I need serious help. I'm 6'4", 21 yo, and on a downward spiral because I feel like women find me ugly. How can I get out of this?

The OP pretty much summed up my thoughts. I was in an all-boy schools for all of elementary and high school, which I think fucked me up a little bit socially. I'm now entering my final year of university (co-ed) in a bit of a rut. The only dates I have been on were last summer, and they were all girls I met off tinder. Haven't been on a single date this summer because I just don't get matches anymore due to my looks. The few times I have tried to set stuff up off of OKC, the girl has flaked on me, not texted back, etc. - that happening again tonight is what made me write this post. I have been quite depressed over this kind of thing for a while now to the point where it seeps into everything I do. Definitely try put on a happy face when out in public/with people, but deep down I really am quite frustrated. I've made conscious steps to watch my posture, walk with purpose, smile at people more. Nothing. I've come to the conclusion that women just aren't attracted to me on any level. For people who haven't experienced this bullshit, it's a terrible feeling. Being this tall my mind has jumped to the conclusion that there's just seriously something wrong with me - maybe it's my face, my demeanor, my build (I'm tall and skinny). I never get complimented on my appearance, when girls do look at me they usually give me a dirty "I want nothing do with you" look, and all around give off an extremely negative vibe around me. Tall stature makes literally no difference whatsoever to me; in fact I'm starting to consider whether it may be a negative due to being black. Maybe if I was some white dude this height would be a huge advantage? Just had to get this off my chest for the hundredth time, because I'm on a downward spiral right now where I'm almost at the point of simply disliking women. This unique life experience shows how negative experiences CREATE the condition for low self-confidence. It's no wonder then that I can't approach girls - I receive NO external validation like a lot of y'all, and it's just impossible to shake the feeling that the majority you encounter already have something against you.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You appear to be lacking confidence. Internal validation is were confidence originates. You need to believe in yourself and others will too, including women. How, by building on the successes you have had in the past and knowing that you are educated and will have a great future and have a lot to offer.