I REALLY NEED ADVICE!!! should I tell him that I will wait for him like he asked me to or should I tell him off?

basically, this guy and i have a history but our timing never lined up. we met at a time when he was in a relationship and then he ended it with her to be with me. being that he was going to head to a dif college in the winter, he didn't want anything serious so he told me to forget about him and that maybe when he's in the right frame of mind at a dif time we can see what we have and get to know each other better. he contacted me out of the blue in April saying that he'd have liked to have seen me before we both left for our trips but that he didn't have time. we continued takling for the next couple of months and he basically asked me out for when he came home for 2 weeks before leaving again. unfortunately, things happened and he was unable to take me out. when i asked him what we do now he said we wait till he's home in December. i told him that id wait so long as he promises me because i can't keep getting hurt by him and he did promise. he hates online com so he doesn't wanna start a relationship off that way, basically implying little to no com these next few months. i told him that i dont like that and he said he'd compromise and maybe Skype a few times. but now that i look back on things, i realize that im settling here for what he wants. i dont want to wait around for him anymore because im better than that but im not sure if i should tell him this or if i should just leave it be and wait for him to message me. cuz here's the thing. im looking for a relationship with him, but im beginning to see that this is one sided. ya i know he's interested in me but he's said he's in no rush, meaning that im not a priority and that doesn't sit well with me. i get that he doesn't like online relationships cuz neither do i, BUT im not sure what to do here. do i message him and tell him that I've thought it through and that i deserve more than he can offer me. cuz what if everything goes well during dec and then he leaves again? do we go back to no com? thats my fear



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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't settle. But that's doesn't mean you forget about him. Tell him like it is. It seems like there is effort on both ends but I mean if you want to be together you should. Distance shouldn't mean anything. But I do agree that isn't how you should start things. But I mean you don't want to live life with "what's ifs"

    • i want to be with him and i know he's intersted in me and he even said he won't get a girlfriend in these next few months which i like, but i miss him tremendously. i was so excited to finally see him after 8 months and to actually see his face, hear his ovice and kiss him again, but it didn't happen and now i feel empty. like id be so thrilled to just hear him speak and see his face through Skype at this point. i feel like i need to see him in some form, but he doesn't even know what he wants right now. i know there's feelings on both sides, i just dont know what those feelings are and waiting 4 months to find out is going to kill me. i just dont know what to do

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    • also sorry for the million replies im posting haha. its just that for some reason even though you're a complete stranger, you're putting exactly how im feeling into words and you seem to get exactly how im feeling. but i must be crazy waiting for him. everyone thinks its a lost cause and sadly i know that thats probably what it is but i can't let myself accept that. i want him to know that im scared and that having me wait is a really big deal to me becuse im not sure he sees it that way. im scared that in the end he's going to hurt me again. im scared that he's not going to follow through on his promises, im scared he's going to meet another girl better than me while away at school and then ill be left heart broken. im scared that he's only going to want to see me once and thats it. im scared that if we hit it off and he leaves for school again, that he will be too scared to let me spend the summer with him out west so that we can really spend time together. should i tell him?

    • Wow so sorry about the late reply. But I mean don't consider it a lost cause. If it's what you feel like is the right thing to do then go for it. At least regardless of the outcome it will put your mind at ease knowing you feel you did what was right. And don't worry about being hurt. What ever happens you need to know its for. Reason. And you have to look at it that something better will come along. It always does. In order to find love, you have to be vaunrable to getting hurt. And it's one of the bravest things people can do emotionally. It's not easy. But how is going now. Again I'm sorry about the late reply.