Okay long story short... my ex girlfriend and I broke up about a year and a half ago. It was mutual as we were both in different places in life and the timing just wasn't right. We both mentioned we would be open to revisting it in the future if the right time/place came up. We didn't speak for the first 8 months or so and then just exchanged pleasntries over the holidays, etc. She recently moved much closer to me and we have been in contact much more frequently over the last month. She had been dating someone else for about a year now. So now that she lives closer I decided that I was going to ask and see if she wanted to go grab a a drink or coffee as its been a long time since we had seen each other. Thought it would be nice to catchup. I texted her and got no response... weird. She texts me the next morning that she was sorry that she didn't respond and that she's going through a breakup...
Like I said we said were both open to idea of revisiting a relationship but I don't want her to feel like I'm asking her to go out for a drink immediately after she told me she is single lol. Even if we did give things another shot we would take things slow and get back on more of a friendship level before we took it further. Like I wouldn't consider this going on a date, but can see how she could think that. Ideally I'd like to just get together with her and have a good time, catchup and see if things still click like they used to. If they do then we go from there.
So how long should I wait before I ask? Like would 3 weeks since she told me be good? I have given her space since she told me. Also I she made her breakup seem like it was in the works over the past month but that it just happend last week.
In the long run I really have nothing to lose but just though I would get some opinions before going through with it.
- Ask her right away80% (4)50% (1)71% (5)Vote
- Wait 3 weeks to ask her?20% (1)50% (1)29% (2)Vote
- Wait at least a month before I ask her?0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
Most Helpful Girl
Wait a couple weeks and then ask her. If she's still not ready just tell her to give you a shout when she's feeling better :) If she feels for you she will :) So don't worrie so much. Things are gonna work out how they should be.0
Most Helpful Guy
I would say about two weeks after a breakup or more as needed, but in your case you may want to wait to see if you still click.
When the time comes around, I wouldn't specifically suggest a relationship, but instead just make your feelings known. Go halfway, so that she has to do the other half.
Yes or No questions are easy to answer impulsively, but having her come to terms with her feelings for you and to bring them forward takes much greater deal of effort.
And if the feeling isn't mutual, then you are just being honest and didn't want to hide it from a friend.0