Guys, what should I do? Is this okay?

We met online. We've been consistently seeing each other for two months now. He's met my friends, I've met his. We stay at each other's houses. We've talked about meeting families. We just went on a two day trip together. He's opened up about family stuff and exes. He and I have gotten in a fight and he's tried to make it work. He definitely wants to be exclusive and try. He lives 45mins- an hour away and it's hard. We are exclusive but not official and I'm wondering if that's okay. Should he know by now? He says he really likes me and sees a future with me but that it takes him a little while to deem things as serious and that he thinks he'll get there if I'm just patient with him. He said he's made the mistake in the past of jumping the gun and now he's afraid. I trust him and know he really likes me but I'm nervous. He and I went to a brewery and got drunk and he opened up about how much he likes me and wants to be with me and he does say it when he's sober but not to the extent he did when he was drunk. I don't know what to think. Does this sound legit?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm a dude who likes commitment when I'm dating someone I really like. Saying "Oh, I don't want to rush things" is a bullshit way of saying, "You're hot and I like sleeping with you but I also want options."

    So that's your answer. If he wanted commitment he would say so.

    The question is... are you okay waiting around for some guy who doesn't know what he wants in this life? Obviously you are.

    Just be aware... that it's okay to be fully attractive to someone and push them away if they're aren't willing to meet your needs. It's okay to be completely in love with someone and still be willing to walk away if they're are harmful to you longterm.

    You need to decide what you deserve, because we all get what we decide we deserve.

    ~ Robby

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    • While I appreciate your opinion, I don't think he wants other options. He isn't seeing anyone else and spends all his free time with me. I don't think it's about not thinking I'm enough but I could be wrong. He told me "I don't want to be with anyone else. You completely satisfy all of my needs and I don't want anyone but you. I've just jumped the gun before and end up feeling foolish when it doesn't work out. I'd rather wait a little and know for sure before telling everyone that you're my girlfriend. I'm basically your boyfriend and you can tell whoever you want that I am but I'm still not ready to tell everyone that. But I'll get there" do you still think it's an excuse?

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    • Well we Are exclusive. We aren't seeing anyone but each other. That isn't the issue. He just isn't ready to tell people he's my boyfriend yet. I'm just wondering if that's normal or if he should be ready by now

    • If he's not telling other people then you're not really exclusive, at least in my old-man opinion. Hmmm... you have'n't really said, but if you're having sex at this point then he SHOULD be ready for it. If you're not having sex, then it seems pretty normal that he's holding off. That's my two cents... everyones different I suppose. What really matters is what YOU want.

  • It sounds pretty legit to me. He's conflicted based on bad experience. If you are patient, he'll hopefully come around but I'd suggest you establish a deadline in your mind and if he is still on the fence, let him know it's time to sing or get away from the piano.

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