I'm just curious about your opinion on relationship sites like eharmony, match.com, etc. How do you feel about it? Would you ever use one? Have you used one? What were your experiences? Would you ever encourage/discourage someone to use a website?
Most Helpful Guy
I think no matter how creative the marketing departments of such sites (or even speed-dating events, etc) get; there will always be a social stigma associated with them.
Guys and girls know that such places have the effect of attracting and filtering "IN":
- Women who nobody else wants
- Women with past failed relationships
- Women with emotional and/or psychological problems
- Women looking to get married before they get too old and nobody wants them
- Men who are dating losers (unattractive, broke, lazy, jerks, etc)
- Men who are just looking to hook up or have sex
- Men with emotional and/or psychological problems
- Men who are divorced, and too busy with kids and/or work to have time to date (or a relationship for that matter)
I guess when you look at it this way, there's really no difference at all b/w such sites compared to let's say:
- A club
- A bar
- Any other social gathering serving as an excuse to interact with the opposite sex (or same sex)
After all, if you really sit there and think about it, and really analyze and dissect the living sh*t out of "WHY" we're motivated to:
- dress up
- look good
- go out
- be social
- go to parties
- go dancing
It's our unconscious mind trying to expose us to the positive risk of meeting a suitable mating & life partner; and our sub-conscious and conscious mind kicking in and saying; "yeah, but I don't want to actually APPEAR or LOOK as if I'm LOOKING. I always want to have the safety and security of going back to some excuse; like"
- I don't dress up for attention or to attract the opposite sex, I dress up for me!
- I don't work out to be more sexually desirable to the opposite sex, I'm an athlete, trying to stay healthy, have body dimorphic disorder, and/or narcissistic personality disorder!
- I just want to go dancing and have fun! But those nuns or all-girl dance studios (you know, like the 100,000 located across the country, because they're so popular) are just not as fun as the ones with guys there.. But I'm just there to dance and have fun! I swear!
We get it. People want to hold onto some excuse, that makes sense, is appropriate, believable, and they can use to justify their actions and deny/mask their real motivations for their behavior.
So when people come into an environment where they SURRENDER that excuse; naturally, a very appropriate question pops up that the marketing departments for sites like Match.com have yet to give a good answer to:
- Why would you be willing to SURRENDER that excuse on here, instead of go to an other environment that still allows you to pretend you're not actively looking for a mate & life partner?
When any one of these sites or events discovers an appropriate answer to that; then such environments will actually be the perfect, most optimal and time-efficient way of meeting potential mates & life-partners.
Till then, bars, clubs, weddings, parties, events, etc.. are still open for business.1