Girls, I have never had a girlfriend and I am 24. Am I a loser?

I graduated university exactly a year ago. when i passed at university 5 years ago, other people had financed 100% and i had to pay full... i wanted to be a physicist. i wanted to be improved and be the best version of myself. so when i was on the second grade or 2nd year student i started to work at the same university as at laboratory. i was working for 3 years and i had other jobs too during that 3 years... after that three years i had only left one job with low salary i have been working for a year. now i do not have that job... so, during that period of time i did not meet girls , or other people. i did nod socialize. i sucrifised my youth for lab, because i wanted to be a good scientisct. i did not get that either. the most i am concerned about is that i have been single for my entire life and i had chance at university to meet young hot girls and one of them became my girlfriend. now i am jobless and even my parents hate me that i have no job. i feel lonley. i feel no one loves me. what to do?

Updates:
by the way. every looser low grade guy can get at this university right now because i live in such country, university goes for money by the amount of students... i feel i am a looser...
how can i get a girlfriend? am i fucking looser?

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39

Most Helpful Girl

  • forget about the past... the what ifs will just ruin your life. If you didn't do it when you could have, thats fine, don't worry about it.
    You are not a loser, having a girlfriend doesn't make you a winner. But now, don't think about the things you don't have, go out, explore the world, meet new people, cuz you are never gonna find someone if you don't socialise

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What Girls Said 38

  • Based on your current attitude about it..

    Yes. Yes you are. and no, no you won't get one.

    The way you are carrying yourself and acting, if one didn't gravitate to you in class.. one won't now that things are in the hole.

    But... that being said... it doesn't have to stay that way.

    Find a way to change your attitude.
    Get out there and meet people.

    As you meet people, and you attitude changes, and your outlook changes, you will make friends, and either on your own, or through these friends, prospective girlfriends.

    But.. keep this attitude..

    #foreveralone

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  • You are NOT a loser. Give yourself a break. So what if you haven't had a girlfriend yet. You are not in a race with other guys, it's not a competition. You putting SOOOOOO much focus on never having had a girlfriend or thinking yourself a loser is putting a LOT of energy towards those very things. Do want this pattern to continue, because it will if you don't stop this way of thinking.

    Start altering your self-talk. Do it little by little. Whatever you tell yourself, make it something neutral at least. Then you'll start to feel better. Once you do, then you can start telling yourself positive things about you and believe them.

    Life is a process. You are figuring it out one day at a time. Lighten up on yourself. Realize right now that the more you beat up on yourself, the more you are hurting yourself. And the more you hurt yourself, the less desirable you are gonna be.

    You CAN go out there and ask girls out on dates. You CAN (and will) have fun on those dates. You CAN eventually find a girl who wants to continue seeing you regularly until you two become exclusive. But you gotta fix your thinking first because that is the wall that is blocking from getting what you want.

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  • No girlfriend doesn't make you a loser, being a loser makes you a loser.
    Women are not success itself, they are a consequence of it. When you are a valuable man women are attracted to it, because we want a man we feel we can rely on to provide for us, lead us and protect us.
    What makes you more than a loser is acquiring skills needed to be able to do that. Nothing else.

    Now, lots of women judge a man's worth subconsciously by how many women desired him in the past. It's our brain making shortcuts and going: "If everyone wants him, he has to be great."
    And you do have this "unspoken prestige" working against you, you're right. But that's only superficiality and if you have true substance, no one will care.

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  • I'm possibly in a minority, but I am much more likely to date an inexperienced guy than an experienced one... I have only had one boyfriend myself, so the idea an experienced guy freaks me out a little. Girls like me do exist, so what you think makes you a loser, might well be appealing for some girls.

    I would be a hypocrite if I were to say you are a loser... I do not think you are, anyway... and hey, don't worry about being unemployed. we all know how tough the climate is right now. I have a degree in English Lit... But I am working as a cleaner... Because that is all there is available to the mo.

