Girls, I need to bring up some feelings with a girl but every time we hang out I chicken out?

We are just friends but I like her. I think bringing up my feelings could compromise the friendship as we've talked about it once before a while back and to go back to it.. I could see how she would be frustrated with me. Part of me feels like I need to get it off my chest as a no regrets kind of thing. Part of me just doesn't want to lose the friendship BUT at the same time whenever we hang out I think about her more and more as someone I want to date.

Anyways, should I tell her before we hang out that I have something to say? That way I can't back out? (i don't want to do the whole thing over the phone)
Should I just dissappear on her and delete her # and social media & begin the process of forgetting her?
What is the most respectful way to go about this? I'd say the way that might peak her interest in me but I'm getting to the point of giving up on her so even saying that feels desperate.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's best to be honest. If she doesn't like you that way you can both laugh it off and still be friends. It's only awkward if you think it is. Not very healthy to keep your feelings hidden too. Don't leave her hanging I think she'll feel far worse and confused, that's quite a selfish thing to do. You go bro, be a man!

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    • Thanks for the pep talk! I'll read that before I see her again. I just hope we can both laugh it off at this point (if it ends up being a negative reaction). When we first had this talk I was kind of OK with it because I didn't know her that well. Problem is as I get to know her I like her more & more.

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    • I haven't seen her since. She's been flaking pretty hard, asked her if she wanted to do something last weekend and she just never got back to me. I figure if she can't even be bothered to be friends she definitely won't be receptive to more. So I'm done with her. If she actually wants to be friends I'm assuming she'll contact me.

    • Good choice. Flaky people won't give you a solid start to a good relationship. Don't lose heart!

What Girls Said 1

  • If you're really interested in her, go for it. You never know how amazing it could turn out if you don't try. You don't want to look back in life thinking what if.

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    • Is there even a scenario where bringing this up again in person changes anything though? I feel something when we are together but I feel like if it was mutual she would've probably said her feelings had changed by now.

    • She obviously means something to you if you still like her in that way even after talking about it before. People change, you never know what might happen. I can't tell you what will happrn, and you won't know because life is unpredictable. But personally, whether u agree or not, I think you should just tell her. Maybe it won't change anything, maybe it will. But waiting around wondering won't do you any good. If she still isn't interested then you can just let her go if you want or continue being friends if she still wants to. There's nothing wrong with that. But sitting around wondering what if? will never get you anywhere. Go for it! :)

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