Guys, Would you date a girl who was sexually abused?

Assume she's not 'damaged' or anything like that. And was able to move past it...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • For sure... I have previously.
    1. It's not her fault that she fell victim to a crime of that sort;
    2. I may be robbing myself of an opportunity to be with the ideal person for me by opting not to date her on those grounds; and
    3. What has befallen her does not make her any less of a person and/or a potential partner.

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What Guys Said 39

  • You know... here's the thing.
    Don't let the past define who you are.
    It is the present.

    So I don't consider things like that which are completely out of her control.

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  • I would like to think most guys would be able to and both partners could adapt to the needs of the relationship.

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  • I am sorry but if you have been sexually abused you are damaged... wether you admit it or not... I speak from experience. Sex is something intimate and sacred, and the perversion of it does more damage than some would admit.

    As someone who has seen psychologists, been on all kinds of drugs and etc, only seeking God and allowing Him to work on my heart and soul and mind have made a difference... would you be willing to sit with me and pray about it, releasing your feelings, even if it feels shameful?

    You can carry the damage with you for the rest of your life. And it will destroy you and your ability to be happy. Moving past it is extremely difficult and even involves forgiving the person or people who did it to you. Only then can you experience true freedom.

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    • I disagree. And no thanks :)

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    • @promiscuous-petal God set up sex as the ultimate form of bonding between two people who vow to remain together for the rest of their lives. It transcends the physical and moves into the spiritual. I believe it has destroyed more people because it's done wrong, than has ever helped.

    • Religion is a mental illness, you sound sick in the head. Religious people like you are the reason the world turns to shit.

  • Yes I would. To be sure I would feel bad that those things happened to her. My wife was sexually abused when she was younger and she is still trying to get over it. I support her healing as much as I can, but it's not easy. Knowing that the woman I'm will is able to move past something like this would be a great sign to me that there should be fewer issues in dating her.

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  • I presently am. she was raped repeatedly by her father for 6 years.. it made her not want to open up as easily and sometimes shell shut me out which is annoying, but i just dont let her use it as an excuse. she doesn't try to but i just treat her like i would anyone else except for avoiding phrases like "OH SH*T I JUST GOT RAPED!" when playing video games and stuff. Very pleasent relationship though in every aspect, and once we got to that point in our relationship, she is consistantly hornier than me and i love it.

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    • Rape isn't the same as sexual abuse.

    • You're an idiot. She was physically and sexually abused for years and rape was part of it.

    • Yeah a huge idiot for not kbowing that rape also meant sexual abuse. Sorry for not being psychic.

  • Been there done that. I got to deep into the relationship, helped her and gave to her... she used me and left cold after two years.
    No I would leave her alone. She will be damaged and will probably damage you in the end.
    Up to you... but make her work for your friendship and more !

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  • Everyone in life has some sort of baggage in life. It is very unfortunate to have to experience it but it does not define you or defile you. You still have everything to offer to someone.

    Best of luck in the future and HUG!!!

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  • I wouldn't.

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    • @Asker

      Yes, Thad.

    • I meant that's* lol

  • I have. And if anything I loved her more for telling me. I perhaps didn't handle it well, as she told me the particular person responsible, and I put him in hospital

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    • He deserves that and worse.

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    • If you really want to know? He is so disfigured that he was put in witness protection. I'm not ashamed of what I did, and if I had the chance I'd finish it

    • Gosh I love you

  • I would as long as she was happy to be around me.

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  • I actually did, and she was damaged, and I helped her heal. Me, and her have moved on, and even though I miss her I am so glad that I met her (T. M. C), but I know she is still doing well today so that means I did my job which was to help her in the end regardless. :).

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  • I did, she ended up going out with a guy who played out rape fantasies with her and ruined all the work I did to build her self esteem back from nothing. If I ever see that guy I'll fucking kill him, bludgeon him with a chair if I have to, but he won't be alive even if he is in the marines.

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    • How did it ruin all the work you did to build her self esteem?

