May have done something bad?

My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship only by 3 hours. So a couple weeks back when I went to home ( we are from the same home town) to see her and to pack stuff. She blindsided me about how she is unhappy and how I always say I dont feel like she is trying in this relationship. She was talking about taking a break and how she didn't know if we would get back together or not. I suggested that we try another month and I have stuff that I wanted to work on in the relastionship. She agreeded on this. So this past weekend when she came to visit, I read some of her text messages. She was in the shower and I read some of the messages from this one guy. My hand started to shake and heart beat faster.

He was talking about how he wants her to be truly happy and how close they have gotten these past few weeks. He hopes she feels the same as he does about these past few weeks. He understands that she wants to give it a chance with me and respects that.

I haven't told her that I know any of this stuff, I kinda supectted something was going on with him and her becuase, I caught her in a lie ( I didn't call her out on it) and she was also telling me a lot abiut him and stuff.

What do you think I should do? Was it wrong of me to go threw her phone?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I like to think a lot more deeper than people usually do.

    Snooping is disrespectful. However the only thing that matters (to me) are your intentions. Did you:
    1) Look into her phone trying because you're suspicious (or)
    2) Found out about the guy because you just unintentionally saw it

    If you're purposely snooping, it already means both of you have no trust in your relationship. And that's already a failing relationship. If you *really* just stumbled across her messages with the other guy, then she's a bit more wrong here since she has a foot on the path to cheating (or maybe she'll break up with you first then get with him, either way it's fucked up)

    So to answer your question, it's wrong if you were legitimately snooping with the intention to catch her.

    And in my opinion, if it's already at this point, it's really just downhill from here, but of course it's possible to repair and replenish a dying relationship. Trust and communication are key ingredients.

    I actually think that you shouldn't try to replenish a dying relationship because you guys got there in the first place. Then again, relationships can have their ups and downs and I'm not you, I don't know the whole situation, so you do you, buddy.

    • I looked because the last time she was up she kept texting him while we were watching a movie and stuff. But what I think Im going to do is ask her how she thinks we are doing since that talk we had those few weeks back and just check in on how we are doing you know. And just leave out the stuff I know.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You messed up snooping through her phone... however she fucked up even more... save yourself from hurt and break up through text... I understand its low but at this point you can't handle it.


What Girls Said 1

  • She did smth wrong not u , tbh it can be stressful being in a ldr and feeling lonely may lead the girl to want to talk to other guys especially if you two fight anyway the best way is to talk about it dont tell her u went through her phone she may find it a good excuse to break up with u right away just ask her " baby is there smth wrong? Do u love smone else now or u like someone else? " etc things like that until she open up if she doesn't work on making her feel loved and less lonely i think she loves you and she wants to give u a chance ^^ im in a ldr and the time difference is 8 hours my boyfriend got far from me emotionally once and i asked him those questions and we communicated and it got better so communication is the key :) wish u the best and keep this inmind " If its supposed to happen it will happen " so no matter the result be happy ^^

    • Yeah what I think Im going to do is ask her how she thinks we are doing since that talk we had those few weeks back and just check in on how we are doing you know.

    • I wish you good luck ^^

What Guys Said 0

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