I don't want him to feel like he can't move in with these people but I really think it's going to destroy our relationship. He's always going to want to hang out with them and there will be no privacy for us. Then these people have million people at there house all the time so it's like one big party. Which that's not my scene. On top of that there is always underage people there drinking and whatnot so I'm nervous the neighbors calling cops on them. And I don't want to get in trouble for dumb shit like that. Also I can't stand the thought of having sex because everyone will hear us. So I don't know what to do and don't know how to approach him about my feelings about it? He's wants to move in with them because the rent will be cheaper but it's just a terrible idea.
I've been in his shoes before, and honestly, it is probably because I didn't love my ex as much as to get a place with her. However this time around, I've gotten over my feelings of moving out with roommates and couldn't be happier than to be with my one and only. But that's just me.
"there is always underage people there drinking and whatnot" NOPE! NOPE! Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope! BIG red flag right there, and nothing you wanna get caught up in.
And on top of the lack of privacy and you just generally being uncomfortable with the situation, this doesn't sound at all like a good idea. Unless you two are REALLY squeezed for rent at your current place, don't move in just so your guy can have some extra money to buy video games and junk food or whatever.
You need tell him unless he decides what he wants to do that your taking a break from him for while cause you don't want feel; like your second best in his life and that's what will happen if you don't lay the law down with him honestly you can't let him take advantage of you cause he will do it.
Just be honest about it. It's not that you don't trust him or something, it's just that you think it is a bad idea and, if he is into you, he will consider what you are saying. If he isn't willing to listen to your honest concern about something... time to move on anyway. Hope this helps!
Here's what I always do in situations like that. I make my girlfriend aware of my concerns once. If she goes ahead and makes the decision anyway, I have to reevaluate whether I still want to be in the relationship.
My boyfriend is living with his friends at the moment and it's not a problem at all for us.
There will be privacy for both you, in his room or you both could go out dates. As for the cops problem, maybe just don't go around to his place when people are underage drinking. With the sex thing, you could just try and stay quiet or wait until everyone is asleep or out of the house. Or just get over the fact that people will be able to hear lol.
At the end of the day, it's his decision where he wants to live, so if he wants to live there I don't think there's much you can do about it.
You should let him experience his life. If you force him to make a different decision he might resent you for it. You can tell him yuo're not all that crazy about it, but he's free to make his own decisions. But I don't know.. it also seems like guys like controlling girls.. so maybe don't listen ot me.
You want to air your opinion w/o consequences? I want superpowers. Do you not see the obvious? He cares little about saving rent money = smoke screen... and you're BUYING it? He has blatantly posted for all to see his preference for this lifestyle OVER what's he's got now with you. Ergo, he's MADE his choice, KNOWS your opinion and easily RISKS losing you (betting you might last awhile longer.. until he knows for sure if he can have his cake & eat it too... ala my first sentence about you).
Either you fit into this lifestyle... that might mean in bed FFM with him or you run away, hoping he'll follow... he won't, at least now right away for the temptation of this new life MUST be sampled.
He has gone hedonistic on you and your words will not kill this idea. Even if you offered a private love nest, never say NO to anything sexual.. he WILL visit this place often to sample...
ME? I would work this one of two ways to MY happiness, since he cares little about this. a) I would shop a replacement boyfriend pronto and not communicate ever again w/him b) I would network his new buddies and lifestyle, mining out a better life/friends for myself & leave him with his tongue hanging out wishing he had me back... but I can live with someone that makes such horrible decisions so often BYE, guy!
He must be aware of what will happen to the relationship if he moves there. Like Ttnguy07 said, I think he knows and unfortunately he doesn't care. He probably thinks it will be fun. If he wanted to preserve your privacy, no doubt he would try harder to find a better place.