Tips on dating someone that makes way more money than you?

I met this guy online and he unexpectedly asked me out to eat and i said yes and he was on his way from there. I was sketchy at first because I never been dating online before and he kinda looked like a model. But when he pulled up he was very real and looked even better in person lol. As we were on the date he started talking about how his dad is a dentist and successful businessman and how he was in his last year of med school. He's traveled all over the US and has even lived in many places in South America. He got a really expensive hotel after the date & we had sex, even though thats way too soon I just felt why not. I feel almost intimidated by him I come from a totally different background. I do have a job but i dont make nearly as much as him. He had at least 5,000 cash on him. We got along well and id never fake my feelings just because he's rich. But im unsure if we would even last since were so different

Updates:
Okay almost everyone amswering this question is just bashing me because I slept with him on the first date instead of actually trying to give me advice. He did not lie about everything to trick me into bed. He is not living off his father (he has a nice job & invests) I didn't sleep with him because of his assets but because I was sexually attracted to him & im single so why not? And for the people saying ill never hear from him again you're wrong we already made more plans to see each other
So I am still seeing him & things have been going good! Im realizing that he has flaws like everyone else even though he has money. There hasn't been any conflict about money & We haven't slept together since the first time, were just focusing on getting to know each other more before continuing with all that. I guess I was paranoid for nothing (:

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Most Helpful Guy

  • hmm, I wouldn't have had sex with someone in that situation, essentially, from a position of weakness and insecurity. Being dazzled by socio-economic status, is... very biological. I'm guessing, that his 'status', made you feel insecure about your status, that he may mention it or make you feel lesser about it, and that fear and desire to impress was driving much of your behaviour. As I say, it puts you in a situation of passivity, waiting for someone's validation, so it puts you in a bad position in any relationship. At his whim, if I wasn't clear.

    Also, as someone else said, he's not really rich, his dad is. We can almost certainly surmise he wouldn't have gotten into that position if not for his father.

    What to do, depends on you really. It sounds like you're trying to impress him, and you're still working within the 'socio-economic' status is actually meaningful, and determines a person's worth, paradigm. I can understand the bedazzlement, and perhaps it will take you the experience of him, and what it might teach you, to see it ain't all that. After all, what person ever learnt a lesson vicariously? :D

    "When you refuse to play the game, you are out of it.”
    ― Nisargadatta Maharaj

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds with this 'I met this guy online' This Time around here, dear, you Lucked Out and found him More in Store than you even bargained for and that you both share this great chemistry.
    From here on after, go slow with Joe. Yes, I feel too it was Jack Rabbit between the sheets with someone you didn't know all that well, and I have to also think that something terribly could have gone wrong. But there is always a Next time.
    However, no time like the present to Begin a fresh Beguine and take your time and nurse and nurture something that may be to your advantage.
    Opposites do attract and if you play your cards right the next time, 'Were so different' will make No... Difference.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 26

  • He played you and got what he wanted. It's unlikely that he'll contact you again.

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    • Crazy how you say that considering the fact he called today & scheduled another date

  • sounds like he played you.

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  • Well, let me go pick you up in my fathers 7 series bmw and book a hotel room as well.

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  • Are you sure he's in med school? Med school isn't a "job" and it's very time consuming. It's also extremely expensive and everyone graduates with $200k+ of debt, unless they're getting help from someone else. Don't believe me? Look it up. If he's living on student loans, then it's really irresponsible to carry $5,000 in cash and get an expensive hotel and invest, because interest on those loans is like 6%. Even after med school, there's residency, which means his salary for the next 3-5 years is going to be around median, almost all of which should go towards paying those loans (why would you risk investing when you're already bleeding 6% in loan interest?).

    Basically, what I'm saying is, those facts and numbers don't add up, and we need the full story on this guy.

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  • He doesn't, his dad does.

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  • Don't worry, guys don't generally care how much money women make. I'm not as rich as him, but I do make six figures and I've dated more than a couple of poor girls.

    Be yourself, and try not to let him intimidate you (he's human too.) Money is pretty meaningless if you have plenty of it. Finding a good, compatible partner is worth more.

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  • hey i would just play it happy and smile around him and not focus on the money cause being nervous can be contagious. Just focus on the fact he wants to see you again and likes you not the money cause in the end think about it he wants you to have the best experience he can give he will be happy as long as you are to!

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  • It could last. Lots of wealthy men and women are married to spouses who aren't nearly as rich. Jimmy Johnson (former football coach), Scott Adams, Jeff Bridges come to mind. I think Jimmy Johnson married his hairdresser, Scott Adams married a woman who worked in a restaurant he owned, Jeff Bridges married a woman who was working at a hotel where he stayed.

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  • Sounds like he already got what he was after, don't be surprised if he doesn't call you back. Sorry, hon

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  • Oldest trick in the book. It is over now.

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  • It is irrelevant, as with any one, just be yourself

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  • Yeah no normal rich guy would take you to the hotel. If it were me, I'd take her to my own place, but since he did not, it most likely means he has something to hide. You got played.

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  • Good for you. Damn... wish I had cash and looks. can't be hating on these guys for who they are. Look its one of those things where you just have to have fun and be confident that he likes you. When you go in guarded, its a self-fulfilling prophecy of relationship shit. Just go in like its a great relationship and enjoy it. If it doesn't work, rather have 100% fun doing it than 50% because you holding back. Either way, what will happen, will happen.

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  • What if the guy's net worth was worth a hundred bucks, would you still have went out with him?

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    • Yes, i found out about all this AFTER we agreed to go out.

    • Regardless you are elevating his virtue based on material things.

