Is dating harder for shy guys than shy girls?

I can't count the amount of 'we are both shy' questions that advise the female to overcome her shyness as the guy probably won't. Do people think that it is harder in the dating world to be a shy guy, than it is to be a shy girl?

  • Yes, it is harder for a shy guy.
    50% (8)78% (31)70% (39)Vote
  • No, it is harder for a shy girl.
    6% (1)2% (1)4% (2)Vote
  • It is equally difficult for both.
    44% (7)20% (8)26% (15)Vote
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Updates:
I don't understand why so many of you guys seem to think shy girls have it easy. I'm a shy girl... it is not as easy as you guys are describing. Because I'm shy, I don't meet a lot of new people... I'm not lonely, but I am a loner... Which also makes me inexperienced, so if a guy *does* show interest in me, I either mistake it as friendliness, or panic, make a fool of myself and/or make a swift exit. Plus, I'm attracted to shy guys... Shy girl + shy guy is really not easy at all :/

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it can be equally difficult. Guys, or people in general really, tend to want to talk to outgoing girls/people more since it's easier. Breaking a shy girl's barrier is difficult and can be very frustrating. Her shyness can be misinterpreted as disinterest or as her being snobby. I think most guys see it as a waste of time. And most shy girls aren't really noticed anyway, since they don't take up much social space.

    The same can be said about shy guys. Shy people are often forgotten and ignored because they are quiet.

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What Guys Said 14

  • It is a lot harder for a shy guy. A shy girl is a lot more likely to be pursued by a bold man, than a shy guy is to be pursued by a bold woman. Meaning a shy guy might never get a date.

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  • Since it's generally expected that guys are the ones who do the approaching it's obviously harder to approach when you are shy. Many of these shy guys who eventually build up the courage to approach a girl will be seen as a creep simply because he is shy, awkward and inexperience and this will be a serious blow to his self esteem that is already very low.

    Since girls don't have this expectation of approaching and it doesn't matter if you are shy when all you have to do is stand there and be approached. Regardless of what happens a shy girl will have every opportunity to get her self esteem risen from all the guys approaching her over the years.

    Being a girl in the age of 25+ an never ever been approach or contacted online is very uncommon. For a guy to be in that position is on the other hand quite common.

    If the question on the other hand was "Who has a harder time finding true love?" Then the answer would probably be both genders equally.

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  • Yes, it is harder for a shy guy. It quite frankly doesn't even matter how shy you are if you are a girl, since guys are the ones who are expected to ask the girls out anyway.

    And girls complain about gender roles. Smh

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  • It's harder for shy guys because we are still expected to be the ones who do the chasing, initiate contact, ask girls out, etc..

    Guys tend to view shyness in girls as cute and endearing. Girls tend to view shyness in guys as weakness and lack of confidence.

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  • I think it's harder for both but comparatively I think it's a lot more difficult for a shy guy.

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  • Guys are expected to take the initiative. If a girl is attractive she will be approached at some point. Unless she is too shy to go out in public, then you're talking another level of shy similar to agoraphobia.

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  • Because the guy is always expected to make the first move. He goes in knowing he's likely to be immediately shut down, being shut down isn't exactly good for a reserved nature. Shy girls on the other hand can sit back and wait for someone to come up to them, if that happens, then they get a surge of confidence immediately, if no one shows up, then no harm no foul; She gets the benefit of not having to make a fool of herself from asking and being shut down.

    This isn't always the case, but it is most of the time.

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  • well obviously, because guys are expected to do the first move while girls just wait and have guys flock to them xD

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  • Have you ever heard a girl say "I'm going to go ask out that shy guy because he's cute"

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    • You might hear me say that... Very, very quietly so that no one can hear me, haha! I don't ever ask, of course... Because I'm too shy :P

  • It is definitely harder for the shy guy

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  • Yes it's much harder for shy guya

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  • It's harder for a male because we are not bombarded with constant attention from the opposite sex and in order for us to get attention we often are expected to initiate it and that is fundamentally the main part of the dating game. Women even shy ones are approached and even when they aren't responsive a male is still likely to keep interest.

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    • You see this is not my experience of the world. I am rarely approached by men in the romantic sense (at least... I don't think I am?). I agree that men are "expected" to initiate in most cases, though. On the flip side, girls are often taught that it is unfeminine to make the first move... I can't tell you how terrifying it is as a shy girl to even think about breaking the shy barrier, as well as breaking "the rules" and and asking a guy out.

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    • I can tell you with 100% certainty that if you showed a guy interest and he happened to be shy as well, he would lose his shit that a female was interested enough in him to make the first contact.

    • I will keep that in mind in future... Thanks :)

  • Of course.
    A shy guy is still expected to make all the moves.
    A shy girl can just lean back and wait.

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  • I say it can be equally difficult.

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    • As a shy girl... I would have to agree. I am absolutely hopeless at flirting... Or even letting the guy know that he has a chance. I also tend to be attracted to shy guys... Which basically means that I don't date at all because everyone is too shy to make the first move *winning*

    • Lol.

What Girls Said 1

  • Nah bro its equally difficult for sure
    I know this with a passion

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