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    • Good for you, then. Maybe one day I'll be able to see it like that.

    • It's part of growing up, I'm still on that track myself

  • Yeah it wasn't her fault i been victim of abuse too so i know how it all is

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  • Yes if i like her. I dont see why not.

    Even of she was "damaged" i may be a guy to help her surpas that.

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  • Actually I did. She was raped. So... that answers your question.

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    • Was it like dating any other girl?

    • difficult to know. She was a pain in the ass to deal with but I don't think it was due to the fact she was raped. I think she was always wild. But I could be wrong, after all life experiences forge your personality.

      However I never had the impression she held grieves against men for being raped. She got over it pretty well and I always respected her for that. She didn't go ahead and hate all men or some bullshit like that.

  • I would but I would constantly be worried while having sex that I was taking things too far or upsetting her. After a while when you learn the boundaries it would be fine though.

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    • It's not like that.

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    • Depends on the girl. I've met girls who because of being sexually abused became very sexually promiscuous, girls who were afraid of being touched and girls who were able to move completely past it and not let it affect their lives in any way.
      Everyone reacts things differently I guess.

    • You are correct Asker. I have found that most women I have had sex with who were sexually abused early in their life were the best lovers of my life. Especially orally. It does something to them that affects how they think about sex through their lives.

  • Yes I'd be able to.

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  • Without any doubt
    Coz its not ur fault 😊

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  • Yes of course

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  • Yes I would why not. I be there to support her in anyway she wanted.

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  • Yes I would, my best friend who is a girl was sexually abused and molested by her stepfather

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  • I think my girlfriend is like that

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  • Yes, it might make me more protective of her though if anything

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  • I think you already asked this. Yes, I would date her.

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    • I never asked this?

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    • Many sexual abuse, rape (etc) victims feel that they're seen as damaged goods because of what happened to them. Also I've heard people say they wouldn't date a victim of sexual abuse because of the 'damaged' bullshit.

    • I also heard about those morons.

  • I was with a girl who got raped by her own father and we never had an issue

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  • Yeah. Why not? Would definitely date her if she behaves like a normal girl.

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  • Yes if i like her. I don't see why not.

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  • Yes, i would.

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  • Yes, I would provided she is not a drama queen or anything.

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    • That was a little random.

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    • Anybody can do that

    • You are right. So, yes I will date her.

  • Probably just if I know what happened to her is in the past and wouldn't be a problem.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 10

  • that was her past.. and obviously she had to control over it.. it is not like she wanted this to happen to her.. and any guy worth her time and love would not give a shit about all this.. he would be caring and supportive and would never talk about it.. unless she wants to discuss it or let it all out to him.. :)

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  • I have personally never had a guy be anything but kind and wonderful and amazing on the few times I've opened up about that part of my past.

    I seriously wouldn't worry. If he doesn't see that as a reason to give you MORE love then he's not worth your time. I know it may be hard to realize that tho

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  • :( I really hope that would have no impact on whether or not a guy would date a girl.

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  • you make your own destiny and she should not let it own her. instead of being known as the girl sexually abused and very tramautized, be the girl who was sexually abused yet did not let that define her.

    did you know cheryl burke on dancing with the stars was sexually abused and she is a professional dancer and is not letting her abuser run her life

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  • I just wanted to say love and hugs if this was you.
    I hope you can find a way to move forward with some happiness in your life.

    Peace xo

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  • i was sexual abused when i was a kid. Nothing is wrong with me. I don't go for life telling this. Nobody should know it if i don't want to share this part of my life. Is something that i keep very hide because i don't want to talk about it. I went to psicotherapy. Why are you asking? Is not your fault. Even if you are still damaged there are people who can love you for who you are, not for your past sufferings.

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  • yes i would. i would try to help her.

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  • Why wouldn't he? It's not your fault, it's not something to be ashamed about or anything.

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  • It is not her fault to be abused. If they do not date ; it is their problem.

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  • i wouldn't share that anyway... unless it was your husband or something

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