Can having sex on the first date hurt or help a relationship?

We had a great date and had sex within 3 hours of meeting. Does he think less of me deep down?

Updates:
I told this man I was in love with him after spending 9 straight days with him. Now, he has turned cold on me and I haven't heard from him in 2 days. Again, we had sex within 3 hours of meeting and he has introduced me to his lifetime friends and family within 9 days of meeting, plus dinner with his grandma on Sunday! I know this is fast but I fear I have scared him off for good. He is 46, never married, and I am 44 divorced. Any advice on what I should do is appreciated!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • you're a mature woman. At this point I really don't think it matters. You know what you want and you took it.

    However I will say this. Woman are caught in real cruel paradox when comes to having sex on the a date and staying in a relationship. She might give it up quick because she genuinely likes him as a person (along with physical attraction) This is one of the very few areas in life where women have my sympathy. Ugly truth is I become less interested in a relationship with a girl if she hooks up with me on the first date. Although I might keep her around for friends with benefits I really have a hard time getting serious with someone who gives it up so fast. At the same time I might try to charm and seduce her into doing it (my testosterone is screaming for it) on the first date... so guys are the assholes in this scenario. If she's equally attracted to me... that puts her in a bind as well. She might want it just as bad.

    Best bet is to hint around you are interested in the guy (maybe kiss and cuddle a bit) and maybe do the deed on the 2nd or 3rd date. 2nd date is also a little too soon. 3rd date is the charm if you are interested in getting a relationship in my opinion.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Depends on if you're a challenge to him, and which one is a trophy to him: You or the Sex.
    To the wrong guy, you might be easy to get. But to the right guy, he might think that you're easy to communicate with, and he would get more comfortable around you.
    It's a risk nevertheless, but doesn't hurt if you're absolutely sure. Personally, I'd rather go with 2 or 3 dates before having sex with anyone.

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What Guys Said 26

  • I've ALWAYS had sex on the 1st date (barring one) and things worked out wonderfully more all the while :) Well that's my personal experience, each one is always different from the other no matter how similar they may seem :)

    If he's something like me, he'll respect and adore you much more than a girl who probably didn't allow it though the chemistry existed.

    There have been times ofcourse where the date and I wound up being friends or maybe friends with benefits. All these have made these girls more respectable as far as I'm concerned cause they cut out the BS & came up with what they desired unabashedly :)

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    • that's because you are handsome. Girls rather kill theirselves than even fuck a guy who is not hot, especially on first date.

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    • I envy your dating skills.

    • ha ha I don't deem myself skilled on this count, just lucky :D

  • It really depends on the guy, it usually isn't so black and white.

    The guy could have just been with you for the sex, and got what he wanted faster than the length of Britney Spear's marriage. OR you two could have had a wonderful connection that culminated in the decision that you two are compatible. My brutally honest opinion on this however is that 3 hours is not a whole lot of time to know whether or not the person you're talking to you is compatible. Usually the rule of thumb is between 3-6 dates before getting down and dirty for most people I know.

    I would talk to him about it. Sex on the first date seems like a grey area to me, but being comfortable communicating with each other on your relationship is definitely something that should be established for a healthy relationship.

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  • it depends on him. Personally, I would think I found "the one" if we had sex within 3 hours of meeting. I like sex, and I would be thrilled to have found a girl who also likes sex. Yes, I understand that most women, on some level, like sex - but not as much as they like their 'image' or whatever..

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  • it just depends on the person. The best way to know is to ask him, if he is both intelligent and mature I'm sure he will appreciate the nature of such a discussion. I know I would. I believe that communication is the key to any successful relationship. If you want to know something ask. It will also tell you more about the person based on the response you get which will help you decide if this is the sort of relationship you want to pursue further. (Now I'm not talking about marriage just yet), but in all fairness if he welcomes this line of communication it is in my opinion a good thing, because it shows he is mature enough to understand where you are going with those sorts of concerns. We all have our insecurities, I would like to believe he would both appreciate this and handle the whole situation with the grace and dignity it deserves. I hope this helps :-)

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  • I expect he does think less of you , you made yourself look very easy and that isn't ever a good thing. Most guys that get in your pants that easy automatically think all guys get that lucky with you. But what has been done here can not be undone

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  • We don't like easy gilrs, it's a big turn off. What easy comes easy goes...

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  • I would think how many other guys have hit it after 3 hours, and how highly does she value her snatch...
    I would have serious doubts about long term potential

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  • I've done that recently, same thing. Within a few hours of meeting. I really don't think it makes a difference either way in getting to know one another in time. Enjoy yourself! I don't think he'd think less of you.

