I have a crippling fear of rejection. Like to the point where I am currently avoiding my crush entirely even though we're friends because I don't want him to think I care too much about taking to him. I'm even afraid of FRIEND rejection. Not sure where it came from or how to conquer it. Help!
Most Helpful Guy
Fear of rejection is common and comes from our evolution... but its no longer useful in today's world of endless dating options. We can literally murder someone, go to prison, and upon release simply move somewhere new... and start all over. So being rejected isn't even something that can hurt us anymore, and yet we all do.
Maybe realizing that a fear of rejection is about protecting our insecure ego's might help you to see how silly this is. It's our EGO's that make us NEED for others to like and love us. And the EGO is a terrible thing when it's allowed to make life decisions for us, especially ones based on fear.
Being needy in a way that encourages us to NEED our friends to like us is harmful... it hurts us because it makes us weird and fearful, and it hurts our friends because it makes us fake and manipulative. People can FEEL it when we're doing things to make them like us, and it pushes them away.
So be weary of this.
Instead I recommend you find the courage to be vulnerable, because that's more beautiful and honest and sweet and awesome.
It's better to be rejected for being ourselves than to be accepted when we're being someone else.
Rejection is a good thing.. it gets us closer to what we're after. If you're after an awesome loving boyfriend, then waking through the guys who aren't really into you is the fastest way to finding someone who IS totally into you. Why waste months orbiting some dude who's not really into you? Flirt, tease and be playful... and if he's not into it then move on to someone more worth your time!
Because you're worth it.
Most Helpful Girl
Get over it. Stop selling yourself short. I had this problem. I know my worth but the fear of someone else not knowing it would drive me insane and it can mess up good relationships if you let it control you. I had to let it go and love myself. If you reject me, fine. It's not changing who I am. You just have to think about it like that.. you're only as valuable as YOU allow yourself to be.1