Is it possible to avoid falling in love with the person you are dating?

I don't want to fall in love but I feel it happening.

Updates:
Final verdict- He offered up that he was indifferent on his own accord. So yeah... Love sucks.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Avoid almost presuppose and eventually , Love is one of those things we decide and want and thinking that if you see yourself falling in love and are now trying to avoid it , I'd say why? Good luck stopping it ,

    Love is never what hurts , its the yearning or the separation from the ones we love , voluntary or involuntarily. Let us say you are 40 , unless you know he has issues that eventually will come between you and cause harm,.

    I would never tell someone not to fall in love if its looking mutual and both are honest about their feeling. BUT I've seen a few too many girls fall in love with people who have an addiction of somekind, the girls hate it , but they are willing to go along anyway.
    I hope its not your case.
    What kind of guy is he?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It may not be possible to stop yourself from falling, but I do believe one can control the dissent. Make sure you keep part of your old life intact. Do the things you used to regularly before your got a boyfriend. Spend time with your friends without your boyfriend around. Most people find themselves dropping their lives completely when a new relationship appears. That's a good way to lose yourself and forget who you really are. Maintain your independence outside of the relationship.

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What Guys Said 23

  • You obviously don't want a relationship if you want to avoid falling in love. My advice is to end things right now with him because your misleading him. It's not fair to him or to yourself if you don't want it, end it now because he may be falling in love with you too

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    • It's not even that simple. I'm falling for him or else I wouldn't be asking this question. I think now that he may be falling for me too but, like anyone, I don't want to be in love alone and get hurt.

      I could never hurt him. I would do almost anything for him. Making him happy makes me happy but now I'm seeing that making me happy makes him happy too. Like really- we wake each other up in the middle of the night and just kiss.

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    • He didn't love me back. We broke up. I don't think he is capable of loving anyone. I know I'm better off.

    • I will touch one one small point you make, misleading , its ot fair to him and sometimes it not fair to her, I've seen that word used too often in that context , Misleading, giving someone false hope, give her the wrong idea , if I do this or don't that. I think to avoid nurting peoples feelings , which is the lesser of all dating negative issues, We just to not follow our heart or we prevent ourselves to do something so we don't ( possibly hurt their feelings ) We shouldn't go around hurting people feelings , Getting our feelings hurt , is the thing we get over the quickest and its a good way to learn and grow. We don't need to come an assassinate someone character , but stuff , like I make sure I'll never go walk here or there or else he'll think I'm still interested , and I don't want to hurt his feeling by misleading him, We need to be able to walk amongst the people and the little bumps and grinds along the way , are a necessary minor evil.

  • Apologies for my questioning of your motives, but should you not be dating the person because you love him?

    Why date a person who you don't love and are afraid fall in love with?

    What do you define dating as?

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  • Date more than one person at a time, spend less time with them, remember yourself of the things about them that you dont like. Dont cuddle after sex. No hand holding either.

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  • Why not? I believe it's automatic. You feel the way you feel, let it flow through you. If you don't want to fall, or want to go slowly, put up some walls, give yourself distance 'till you're more comfy. Just keep him in the loop.

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    • I'm afraid he is acting like but doesn't love me back. Im crazy about him. I know I like him not just based on appearances but I kinda feel he likes me based in mine.

  • Try to consider the relationship a friends with benefits

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  • You might stop the dates... it will help...

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  • The more often a human sees something, the more he gets used to it until he likes it. So No. The answer is No. Especially if you have memories together.

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  • My birth confirms that. HI-OH
    ... I'm sad now.

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  • excuse me for being young and naive but why exactly are you still dating them if you don't want to fall for them at some point? i get it sex is sex but i wouldn't call that "dating" :P

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  • Sure, there is also a way to avoid burning when stepping into fire.
    That way is to not step into fire.

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  • ... Then why are you dating them?

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  • give in to it, you have no chance with this one... resisting may work temporarily but if he's the right one it won't, and that's not a bad thing IF he is

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  • Why wouldn't you want to fall in love with the person you're dating? I guess the only way not to fall in love is if you just don't like them.

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  • Why would you be dating them then? If its not some kind of monetary gain you're after, falling in love is usually the point of dating.

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  • you might try to not fall in love but eventually sooner or later you will get feelings and they will develop into love...

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  • why not?
    and just find a flaw on that person and keep emphasizing on that flaw
    and if you can't find a flaw then why not fall in love r8 :P
    good luck

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  • just tell him its only about sex and money.

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  • Then date, you should not or it will happen

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  • Why are you dating then? Are you in it for the money or the sex?

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  • why are you so against falling in love?
    Its not something you can actually avoid (if its real love)

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  • you date him for sex?

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  • Well um just stop dating him if you don't want to fall in love.

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  • Yeah, you snap out of the idealistic daze you're in and realize they'll probably be just as shitty as most other people out there.

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What Girls Said 15

  • No, I don't think that's really possible. Being worried the feelings aren't mutual is a pretty normal thing to be concerned with. Even when you've been together for a considerable amount of time, and are visibly smitten with each other, there'll always be a fluctuation of feelings. Sometimes it'll feel like you're more interested in him than vice versa, it'll switch around a few times. As long as the difference in apparent 'feelings' isn't too great, it's fine.

    Pretty standard and crucial to dating, in my opinion. If you know you've got 100% of them already, gone will be the challenge of striving to be your best to keep them. I actually think it's when people get to that point, where they lose any sliver of feeling as though they do still need to go out of their way to woo their partner, that many relationships fall apart. Results in people feeling neglected, completely insignificant, etc.. Also, once you do fall in love, you get this feeling of security that your partner no longer needs to wow you with fancy dinners, gifts, etc. solely to impress. That you know he's all in, and at this point he's in far too deep emotionally-speaking to require material things.

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  • I wish I had the answer. I had no desire to "fall in love" with my boyfriend. I didn't even know it was happening. I didn't want to set myself up for heartbreak; just being in "like" was enough for me. I wanted to be able to walk out before someone had the power to hurt me.

    Over time I found myself developing deeper feelings until one day I had to admit it happened; my "like" was a lot deeper than I had intended.

    I'm not sure there is a way to fight it if it is the right person at the right time.

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  • I have no idea of the answer but I love your question. My last serious relationship was my marriage and the divorce was so so painful that I had a high wall around my heart when I started dating my current boyfriend. Then one night, he rolled over in his sleep and wrapped his arms around me and the immediate thought clanging around in my head was "this man is going to break my heart." I couldn't help falling for him, and he probably will break my heart eventually, but I can't even make myself regret that I'm going down this road again. I suspect that I just can't spent a ton of time with a man who is this perfect for me and not get attached. If that's your story, too, might as well just be grateful to be with such a great guy.

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  • well, isn't that a conundrum. the only realistic way to stop is to stop dating him.

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  • why don't you want to fall in love, is It because you haven't been dating that long or is it due to being hurt in the past?

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  • As much as you want to avoid falling in love, if it's meant to be you will.

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  • You're playing with fire, then.

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  • Why would you date someone if you didn't want to fall in love with them? If you don't want to catch feelings then break up with him.

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  • Then you should stop dating this person. But I don't know why you would want to fall in love with someone you are dating.

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  • Probably not. Why don't you just end things if you don't want love? Why push love away?

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  • Then why are you dating?

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  • Then don't date them, just be friends

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  • If you're afraid to fall in love with somebody then you probably shouldn't be with them

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  • It depends on your mind stability and attitude

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  • Yes, if you're in a relationship with someone you're completely unattracted to.

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