I left a blind date because of the way she treated her dog?

I met a girl from POF and we went out on a first date. She recently adopted tiny yorkie from an elder who was too old and disabled to take care of it any longer. I said it was ok for her to bring it with her as we hung out. She was a nice girl with a pretty accent. But what grossed me out was the way she treated that thing. Whenever she picked it up, she would grab it by the collar and lift the poor thing off the ground. She did it more than once and by the 3rd time she did it I yelled at her big time. You don't fucking pick up a dog like that! How'd you like it if I picked you up by the neck you fucking cunt! She was stunned. She said she wouldn't do that ever again. This is the first dog she's ever owned and I know all dog owners have a learning curve they need to adapt to. But my god this should be common since not to strangle an animal by the collar like that. Does she deserve a 2nd chance?

Updates:
I must add that at the moment I yelled at her, I didn't fully realize she was a new dog owner. Sure it was a new dog for her, but I did not grasp that this was the first dog she ever owned.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't give her a second chance. Animal abuse is a serious thing.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You sound like a total douchewaffle. What seems like common sense to you isn't necessarily common sense to someone else. For instance, I think it would be common sense to help out a new dog owner by kindly pointing out that picking a dog up by the collar is probably not the best thing to do and then show her how to do it. I wouldn't think it would be common to yell at her and call her a fucking cunt, but apparently that is common sense to you.

    The good news is you now have a perfect way to determine if you should go out with her again. If you ask her out again and she willingly says yes you should immediately dump her because she is likely a few bricks shy of a full load after the shit you pulled. If she insists on an apology from you then you might have a keeper. Good luck!

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What Girls Said 8

  • I think you have crazy anger issues.
    Obviously she's not bright - choking the dog as she's picking him up - then why did she not educate herself?
    I think she wouldn't want to see you again because of those issues you obviously have... and I can't blame her. She will learn to take care of the dog - hopefully - but you probably won't learn how to treat people the way you should.

    You should've said something right away so she would stop doing that and you wouldn't have exploded with obscenities at her the third time she did it. Could've saved yourself and the dog some unnecessary trouble.

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  • Well, if I were you, I wouldn't give her a chance. I can't stand people who treats animals poorly. Ugh
    BUT, calling her a cunt was too harsh

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  • Ummm... while i can understand your feelings on the way she picked the dog up (I hate that too), I think your reaction was over the top. If a guy I just started dating ever yelled at me and called me a f***ing cunt, I would never speak to him again.

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    • Agreed. Although for me, it wouldn't matter if it was our first date or our 50th wedding anniversary--call me a name like that, and we're through. Everyone deserves more respect than that. The 'c' word happens to be among my least favorite of all words. Granted, not all people feel that way, which is fine I guess.

      As for the dog, hopefully it was a lesson learned, and she will be a bit more kind to it and careful with it from now on.

    • Show All
    • True! I wouldn't either. At least not on purpose.

    • @crystalt70 @MargaritaPeach I guess witnessing idiotic treatment of animals brings out the worst in me.

  • i would be surprised if she gave YOU a 2nd chance after those names you called her

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  • "... you f*****g c**t..." That was way too harsh.

    You could've simply said that in a calmer tone.

    Perhaps she really didn't know much.

    As for a second chance... I don't get the feeling of computability.

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    • Yeah you're probably right. I don't think we're compatible anymore. I have a personal hatred of animal abuse and idiocy, and she didn't like getting yelled at.

    • BAHAHAHAH ma other half 💏

  • She does, you don't. I don't think how she was treating that dog was okay, but did you correct her NICELY before calling her a cunt?

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    • Well early on in our date, she let me hold the dog and I picked him up off the ground the right way. But honestly how does picking up anything by the collar make any sense? I don't think we're compatable after all. If I have to tell this girl not to pick up an animal by the throat, there's probably a ton of other things she hasn't figured out yet.

    • You're not wrong that it's not a hard thing to figure out, but for all we know that's how the woman she got him from used to pick him up. She didn't know how not to hurt an animal, and that IS a bad sign. But you don't know how to talk to a person in a way that isn't Horrible, so that's a bad sign, too. Maybe you should both learn a bit before you get into relationships.

  • She may have been ignorant and insensitive about how to pick up a dog, and was therefore abusive to him. But you were mean and insensitive to your date and behaved cruelly towards a woman because of your abusive reaction. You don't stop abuse with abuse, especially when the person may not have known the correct behavior. You wouldn't even talk to a misbehaving animal like that! Especially one who was learning something new.

