Why do guys lose interest in girls as soon as they show emotions?

I've dated douchebags, nice guys etc. Why does this keep happening to me? Guys will be so into me and chase me for weeks, months etc but as soon as I show them I like them back they just stop liking me.

Wtf.. what do i do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • from that quick short explanation... i would say...

    + Maybe you were playing hard to get and not showing any little emotion back to them when they were chasing you... for months and more? some guys will become tired because he might not see any response from you or even a little and give up the pointless chase, only then maybe you started to show them but its too late?

    + Maybe the balance of the emotion you showed to them when they were chasing you and when you finally show your emotion back is too much? showed too much emotion quickly might make guys step back?

    + OR... maybe those guys are player, or just plain wrong in the head :D

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    • Maybe that's the case... But even then I didn't show too much emotions but that I finally like him back you know.

    • Bluest sky is quite right. You should evaluate or tell a male that would know and have him explain the issue. The hard thing is that without specifics, it is impossible to give a good reason.

Most Helpful Girl

  • This is what you do. You dont play games. Games attract guys who are insecure assholes. So before dating you look for guys you find attractive. You compliment them and the guys who are responsive to being treated with kindness and respect you date. The other guys, you créate a big mental trashcan that says, "Waste of my time".

    Next step ask yourself why you have these feelings and why you've expressed them multiple times to no avail. Maybe you want a loving relationship so badly that you experience these emotions every time you are dating someone who could potentially be "The One". When you start expressing these feelings and the guy hasn't developed trust in you and neighther of you guys haven't spent enough time getting to know each other, you are automatically put in the "Crazy Woman Who Wants Relationship but doesn't Really Know Me" category. So on this front you have to be very patient (spend time meditating) and allow him to show his affection through actions and then after a year of him doing nice things for you and you doing nice things for him, you can tell him how you think he is a wonderful person and that you love him and your words will have more credit to them.

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What Guys Said 20

  • Well no offence but they must be odd guys indeed, i mean that's kinda the whole point of a relationship to grow closer and show emotions so at least from my point of view if the woman i was with started opening up to me and sharing her life/emotions i'd very openly welcome that so no we aren't all that like at all, i guess maybe they were after a quick fix or a easy target not that you are but when you do find someone who cares for you and wants you then i suggest taking them any day because they're usually the ones who stick with you :)

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  • I have never had that problem with women. If you are saying "I love you" on the third date, that would chase most guys away.

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    • Why? Shouldn't guys be happy?

    • @FaithfulGuardian On the third date, you do not know a person very well. To love someone, you need to know them. If you say you love someone who you just meet, what is it that you love? You love something that you have created in your head, you are in love with the idea of being in love, and it reflects an attitude of desperation. It reflects a desire to possess someone, a. desire to complete a fantasy that you have planned in your head. No guy wants to be possessed. Guys who are ready for live want to be loved fir who they are and not simply because they can help you complete a fantasy.

  • Well you chase them back. It used to be if a girl picked you, you had to chase them more and be aggresive but more and more men including me withdraw because we want you to chase us back and let us know it's more then just playfulness or flirtation. That you actually care.

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  • Men's world is driven by logic.
    Women's world is driven by emotion.

    These two do not mix. They need to learn how to get along. Ever wonder why lawyers make so much money? lol

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    • ehh women need to relearn their place

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    • @dudeman alrighty then... this MUST be sarcasm... anyway, good luck to you and your totally modern way of thinking. You will make a fine husband one day (mercy on the poor womans soul who gets stuck with you)

    • @bomba78 not sarcasm at all. modern way of thinking is horrible for relationships, women, and children. women are less happy there are more single moms and messed up kids and far less stable marriage. have fun being part of the problem and not the solution.

  • The guys you are dating are they all roughly your age, say within a few years of you?

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  • The girls I've messed have ended up being emotional trainwrecks when they showed emotions. Maybe then again I'm attracted to crazy girls.

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  • ehh if i have to chase a girl im over it

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  • It's got nothing to do with your "emotions". God you're dumb.

    If it's not because you're a slut, and guys are only interested in you until they've had sex with you then it's because you're a stuck up bitch and they realize that constantly trying to prove themselves to you sounds more like hell than paradise.

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    • What the fuck is wrong with you?

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    • @ManThatKnewTooMuch if he is or isn't speaking the truth... in whose ever opinion. That sort of language and shaming is uncalled for and speaks a lot about his lack of character.

    • @tenchu11

      One can say it speaks to yours, or anybody's for that matter. He said what he said. You don't have to agree with it but you also can't expect everybody to be politically correct.

      What I noticed here is how quickly you find his comment insulting, it seemed like you were more focused on the word vomit than the message that was being behind it. I get that you don't like that kind of verbage but you can't just disregard opinions and thoughts on a whim. That doesn't get anything solved.

