I've noticed from my dating experience that after 3-4 dates men even the interested ones will normally do a pull back. Usually everything until the third date will go fast then somewhere in between 3-6 dates he will pull back a bit. Why is that? What dhould I do when this happens?
Most Helpful Guy
You can't really do anything "when this happens." By then it's too late.
If you're saying that this is happening with guys who you know are interested in you, then, be a little Socratic for a moment and think what else could be going on?
He's interested in me, check!
Okay? Is that it?
Is that all that dating is?
He's interested in me, period - now continue to date and invest in our time and relationship together until "I" decide that I'm also interested in you, and at that point, eventually marry me?
No. Men are people too.
Shocking, I know, but according to medical science - it's true.
Let's phrase it another way. Let's pretend you start talking to a guy you're really interested in, and you're not really seeing or feeling like HE is interested in YOU. Or, you can tell that he's "somewhat" interested, but he's not STRONGLY interested in you, or that interest is NOT STRONG ENOUGH.
Is that really who you want to be in a relationship with?
Do you really want to have a relationship where YOU are strongly interested in HIM, but HE is NOT STRONGLY INTERESTED in YOU?
That's hopefully a rhetorical question, the answer to which is, "No."
Okay, why do you think men are any different?
And, if they're not any different, then "How many dates does it" take until a man executes a STOP LOSS order? The most critical moment for a pilot is during "take-off." If it takes you 2 minutes to go 380mph, you're going to end up in the river (not in the air). If the emotional interest is not very strong, then men conclude that this is not a relationship worth getting into. So, what's the point of investing any further in it? Just for the sex? No thank you. So, they cut their losses and move on to a new opportunity to find what they're looking for - maybe there's an equally attractive girl out there who DOES feel STRONGLY INTERESTED in him. If that's not you, that's okay - no hard feelings - but that doesn't mean he's going to continue wasting his time and money with a relationship he knows will either not work out or one he knows he will not be happy in.
3-4 days is "just enough" time to see whether a girl is STRONGLY INTERESTED. If she needs more than 3-4 dates, then that "spark" is not really there - there's a real risk that her interest may be genuine, but her STRONG interest may not be.
So, something you're doing is sending that message to guys. You have to figure out what it is.0
Most Helpful Girl
they lose interest.0