Guys, Is there any way to "make him" want to commit without pressuring him?

I've met a guy that I really, really like. I could see myself being with him. He likes me too. Actually, he liked me first. He never wanted a relationship though, just cuddling or friends with benefits (because he's not ready). I told him I don't have sex outside of a relationship. He told me it was fine, he would be happy as long as he would get to kiss me and cuddle.

We haven't kissed yet (4 months after we first met) Now he says that he doesn't wanna cuddle, at least not at the moment because he's not ready for a girlfriend and therefore he doesn't wanna kiss me and hang out like that because that could lead to a relationship, which he isn't ready for. So we agreed to be friends right now. And whenever we hang out he's like "as friends, of course" and I'm like "I know".

He still acts the way a boy acts when he has a crush on a girl though. Teasing (a lot!) etc. So I think he likes me still?

But yeah, as I mentioned, I would really like to spend more time with him and possible have him as my boyfriend. But I can't tell him that nor push him into it. Is there any guy here that has been in the same position as this guy, and what made you want to commit? Or do you just have any suggestions? I really want help :) Many people who know both of us have told me that we'd be cute together and they can tell that we are close and stuff.. And I don't know.. We are quite similar, yet not. It just feels very right when I'm with him. We haven't hung out outside of school yet, but we've been alone a few times at school.

Updates:
Are you guys fucking kidding me? .. smh

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6

Most Helpful Guy

  • There is no way to make him commit. It is something he would have to do on his own. Any pressure will have the opposite effect of what you want. You are right to insist on holding off on sex outside a relationship. This almost sounds like the way a guy would act if he's trying to get in your pants. I was in the same position as this guy. This is how I acted when I wanted sex, but not 'her' as a girlfriend. Kissing and cuddling is fine, but hold off on the sex until he wants a relationship without you asking. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 5

  • Why isn't he ready? Is it because he's getting free milk so he doesn't need to buy a cow?

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  • Is he uncomfortable getting close? Show him how much you like him by getting close cuddling him and maybe just kiss him on the cheeck here and there. 4 months in I think you're gonna have to make it happen or let him know u think its going nowhere and try someone else. If he really likes you that should send alarm bells running for him

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  • If you are talking about marriage, most guys these days already know about divorce laws and other rip-offs of marriage, so, that might also be the thing that worries him. If you just want to co-habit with him and live together for rest of the life, he would likely be happy with that.

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  • it that really want you want? a fake commitment?

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  • Start doing domestic stuff for him like invite him to your house for dinner, bake him a cake, etc. Show him wife/serious girlfriend behaviors outside of the sexual arena. Start watching movies with him that are R rated. Get him a little bit intoxicated one night and ask him if he wants to watch a porn flick.

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