  • Maybe because you have a bad habit of showing too much emotion that they dont know how to respond.

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  • Perhaps it's because you drop an emotional bombshell instead of slowly showing more and more emotions over time?

    Beats me.

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    • Nope definitely not..

  • Most guys only what things they can't have, stupid I must agree, but don't worry you are doing nothing wrong. It will take the right guy to find out just how amazing you are, so either just wait and find the one, or just try and show less emotion when talking to a guy of whom you like.

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  • Breaks my heart to hear this. I don't really know, to be completely honest. Maybe because you might be coming off as too vulnerable for their liking. Still mean, though.

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  • Maybe they're afeaid of commitment... I don't know. Some of them might have been into you at first but, then lost interest since it took a while to get you attention and return of feeling.

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  • comiment issues guys dont wanna be tied down to a single woman

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  • I wouldn't do that if a girl ever liked me.

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  • I'm sorry but those men are very shallow. I hope you will meet a guy who genuinely cares for you one day.

    Make sure you have something in common though - a relationship based on physical appearance never lasts long.

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  • Continue to try. It is all you can do. Just it.

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  • I like emotions.

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  • The term "nice guys" has so much stigma attached to it that it's just pointless unless a woman uses it. I would love it if a girl showed emotion towards me. The few times it has happened in a dating context, it made me excited. But coming on too strong, too early can make a guy uncomfortable, and girls just don't seem to be able to understand this.

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  • The problem is that you are dating little boys. What is this "chasing for weeks"? If a man finds you attractive, he will ask you out, not in "weeks", but immediately. The date might even begin that instant if you are both free, or if not, just as soon as schedules allow.

    My suggestion is to look for men who are more mature so they won't be playing silly insecure games.

    And don't get hung up over this "liking" stuff. If you like the guy, sleep with him, and if not, then end it and find someone else. Don't waste your time or his.

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What Girls Said 11

  • I've had this same problem. So much so that I basically now have a hard time of showing my emotions to a guy out of fear. I'm afraid because in my one relationship it was so discouraged and that happened for 2 years so I'm sort of brainwashed into thinking it's not okay.

    But I know deep down that in healthy relationship you have to show some emotion. I think you just haven't found the right guy yet. As soon as a guy does this, write him off. He's not for you!

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  • It's because guys at your age are looking more for the chase and easy sex. They just pretend to like you to get you in bed, and after that they want nothing to do with you because you've already given them all you want.

    If you eat a chocolate bar you're not gonna keep the wrapper, are you?

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    • He was 26

    • He knows you're young and inexperienced so he knows you'll fall for his tricks.

  • Not all do but some guys aren't with the girl to get serious. If he didn't let her know beforehand what he wanted tod o, then he's an ass in my opinion.

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  • If they're chasing you for weeks, months, etc., then you're ALLOWING them to chase you, which implies some kind of distance being kept on your end. Otherwise they're not chasing, they're dating or hanging out with you. Given that, guys who would Chase for an extended period of time are getting what they want from you and then leaving when they stop getting what they want. These guys want the chase, they want to win, and then they want to move on. If you're actually dating them and then they leave when you show emotions, chances are good you've got an anxious-preoccupied attachment style and you're seeking out avoidant attachment styles. Try reading up on this. Jeb Kinnison's website has good summaries.

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  • Maybe you showed emotion too strongly and they weren't use to it so they freaked out. I guess they liked the way you were before

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  • Well this happend exactly to me, the first 6 months he really wanted me said sweet things , thought I was so cool and interesting etc. it after 6 months he just says it less and less I basically have to ask him " do you think I loook pretty today " I'm kinda like fishing for compliments.,.. They get into a comfort zone and it really sucks...

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  • Lol this would help me , cause the fact that I'm always the one who loses interest lol once a guy shows me he's into me, that's my cue to go 😂😳

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  • Guys like girls who are practically robots. pshh.

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  • Your question doesn't make sense. First you say you've dated, then you say they are chasing you & they stop liking you once you show emotions. Something is missing in this equation.

    Either you're dating them, meaning in a relationship & you show to much emotion to soon, which runs them off.

    or

    They are just flirting with you & once you start showing emotions they leave you alone, because they were never really trying to date you just playful flirting

    or

    They chased you to sleep with you & now that the deed is done, they dump you

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  • Maybe they don't like you once they got to know you.

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  • I've had this happen a few times. It seems they thought they wanted a relationship, said all the nice things in the beginning, but when the time came to get more serious they stopped. Either they realized they are not in fact ready for a committed relationship, they are immature, or they played you.

    Those are the 3 types of guys I've encountered, there are other types... like the ones that are ready to commit. But I have not dated that kind yet. One guy actually told me he did like me but wanted to sleep with other women still so I noped right out of that one.

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