Am I being too nice?

I mean.. I can't help it. When I really like a guy (this one I've been talking to for quite a while and seeing for a couple months), I become (more-or-less) very laid-back and agreeable... it just takes a lot to bother me and I honestly if we're together I don't care what we're doing because I enjoy his company. I also try to be supportive, and I always offer/pay for dates (it takes him almost an hour to get to my house with traffic so I feel like that's fair?). I respect his need for space since he's busy, and usually wait until he reaches out to me first (text or Facebook), but sometimes I feel like I'm more invested than him and that he doesn't seem too into it (our conversations are very tame- he usually just gives me an update on something he saw or whatever and never asks me questions).

He used to ask me out to public places, but now we just hang out at my house and if we go somewhere I always have to think of something. He said early on that he was afraid of making a mistake and scaring me off and of me getting sick of him, but.. he doesn't show any real interest other than being physically affectionate/cuddly. He seems really distant and anxious and doesn't talk much at all.


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What Girls Said 1

  • You are more invested in this and you are putting in more effort. That's not fair to you. He needs to pull his weight

    • He's away for a few months and keeps in touch throughout the day, but.. yeah. Maybe I'm making myself too available. He asked if we would keep seeing each other when he got back and I said yes (he seemed afraid to ask me) and said he looks forward to hanging out when he does.. which is essentially what we're doing, but it still stung a bit, to be honest. Feels very non-committal... I could easily hang out with my dog. He said he trusts me and wants to show me where he works.. but he also said that before.

      What should I do?

    • I've never really dated before, and since I'm pretty withdrawn and quiet when we're together, I guess I was just trying to compensate for that.