk about their friends, do they smoke? What is their general mood etc etc.

    Thats if im interested in seeing them more than once. Most of the time its a one night thing ;)

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  • I wouldn't base a persons character off of that to unreliable but it a decent way to get a first impression of a person.

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  • Not solely on that but it does give me an impression

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  • Yes. I judge based on this. Firstly because it's just basic manners at the very least, but also because how dumb would someone have to be to give an excuse for their waiter to spit into your food?

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  • yes. since i'm never rude to service staff. they can shit, spit or put dirt, or mince up worms in your food and say it's "chicken" soup..

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  • Not at all; just the way we connect or have chemistry of some sort

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  • I'm very nice to people in my own confident manly way, waitresses seem to love me, I don't know if it's my wallet or personality :P

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  • Maybe the guy is like that because he repeatedly got screwed by the service staff when you weren't there to watch him interact with said service staff. Or maybe no one ever told the guy to change his behavior, that's why he's snobby or rude. Sometimes, divine intervention, such as yourself, is necessary in order to change a person into a better version of his or herself. Thank you, LORD Sara413 for reading my opinion. Peace and love, baby.

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    • "Maybe the guy is like that because he repeatedly got screwed by the service staff when you weren't there to watch him interact"

      What? I'm really not sure what you're trying to say with this opinion... obviously, if someone needs to be told how to treat others with respect, they're not a good person...

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    • Of course. I'm not God.

      You're being weird and I am not going to continue this nonsense conversation further.

    • Why not? This will probably be the best conversation you will ever have in your lifetime. :D You may not realize how important this conversation is right now, but when you die, you'll know the truth. I would like you to calm down, kind lady. It was enchanting to meet you through cyberspace. I hope you enjoy the rest of your current human journey. Peace.

  • No. A person is a complex system with a lot for us to learn about it. I liek to see the machinery, what is behind the first and easy impressions.

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  • i judge her on her income.

    Aliens don't have money, that's why.

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  • I've never been on a date but how they treat them would be important.

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  • It's a good way. A selfish person will probably still treat their partner right as long as they need something from them. A good person will show their kindness to many people, having a much more genuine attitude.

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What Girls Said 18

  • Not intentionally, but yeah, I think if my date was treating the wait staff badly, that would be a huge turn-off and I wouldn't want to go out with him again. How you treat people when you're in a "position of power" (even one as minor as being a customer) is a big indicator of real personality.

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  • Hell yes I do. I've been a server and they all deserve to be treated with respect. If my date doesn't do that, then he's capable of not respecting me as well.

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  • Yup.
    I don't do it consciously, but if I see they're being a jackass... I move on.
    It's easy to spot a good person vs. a bad person (in some aspects) that way.
    But even bad people can be nice when they need to be - so who knows...

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  • Yes I can't stand to see people rude to restaurant workers. Even if they get your order wrong. people make mistakes no need to berate anyone for it

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    • I was a bit of a snarky waitress at times... if someone acted like a total asshat over a petty little mistake I'd reply with a sarcastic "my apologies for being human." At that point with that type of person you KNOW you're not making a dime off that table anymore anyways, so fuck it. I'd rather have my pride intact than grovel for a few bucks from some narcissistic jackass who thinks they're better than me because I happen to be serving their drinks. You're rude to me? Be prepared for shitty service for the rest of the evening while I concentrate on my other tables.

  • I definitely do, I can't stand someone who looks or talks down to anyone.

    If my friends or family and I are out and they are rude to the server, I always tell them to stop.

    I work in customer service so i'm sensitive to how people treat people who work as servers and I hate that i'm above you attitude. I don't idolize careers, as long as someone is working then I respect them for that.

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  • Absolutely. It is a great way to judge someone's character. My boyfriend is always courteous and respectful of people. He is the type that some people may even consider too polite. He apologizes for things that he doesn't need to and says please and thank you to everyone. He even thanks me at the end of our phone calls. That is just the way he was raised. It is definitely a quality in him that I found attractive from the very first day I met him.

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  • Yes it's a great simple way to judge character. Lack of respect to other people, animals, property is usually bad news

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  • Yes! I'm turned off by rude/dismissive behavior towards the waiter/waitress.

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  • I can't stand people who are rude to service people. I always say thnak you, and please and excuse me. It's just the normal thing to do. People who don't do that or who act like waiters and stuff are "beneath" them, can't be trusted.

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  • yes, because the little things that people do tend to say a lot about them

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  • Agreed! It's also really embarrassing when they treat the staff like shit

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  • hell yeah, practically everything they do would get judged and im pree sure whatever im doing they're judging me ahha :)

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  • I would, yeah.

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  • nope. if they treated them badly, I'd ask them why. they may know something I don't.

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  • I've never thought about it but I guess so.

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  • If a guy was rude to a server , then what would he be like towards my mother if she served him Sunday dinner... and he wasn't happy about something lol

    How people treat others is a direct reflection of who they are as a person... it's a statement about their personality. So if a guy was rude to a server, i'd end the date.

    First impressions determine if they get a second date or not

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  • I sure do! If he's an ass then it's good insight into how he treats people.

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  • Yes I do..

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