  • Most of the guys bashing you would jump at the chance of sleeping with a rich female model if offered

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  • Guys are not focused on how much money their date makes, unless they're flat broke and they want to leech off a girl.

    Guys with looks and money use it to date and sleep with attractive women.

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  • I think you would have lasted if you didn't had sex with him. Now he will think you are just some random person.

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  • Your just a root

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  • Good for you. There are possibilities that you are not the only one seeing him. Just dont have too much hope and expect the least, else you might find yourself emotionally torn apart.

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  • no, money doesn't matter, if he was willing to chat you up like that he doesn't care, i dont think anyone should

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  • Show him you don't need his money to be happy with him. Go on a date to a yogurt shop that is somewhat cheap don't ask to go t these really fancy restaurants until you both feel secure about the relationship. If he offers you can say yes but don't order three of the most expensive things on the menu

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  • It can work. My sister and I grew up without much money, usually just enough to get by. Last year she married A guy who is extremely well off and takes her on lots of trips and owns a few planes. From what I know, they never let their backgrounds get in the way.

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  • Yeah i think he got what he wanted , them guys who have lot money
    will treat you like a queen he will Wine and Dine you than hit the sack
    so sad the guy most likely has been with other females and he most
    likely is a player i wouldn't expect anything great to come out of this
    but then again i could be wrong ,

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  • If I was not so lazy I would post a prostitution meme of one about lying.

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  • Did you get paid for your services?

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  • It should not matter, and it would be a bad reason to break it off if you two really like each other.

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What Girls Said 17

  • I have a friend who's boyfriend is also pretty rich and she don't always know how to act. She's very proud so she don't accept when he want to pay for her trip or offer many gift. She lives her life by his side while still living according to her money

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  • If you were so intimidated, why did you fuck the guy? You make no sense.

    Just sounds like you banged him because he was hot and loaded. Not a single mention of his character in your story, just money and looks.

    The story is pretty clear here.

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  • You were not sure but you had sex with him? Now you are asking tips. I think it is late to ask for tips. You have already gone far.

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  • Won't lie, having a guy that can take care of himself and possibly you is a huge turn on, however you're not relying on him, and his money doesn't reflect who he is. You don't have to make the same amount as someone in order for it to work out, don't feel intimidated either, you deserve the best and if you end up together then great! x

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    • and possibly you? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT on this site

      Women want to be taken care of but fight for equality.

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    • Just look at his profile. He's a misogynistic troll. Don't waste your time, block him and move on.

    • @TheDevillnside

      The saddest part is I am actually a real person that has real opinions

  • It does sound like he played you for sure, he probably thought he could show off his lavish lifestyle and you'd spread it for him... which you ended up doing. If you didn't use protection you should get checked, there's some evil people in this world.

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  • Guys with money enjoy company, companionship, and sex just as much as guys who don't. They are human; having a fat wallet and a credit card with no limit doesn't prevent them from getting bored, lonely, or sexually frustrated. If he is with you, it's because he wants to be.

    He isn't worried about the money, so just go with it if it feels right. Remember that wealth is never a reflection of your worth. It's not a reflection of his worth, either, though. He might have questionable motives or morals, just like anyone else. Don't let his wealth blind you to that, and proceed with caution, just as you would with a man who had less money. But if it works out, just accept your good fortune and enjoy whatever happiness he brings you.

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  • Don't let money be a barrier to a possibly good guy. If money doesn't matter then don't let it be a factor in y'all getting to know each other

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  • I think u slept with him cos he's rich and good looking.

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    • You wouldn't ask this question if he was just having a regular job...

    • Great so your question is how to keep a man that rich and hot looking by your side? be your own person and know that money isn't a true reflection of a man's good character.

      I feel you are writing this here to tell GAGgers here that you've hit the jackpot and how you do keep him wrapped around your finger. lol...

  • Diamonds, gold and pearls get old.

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  • He could just be trying to be flashy to impress you. Med school students make $0 FYI. They actually have to pay A LOT of money so technically I wouldn't say he makes more than you YET. And when he does become a doctor that actually makes a lot of money, not very many people will make near as much as him so I wouldn't let any of that intimidate you. I wouldn't really expect a relationship out of him though

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  • Sometimes asking questions on here does more harm than good since a lot of people fail to understand the main concern lol.

    From what I understand from your story, I'm going to tell you this: just let it flow and stop overthinking things. He may care about the difference, but he also may not. You only had one date, right? Just try not to think about your difference and be yourself. Time will actually tell if the difference will be a problem between the two of you. I've been on your situation before and then later I asked some guys about it and they said things like that don't matter.
    Good luck! :)

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  • I know wealthy men who got welathy by legal work and illegal work (drug dealing kingpins) The only ones that carry a lot of cash like you describe are the men who are making major money by doing something that's against the law. The other men always carry platinum cards and never cash.

    Just sayin ;)

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  • Get use to being the beta to him

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  • Yup. Rule number one: never have sex on the first three dates... Well unless u really have the urge to get laid and u r not planning of seeing him again ;)

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  • Different isn't always a bad thing. You can maybe be new things he can teach and experience with you or something's you can teach him. Don't doubt. But if I may say, it was a bit soon for that. But I hope you see one another again. I think it would be something good to experience. You never know where it might lead.

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  • Sex on the first date? Slut.

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  • I wouldn't worry about it too much. Since you had sex with him on the first date if I were you I would not get up my expectations and assume things would go any further. I mean how do you know he was telling the truth about his job and patents? How do you know he was not saying that just to get laid?

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    • Because i did think he was lying so he showed me pics of him & dad & he is indeed a dentist. And his passport confirmed that he's been to all the places he said he lived & plus he had thousands of dollars in cash on him

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