    Have you tried joining some groups/clubs? It might be a chance to meet girls with similar interests. :)

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  • Listen, you just need to interact with people more. Work on your people skills.. you can get a girlfriend if you want.. it's good you put your dreams first and not a person. They let you down generally. And no you're not a loser! Of course not. Message if you need to talk :)

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  • Why are you being so hard on yourself? Having a girlfriend isn't some rite of passage or something. The right person will come around. I know it's cliché, but it's true. You have other things to focus on and you're doing a good job at it. When you continue to focus on other things, usually the unexpected happens.

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  • no, you're not a loser. I'm 26 and also never had a boyfriend because I've been busy chasing my own dreams. Well, maybe now's the time to start thinking what you really want to do in your life. you haven't got the chance to relax a bit I think. maybe a vacation would be nice. So you can think everything through with a clear mind while looking for a new job?

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  • You are a lower with that attitude. If you change it, you won't be. Yes, there is a change to improve. Just change the dam attitude, please. A girl doesn't find self-pity attractive.

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  • Its loser lol and no, you are not but focus, on getting a job first and bettering, yourself first. you will not be able to make anyone else happy until you are yourseld, relatiobshios are very important to me, and i personally know people who didn't meet until, there late 20s and they are very happily married dont give up hope dont be shy dont be scared of rejection and dont be aftraid to make mistakes.

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  • hmmm i think you were looking in the wrong place.

    Firstly, sort out some employment, maybe look in to a graduate position doing research. Then get social with some people where you work, the occasional drink and hang out where you will meet girls...

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  • Oh gosh, Why are you even concerned about what other people think of your private life?

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  • No of course not! you are not a loser. You can meet girls anywhere. Don't give up hope :)

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  • First of all you need to get back on your feet with looking for a job because not many girls want a guy with no job and no motivation to get one.
    Once you do that you may hit it off with one of your co-workers (which I do not completely recommend) or you will be able to attract a girl because you are able to show that you are independent and do not need her to take care of you.
    I have seen the struggle of not having a solid job after college but with motivation, a degree, and faith, you will meet the girl of your dreams.

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  • no ur not a loser. ur time just hasn't come yet, and that's perfectly ok.

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  • I admire you extremely for sacrificing your youth to chase after your goals rather than chase after girls... that is personally my favourite type of guy, don't listen to anyone but me okay? All my guy friends wasted their teen years chasing after girls too much and ended up working locally when they didn't want to... you are a great example of a man to run the race and not get distracted and go off track , consider yourself lucky you have stayed single because now you can still be focused until you achieve your goals, and when you do achieve your goals, your happiness and confidence will enable you to know exactly who you are, so you will may even have the chance to marry your first love! How lucky is that? You haven't found her and she hasn't come yet because you are too special, don't be ashamed but be proud because you have proven that you own yourself, you are not a loser, its the guys with all the exes that are the real losers

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  • Only if you feel like you are.

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  • You're only a loser of you believe yourself to be.

    Do you think you're a loser?

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  • Hey message me wanna talk?

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  • No definetly not. You just haven't found the one yet.

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  • despite this Q is closed, my honest opinion is.. do not stress over the fact that you dont have a girlfriend rn, everything will develop at the right time so , relax, you are not a loser at all based on a girlfriend or not , actually in my opinion its so much better to meet a boy like that! trust me us girls (most) we do like that, it means you have high standards!

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    • what do you mean in i have high standards?

    • Means that you dont settle w any random girl! Its a good thing

    • i did not even meet girls

  • Don't put yourself down

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  • You are a university graduate = DEFINITELY NOT a loser = HUGE UPS from me, a high school drop out in my final year b4 exams!!!

    (insert. smiling. envy. here)!!! xo

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  • Yes you are a complete nutter

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  • No you aren't I'm gonna be 24 in January and still don't have a boyfriend it's been awhile since I had one..

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  • I don't think you're a loser. You had a passion, and you wanted to succeed really badly. It's just really unfortunate that it didn't work out for you.

    Maybe you should try online dating sites? I'm currently using OkCupid and I've met decent people :)

    Hope things get better for you!

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  • no your not a loser you have plenty of my time to wait im 25 and I don't have a boyfriend and I'm single you should get a job first and think about your job first then u can a girlfriend

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  • You're not. A loser is someone with a girlfriend but doesn't make her feel like one.

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  • I will marry you haha

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  • Depends on the person

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  • Who cares? as long as you aren't losing money you're not a loser.

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