How long is the "dating process"?

So I'm 19 and only had one girlfriend but we aren't together now. I've never really cared for a girlfriend before her and we met online and she lived in a different country so it was long distance and we could only meet every few months for a weekend. Since we met online (and got somewhat close as friends, getting to know each other before going out) we never done the whole dating thing before a proper relationship begins. Currently I'm single and want a girlfriend now so I have to go out there and find a girl and do the whole dating thing. The only problem is - I have no idea how this works.

I personally don't like this idea of dating. Finding a girl getting a date and then still not actually being a couple, still leaving the possibility for each person to still see other people. I'm the type of person that just wants a safe and secure relationship that will eventually lead to marriage so I see no fun in casually dating and just want to be an exclusive couple with someone as soon as I can. Obviously when that happens I wouldn't be like, "so when are we getting married?" but I would only go into a relationship knowing and hoping that if we spend enough times (years) together and it's going great for both people then marriage is the next step. So to be even futher away from that and be in a situation where you can spend time with someone romantically but still see other people is not good for me, which leads to my actual question: How long is the dating process?

If I were to ask a girl out on a date or for her number or whatever, how many dates or how lobg in days/weeks/months does it usually take for the relationship to become exclusive and official, and when is the right time to ask? For me personally, since I just want to get to the relationship stage, I would be inclined to ask after the first date if it goes well. Although it would be best, but I'm guessing unlikely, to have it set before hand that we will be a couple and go on dates as a couple, and if we still like each other then we can obviously keep going but if not then we can break up.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • it's different for everyone, but until becoming exclusive id give it a few months at the very least. then after becoming exclusive, id probably wanna give that another 2-3 years before making any further decisions.

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    • I see I see. Is it unheard of to ask and hopefully set out that you are both just dating each other and are exclusively dating each other but not yet at the relationship stage? A few months feels like a long time to wait hoping she's not seeing anyone else and hoping that time will come.

      And oh yes, 4-5 is the time I say for me is good before making any further decisions. It's just that I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with anyone if I didn't have any plans to take it further at some point in the future. I don't see the point of the relationship if I didn't.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I find that after a month of dating you can officially be in a relationship but I mean thats only if you've connected with the person and see them multiple times a week. Everyone works at different speeds I've found, some girls treat you like a boyfriend after the 2nd date, some wait months. You just have to present the best you that you can be so that she doesn't want to date around and only wants to spend time with you. Our cultures are changing but there is still room for being a genuine, relationship minded guy in it.

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What Girls Said 8

  • After about the fourth date you can make moves to exclusivity. Anything prior to that screams neediness. Usually you have a good feel for someone by date 4 or 5.

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  • My current boyfriend and I dated for 3 or 4 weeks before becoming exclusive and officially in a relationship.
    I'm not trying to be rude, but I would be a little freaked out if a guy asked me to be his girlfriend after a first date.

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  • Wait about 7 good dates or 3 weeks of good conversations and a few dates then ask. It's not official unless you both have agreed that it is official.

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  • It depends. I think it's approximately a few months.

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  • Immediately?

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  • it depends the dating process can be years or months depends on who you fall for

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  • It took my boyfriend and I one date because I told him if he slept with anyone else IDE kill him 😂😁

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  • Usually after 3 weeks

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What Guys Said 8

  • It's different for everyone but for me personally being old fashioned here's how it goes for me, I only have 3 stages.

    1. Courtship, which I only do exclusively
    2. Engagement
    3. Marriage

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  • Over a year is when the honeymoon phase is over and you start to see the real person under all that infatuation. If you can stick it out another year with them, you should probably marry them.

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  • Each relationship is different. There's no set time for the "process". Just get to know her and see if you two match.

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  • There really isn't a length, so to speak. Some settle in around a few weeks, others it takes months. You have time, don't rush it.

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  • Different for everyone, but typically to me it's 3 to 4 years

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  • 3 days up to 2 years then renewable.

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  • It varies but I have yet to be in a relationship. I've dated many but have never had anything long term and having been rebounded before fucked me up with that kinda thing. There were girls I'd have 4 dates afterwards and was hesitant to bring up the relationship talk because I was worried about coming off as needy and rushing them.

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  • A relationship should definitely be official after 1 month. If not then that's a clear sign you need to try someone else. That's a very long wait though, I think perhaps after the 4th or 5th date going well, then that means it's time to become a couple. Also it usually happens very close to the time you first have sex. The girl might ask you first if she is your girlfriend, and you agree to it then have sex. Or you just have sex first, then she's like "So does this mean I am your girlfriend?" and you agree then.

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