I really like this girl but she's pushed me away, came back and then pushed me away again. How can I win? What do I do?

This girl I met, she's a very self concious girl who has had a very rough past, especially with relationships, she's self harmed and wanted to kill herself a lot. She hasn't trusted anyone or properly loved anyone since. When we got talking, she grew more and more closer to me and told me things she doesn't usually tell people. We played games together, we screen shared on Skype and watched things together and a lot more, we were closer than anything you could put together. We are also two almost identical people.

So, after a week or two of talking, she wanted to go separate ways and avoid hurting me because she's too depressed to carry on and has no feelings for me, and that it may have just been a crush. It broke me a little and I pleaded to her on Skype, which made her want to cheer me up and make me think she wasn't going to walk away. So she made our last conversation a good one so she didn't have to feel bad. Which annoyed me so much because I genuinly thought she would stick around.

A week later, she's seeing how I'm doing. From there, we grew close again, closer than before. We had deep conversations. She went as far as saying that she wasn't going to leave me again and that she's glad that she did check up on me because she missed me. She went on cam on Skype for the first time with me, after a lot of battling her self conciousness and told me about her illnesses to see if I was genuine. (bipolar, depression and anxiety). She was most afraid that I would leave her because of her looks, she feels that just because she weighs a little more than average that I'd be put off by it. Which I wasn't.

But then, a couple days later, last night to be exact, she did the exact same thing only this time telling she has a crush on someone else that was there before she met me. She told me that she hates that she has no feelings for me because I'm exactly what she's looking for in a guy and that she'd rather push me away so that she doesn't hurt me.

So what do I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Dude charity cases like her will only hurt you dealing with her issues will be very a roller coaster for you believe me I dated my ex when he was a young kid watched when his dad choked his mom dealing with all his issues was way to much for me. Find someone who stable your life would be easier.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just keep it at the friendship level cause she obviously is gonna take forever to get really close to you. Care for her and show her that you appreciate spending time with her.


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What Girls Said 1

  • She likes you but she feels bad that she has real feelings for this other guy. She doesn't want to hurt you and hates that she is.


What Guys Said 2

  • Normally I would stick with her and try to help her but..

    ''this time telling she has a crush on someone else that was there before she met me. She told me that she hates that she has no feelings for me''
    Hard thing to do, but time to move on, man.

  • If you aren't fucking someone and you find yourself spending too much time on them, good sign you should stop talking to that person.