Girls, What do you mean exactly when you tell men they need to have confidence?

I constantly hear women talking about how they are attracted to men who are "confident". It's all you hear about from women these days. But what the hell does that mean exactly? I tried to be "confident" like they say– I struck out every time. One girl said I was rude and weird. Another thought I was being pushy and presumptive; another's friend who was with her said I was a psycho. Clearly, something was lost in translation here. I interpreted this advice about being confident to mean I was confident/sure she was going to give me her number or go home with me. I even said that to them. I told them that I knew she was attracted to me; that I knew she was going to give me her number or leave with me. That was my "confidence" tactic and it totally failed. So ladies, please explain to me in detail what the hell you mean about being confident.

Updates:
Whoa, wait a second... THAT is what you ladies mean when you say "confidence"? THAT is what you girls are attracted to? Simply walking up to a woman and starting a conversation with her without making it known you want her sexually? That's not called "having confidence"; that's called being full of shit.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Confidence just means having the guts to approach and talk to her and then following up - if you have a great conversation then have the confidence to ask her out (not telling her she will go out with you). Have the confidence to call her when you say you will. Whenever you talk about what she will do for you that comes across as arrogant and controlling. And make the discussion more about her than yourself by asking her questions to get to know who she is.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Yeah no if a guy came up to me and said that I would think he's a dick, not confident.

    To me it's attractive if a guy comes up to me and isn't shy about telling me he's into me and either asks for my number or on a date and I can tell that if I say no he isn't going to act all wounded and butthurt. He's the type to shrug his shoulders and move on unfazed. That to me is an attractive level of confidence.

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  • Well you need to aim for girls who like you! Or at least could potentially like you! Then just do what you did but don't push it. Don't start right up lkke that!!! You need to talk to them and then get a little bit cocky and end up saying things like: you know what i'm good at? Kissing! And if she seems interested just kiss her, but if she rejects you then don't insist!!! Just let her go and get ankther one

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  • Confident is not the same as cocky or arrogant. Confident is someone who doesn't lack self esteem, who has respect for himself, and someone who can stand tall and defend himself when needed. Try toning down your version of confident and you'll do great :D chivalrous gentlemen can be confident too and that is a sure way with the ladies

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