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  • If i were in his situation, i wouldn't even have had sex. I don't do sex on the first date, or second, or third... you get the just. It may be several months before i decide to have sex with a girl, because I've always been a firm believer of only having sex with someone i have a deep connection with - not someone i just met.

    But assuming I'm the type of guy who is down for sex on the firt date, I'd still look down on her for giving ut up so quickly.

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  • I have always thought it would ruin a relationship i know for me i wouldn't do it
    but i do not judge anyone who does it ,

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  • You had sex 3 hours after meeting for the first time? Whoa!!! That's a little too fast/quick, don't you think? What if he has an STD?

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  • It really depends on the couple. You can hit it off on the first date and sex on the first day can work and it can turn into a great relationship, if you guys are both looking for serious relationships and like each other that way. You sound mature and know what you want, and I'm assuming he does too.

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  • It's simple: we kill the Batman

    Depends of both of them :) If he's a womanizer, or she's a man eater, then everything will end really fast... I was only with the one night stand thing, but since I met my actual girlfriend, (and yes we had sex since the first night we met) I remained with her. I suppose you just have to meet "the one" who make you stop being selfish and actually love. Again, it depends... everything is a Russian roulette in life

    Just use condoms when you are having sex for the first time with someone ;)

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  • neither, if he likes you, he likes you, doesn't matter if you have sex on first date or not, but some guys might consider a girl who has sex on first date to be easy... but not me

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  • Very deep down.

    Actually it depends on the individuals.

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  • NO, SEX ON THE FIRST DATE MEANS NOTHING

    At your age you should understand this, damn society

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  • Having sex is a mutual thing, if he was against something like that he most likely wouldn't do it in the first place. Unless of course, he was only after that.

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  • 3 hours? Wow that was fast, I would never do something like that maybe after the first date I would but never on the first date.

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  • It should help a relationship. He should think favorable of you. If he doesn't, then he's either plagued by corrupt societal beliefs or some kind of mental disorder.

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  • it just is, the connection was obviously there and you both wanted to fully indulge

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  • For me it would hurt me.

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  • That's my kind of date, got any single easy friends like you?

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  • I'd say go oral for the 1st 2 dates and third times the charm 😊

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  • Me? If I have sex with a girl within 3 hours of meeting her she's FWB's material, not girlfriend material.

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  • If he were interested in a long-term relationship, he wouldn't think any less of you for that.

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  • Depends on the couple

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What Girls Said 10

  • Well in the 20's guys are USUALLY looking for girls that haven't slept with tons of men. They don't want easy. At least when they're looking for long-term relationships. I'm not saying guys care for virginity in their 20's. I think a lot of the time they look for relationship material in a girl that doesn't put out so quickly because it means she hasn't slept around much. It shows she respects her body. All the guys I've dated cared about that. I do know not all guys care though.
    I think that changes a bit with a few years. "Maybe mid 30's" it's less expected to be placed on an innocent scale (barely touched). He might just think it's been a while for you. Maybe it has for him as well. There was obviously a lot of sexual chemistry but if you got to sex within only 3 hours, that date was all about sex. You know nothing about each other but what y'all look like naked. So if you want him to look at you for more, then set up a second date and try to hold out at least until the end of the night. Shoot for like 5 hrs this time. Lol

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  • Within 3 hours? Depending on the guy.. his age (in general older men are not like boys or young men and don't lose respect for women if they have sex on the first date).

    But if you're goal was to get into a relationship you kind of went about it the wrong way. Unfortunately the majority of men, even if they complain that they have it so hard getting sex and all that crap, they still don't accept women to be very relaxed about sex. So women like you and I.. we are forced to play this game along even if we might not want to wait because we really like him and have a click and have this strong urge to have sex with this man we're dating.

    It really sucks and it makes dating not fun. You always have to question how someone will view you if you have sex on the first, second or even third date. It's so pathetic.

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  • It won't hurt or help it. If he's into you, then having sex won't make him not call you. If he's not into you then having sex won't make him call you. It really doesn't matter at all

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  • It definitely can't help.

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  • You guys are mid 30s? Well some men will just apprechiate it while others will think less of you and lose interest. It depends

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  • No..

    Just that you are very horny like him

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  • It really doesn't matter, it's just sex and does not determine anything about your future with the guy. Unless he's a judgmental asshole who judges you for being too 'easy'.

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  • if you see he is a relationship material, then don't do that...

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  • really you are how old asking this... its hurts the relationship

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  • It will almost kill any chance of a relationship. You are essentially telling the guy that you put out easily and have probably done so as well in the past. He will see you as more of a fun time than a long time, because why buy the cow when the milk is free.

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