Ladies, what is it that is unappealing to women about intellectual men?

As the above question states, -and I think I speak for a lot of guys who would be considered as intellectuals- what is it about us that many women find unappealing? Is it that we seem to dwell on impersonal, logical topics? I. E,
"So, it would seem that the pattern associated with Mandelbrot sets..."
"We're not exactly sure
what happens when we theoretically surpass the Planck Temperature..."
"Though others may disagree, I prefer using Etomidate during RSI, because Versed.."

Is this type of logical discussion what relegates us to the "No way, hose B" category, or is it that we are -on a social level- someone that cannot be related to due to the chasm-like difference of opinion? "You like country, I prefer classical. You read Stephanie Meyers, I read Henry Gray, F. R. S. You share feelings, I share ideas. You like the sound of this music, I like the theory behind it, etc."

Does the problem stem from being either unable or unwilling to share feelings? Is it that logic is king to us, since emotion is not concrete and timeless? It seems -with me at least- that I am often passed over for the likes of Freddy Frat Boy, and his moral/intellectual bankruptcy, because he has a silver tongue and a cool car.

There are three possibilities from my prospective: One: I am doing something wrong, and am socially inept in the dating department. Two: My attitude or demeanor is unappealing, I am not as accepting as others, and am unable to see this. Three: Far too many people in this day and age are veritably incoherent, prone to insipid conversation that could make a stone sleep, cognizantly surmounted by a mere leaf, and prefer counterparts that follow suit.

Updates:
Good Lord. A cardigan and chinos? More like a well worn pair of jeans and a Metallica shirt. I do NOT CONSIDER MYSELF as some sort of God, I consider myself as someone who reads, studies, and doesn't have any appeal to a social, "how's the weather?" I am wrong often. I encourage correction, I
never will know all. Goddamn. I must be speaking a foreign language to be labeled as such.
Either I am not wording something correctly, or it is being read wrong. The day I consider myself to be superior to anyone, is the day that I will not be me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would guess two things. One, that highly intelligent guys, or guys who prefer intellectual discussion, might unintentionally make a girl feel insecure. Insecurity can manifest in so many ways, and they might deny that they feel that way, but feeling significantly outclassed on that level is unpleasant. It's not really your fault, necessarily, but I can see that being a problem.

    Another issue, though, is that getting too caught up in intellectual conversation can come across as arrogant/condescending, as others have pointed out. Even if the girl doesn't feel insecure, an impression like that is obviously a bad thing. Maybe try to make a point of engaging in the other person's interests. If they seem to be disinterested in one of your topics, or if they react badly to something you say, don't continue with that. Pay close attention to what engages *them* the most.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's one and two.

    You need some self-awareness to go with your intelligence. You have a lot of company in this regard.

    I'm an intellectual guy, I suppose, but I would never present myself, my worldview or my personality the way you've presented yourself here. You're painting kind of a repellent picture. Reading what you've written, I have to ask: What girl would want to get with this guy? And how is pedantic and condescending supposed to be attractive?

    I'm being frank because you can choose to be a man who will get desirable, attractive girls, and it doesn't mean changing who you are--it means changing how you behave. Good luck.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I'm a reasonably clever cookie and I like guys that are smarter than me becuase it makes it more fun and a challenge. I don't like guys who think they're better than me. That's not fun. That's annoying.

    All these examples are you looking down on someone else's interests and approaches instead of saying "wow that's pretty different. Why do you like these things or what made you get into that?" I don't want to learn about just your stuff. I want you to learn about mine too.

    If you stop putting other people and what they like down, and start trying to learn from them instead, they'll like you a LOT more.

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  • I think she would just be confused. We all aren't as intelligent as you... So just try to compromise. If a girl doesn't have a decent conversation about serious topics once in a while then she isn't a keeper. Just look for opinionated girls who aren't afraid to debate over intelligent topics. There aren't a lot but that makes it easier to weave out the wrong ones

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  • I refuse to date someone who isn't intelligent so I don't know what you are talking about...

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  • Are you kidding? I love intellectual guys. Thats all I date, smart Catholic handsome guys.

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  • Your attitude is unappealing, even from this one post you just seem arrogant

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  • The geek I liked I thought was a bit egoistic. He is 33 and single and I tried out being nice to him but vain.. I was not able to understand him and he was really shy/egoistic to approach me back.

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  • The fact you call yourself an intellectual makes me want to vomit all over your cardigan and chinos. Calling oneself an intellectual makes you sound like a pompous fart-sniffer.

    I admire and am attracted to intelligence, insight, wit and a curious and open minded nature. Not someone who describes themselves in a way that is intended to make them sound superior.

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    • I also wholeheartedly agree with Belle - it backs up what I said, condescending, boring assholes who like to sniff-each others farts. Keep your boring opinions for your book club. Most people enjoy life, they don't want to discuss the theory behind it.

    • Heh! I'll have you know that flatus odor sniffer is a lucrative profession. One that one can raise a family on. It is an honorable and noble pursuit in field of sciece.

What Guys Said 4

  • Personality is like a film. Many are vacuous, some are amusing anyway, the really great ones engage people on every level. There is something for those who want to feel and something for those who want to think.

    You sound like you'd be a pretentiously obscurantist self-consciously intellectual art house production. One of Peter Greenaways less popular works perhaps. Maybe you should aim for Kubrick or David Lean.

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  • You should turn this into a my_take

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  • Girls swoon over smart guys like a kid in a candy shop.

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  • Their gapping pussy where a heavy set of balls and dick should be.

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