As the above question states, -and I think I speak for a lot of guys who would be considered as intellectuals- what is it about us that many women find unappealing? Is it that we seem to dwell on impersonal, logical topics? I. E,
"So, it would seem that the pattern associated with Mandelbrot sets..."
"We're not exactly sure
what happens when we theoretically surpass the Planck Temperature..."
"Though others may disagree, I prefer using Etomidate during RSI, because Versed.."
Is this type of logical discussion what relegates us to the "No way, hose B" category, or is it that we are -on a social level- someone that cannot be related to due to the chasm-like difference of opinion? "You like country, I prefer classical. You read Stephanie Meyers, I read Henry Gray, F. R. S. You share feelings, I share ideas. You like the sound of this music, I like the theory behind it, etc."
Does the problem stem from being either unable or unwilling to share feelings? Is it that logic is king to us, since emotion is not concrete and timeless? It seems -with me at least- that I am often passed over for the likes of Freddy Frat Boy, and his moral/intellectual bankruptcy, because he has a silver tongue and a cool car.
There are three possibilities from my prospective: One: I am doing something wrong, and am socially inept in the dating department. Two: My attitude or demeanor is unappealing, I am not as accepting as others, and am unable to see this. Three: Far too many people in this day and age are veritably incoherent, prone to insipid conversation that could make a stone sleep, cognizantly surmounted by a mere leaf, and prefer counterparts that follow suit.
never will know all. Goddamn. I must be speaking a foreign language to be labeled as such.
Most Helpful Girl
I would guess two things. One, that highly intelligent guys, or guys who prefer intellectual discussion, might unintentionally make a girl feel insecure. Insecurity can manifest in so many ways, and they might deny that they feel that way, but feeling significantly outclassed on that level is unpleasant. It's not really your fault, necessarily, but I can see that being a problem.
Another issue, though, is that getting too caught up in intellectual conversation can come across as arrogant/condescending, as others have pointed out. Even if the girl doesn't feel insecure, an impression like that is obviously a bad thing. Maybe try to make a point of engaging in the other person's interests. If they seem to be disinterested in one of your topics, or if they react badly to something you say, don't continue with that. Pay close attention to what engages *them* the most.1
Most Helpful Guy
It's one and two.
You need some self-awareness to go with your intelligence. You have a lot of company in this regard.
I'm an intellectual guy, I suppose, but I would never present myself, my worldview or my personality the way you've presented yourself here. You're painting kind of a repellent picture. Reading what you've written, I have to ask: What girl would want to get with this guy? And how is pedantic and condescending supposed to be attractive?
I'm being frank because you can choose to be a man who will get desirable, attractive girls, and it doesn't mean changing who you are--it means changing how you behave. Good luck.1