    She may have only had experience with seeing cats carry their young by the scruff. And her being concerned enough to bring her dog on a date shows she's not out to harm him. Many rational people may feel just as angry with how you treated her as you claim you were angered by how she treated the dog.

    I think you were more angry than necessary because you felt you should've alerted her about how she was lifting him when you first saw her do it, (you felt shame/guilt) because it makes you feel like you are participating in animal abuse. so to make up for it (subconsciously) and prove to yourself that you care about animals (and also scold yourself), you overdid it and ended up abusing the woman in public. Oh, and the dog had to also witness the yelling/cursing as well.

    Peaceful, loving people communicate in peaceful, loving ways. You seem to think of yourself as a person that cares about the wellbeing of others, people or animals. If that were true, you would acknowledge that your way of speaking to her was unacceptable.

    If I were you, I would wish I handled it better, and would've taken the opportunity to teach her kindly after letting her know that what she was doing was dangerous without spewing curse words and judgements at her. Even if you had done that, it would've been hard for you to get over what you saw in the first place to want to see her again. But now, because you berated her, you not only owe her an apology, but you're obligated to direct her, kindly, to proper dog caring/ training resources and wish her luck.

    The last question you posed should be more concerned with how unacceptable you were than how unacceptable she was. Any self respecting woman would promptly decline your invitations to get a second chance from her after how you handled, what was likely, an honest mistake she committed.

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    • Thanks for your psychoanalysis. It's mostly accurate. I didn't realize she was THIS new to dog ownership until after I got angry. The truth is that I grew up witnessing my distant family members abusing and neglecting animals, like spinning cats around on swivel chairs as they hang on with their claws at mach 3 speeds and other senseless acts of cruelty I can't even share with anyone. Animal cruelty is a subject that does not sit well with me and I may have some ptsd from it. I just wrote her a PM on P. O. F and explained myself and apologized.

    • It really warmed my heart to read that. I'm actually proud of you.

      Yes, it struck a deep cord with you. Also, because of what you witnessed growing up feeling powerless to what you saw, you took all that pent up anger out in that moment on her. On the date, you said to her, perhaps, what you wished you said to the original abuser, as well as beating yourself. So Forgive.

      The thing with PTSD is that it shows up especially when we are being vulnerable in interpersonal relations because we're scared of reliving the trauma. What makes us different from abusers is that we take full responsibility for our actions and try to mend.

      You have greater self-awareness now I think you should be proud of that. PTSD is real, it hurts, and it haunts. I empathize that you are still dealing with it, but I promise you it gets better with awareness. You want it to work for you, not against you. So acknowledg/manage* that. being aware of this can save you & others from unnecessary pain in the future.

  • I think you're over reacting a bit don't u think? Maybe she feels very sorry for that poor animal just like u...

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    • Maybe I did, but seeing animal abuse hits a nerve with me due to my personal experiences seeing people do cruel things to house pets.

    • I agree with you. But maybe she is not experienced much. So why don't u show her how?

What Guys Said 7

  • Hypothetically, if I had been in your shoes, I wouldn't have done either of the following:

    1. Continue the date.
    2. Yell at her and call her a "c*nt."

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    • When she picked it up by the collar the first time, I was in denial of what happened and assumed it was an accident. But she kept doing it. What would you have done instead?

    • Honestly man, lots of people are giving you hell for the "cunt" thing, but I'm an animal lover too. I can understand why you had a moment where you lost it. It's not something I personally would have done, but I kinda get it.

      Hmmmmm, what would I have done? Hard to say. I'd probably start off with something like, "you know, when you pick your dog up like that you're basically strangling him/her and you can break his/her neck or back doing it."

      If that didn't work out then I honestly don't know for sure how I'd react. The more I think about it the more I understand you losing your shit.

  • No and you need to take that dog away from her today

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  • Lel u shouldve juz chill and give her a life lesson on how to handle dogs. If she still does that, than u can finally make ur decision but as u said, she won't do it again so that shouldn't be the reason for u to leave unless she abused dat poor animal once again. Teach her how to handle dogs.

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    • Now I wish I would've done just that; show her how to hold a small dog the right way. I assumed it was all common sense to pic up a dog by the underside with both hands. It bothers me how idiotically abusive some people are with animals though.

  • Dude I give you mad respect for going out with someone with a disability

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    • The girl wasn't disabled. Maybe in the head though.

  • I don't think I would give you a second chance for getting so worked over something as trivial.

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    • Idiotic mistreatment of animals is NOT trivial

  • yes, that is a little overkill of a reaction I think

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  • LAMO. Well you could've handled it in a nicer way.

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