Does he even WANT to get to know me?

WARNING: LOTS TO READ...

I've had my fair share of REALLY bad relationships in the past and this new guy treats me right. He cooks for me, he did my laundry when I stayed a few nights at his house without me asking, and he's been in love with me for two years. I didn't realize it back then, but he's everything I've always wanted and more. He treats me right, but I don't know how to respond to it... He promised to watch something with me (one of my favorite movies) which is rare, because he's obsessed with showing me EVERYTHING he loves in terms of music and movies, which I don't mind, because his taste in both is awesome... but never wants to watch or listen to the things that I like and have changed my life... I'm not asking him to enjoy them. I've met several of his friends, but he's not asked to meet any of mine... he's a wonderful guy and I don't wanna screw this up. I just feel like I'm getting to know this amazing guy, meanwhile, it's as if he's just skimming over the surface of who I am and doesn't really care to get to know me. So when he promised to watch one of MY favorite movies (for ONCE) I got all excited, but then his friend came over unannounced hammered and ended up sleeping on the couch... Why am I SO upset about this? I don't want to ruin this by acting stubborn or selfish... I've had so many bad relationships where they didn't care to get to know me at all and I'm extremely scared of that happening again. I tried talking to him about it tonight, but he was drunk with his unexpected guest...

Do I feel this way because I'm stubborn and selfish? If so, I'd like to know so I can change it before I get on his nerves, which he swears up and don't won't happen... Or am I just really scared of having a repeat of my last relationship? Either way, I want things to go right with this guy... Please help :-(


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think it's OK to feel that way. When his friend came over drunk, that was just bad random luck. That kind of thing happens sometimes. If it starts happening a lot then it's more of a problem.

    There is nothing at all wrong with wanting him to know you and your interests better. Just remember that some people ease into it slowly over time, while others rush into it. Neither is right or wrong.

    The thing that bothers me the most about this was him being drunk with his friend. OK, so you only mentioned drinking twice, and I admit I'm pretty biased here because of past experience. But if he drinks a lot, or his buddies come over drinking a lot, to the point that it interferes with your relationship, then it can be a real problem.

    Otherwise, I'd just wait and see how it goes. From what you said it seems too early to conclude anything. Give it time, maybe talk to him directly about it (hints don't count), and see what happens in the future.

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    • I think you are absolutely right Nearly Napping... It's too early to tell. I just don't want to yet again be in another long and drawn out painful relationship where both people are unhappy. I'd like to avoid that if I can

    • That's understandable. As they say, "Once bitten twice shy."

      I'm kind of like that with drinkers. I drink myself, but not heavily. But if I found out a potential partner drinks I'd have red flags going up all over. I'd be watching carefully to make sure it's completely under control. I do NOT want to go through that again.

      You had a lot of good things to say about him. So give it time and try not to be too apprehensive in the meantime.

What Girls Said 1

  • It's a tough one. I would say how I feel but at the same time he may just make it up to you another time.

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