How long after a date should you give up?

So I had a first date last night with a guy I met on match.com, and we were hitting it off really well. We talked for hours, were laughing and just having a great time. He didn't want the date to end so he asked if I wanted to go see a band play and hang out more. Throughout the night he kept saying how he was surprised at how amazing I was and that he really wasn't expecting that. He made sure to make me feel at ease and not pressured one bit about anything. I think we hit it off so well because we are both pretty much goofballs and when two goofballs get together, it can be so much fun. He said that he liked me and would definitely like to see me again.

When the band was done it was pretty late and he joked around about going to his house to watch a movie. I felt really comfortable with him so I agreed. He seemed rather shocked at that and made a point to say that nothing would happen, he just wanted to spend more time with me. It was all a big joke and we even shook on it, just for funs sake. We get to his apt and cuddle on the couch while watching the movie. He then kissed me so sweetly, and quickly things started getting hot and heavy. Me not wanting to be "that girl", I quickly stopped it and said I should probably leave. He told me he was glad one of us was strong willed lol. On my drive home he texted me that he had a really great time and said I would certainly hear from him soon.

So my question is...how long should I wait for a call before I give up? It's only been a day, but I'm pretty new to dating so I don't want to get excited about something that may not happen. I've been out with many "players" in my day, and he really didn't give that impression so if he is one, he's REALLY good at it. He didn't make any kind of moves or impression that he would, until that kiss, but then again I am a gullible person.

Updates:
I wanted to say that (being new to dating) I sent him a text today just asking if he was finally able to get some sleep(we had been joking about that), but I wanted to keep the text casual and light. He responded with a laugh, but not much after that...
Never mind...he told me he didn't see a relationship with me..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Seems like you made a good connection. Going one day without talking to someone is just fine. Don't give up. And if nothing else, you can make the call, too. He might want things to slow down a bit, but it seems like he really likes you. So I'd say you should definitely set up another date!

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What Guys Said 1

  • That's so disappointing... that he was saying something completely opposite than what he ended up doing. It has to hurt a little... but I'm glad you stopped yourself. Keep yourself a little distant from now on, perhaps, until you are able to see what develops.

    Good luck.

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    • Thank you, and yes it did hurt, especially since the date was going so well and I was starting to like him. It's weird because I'd never been that comfortable with someone on a first date. I'm trying to not have any more expectations anymore..

    • Remember that sometimes it can feel like chemistry, but that can also be impacted by how much we want something to work, because of things that we see in another person... that can happen if we feel a little more alone that evening, a little more needy perhaps, and a little more desiring of some affection and attention.

      It isn't always that way, because obviously we can often pick up on a real attraction to someone else, even if it isn't mutual, but I think we can sometimes deceives ourselves.

What Girls Said 3

  • You had a good date. It's only been one day. DOn't contact him, let him contact you!

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  • How did he tell you?. What led to his telling you?. I'm kind of in the same situation and I still don't know what he wants?. We spent time together a day after Christmas.

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  • It sounds like you had an awesome date and that he was really into you! One day isn't long at all. I'd hold out for another day or so and see if he asks you out again. He might be trying to keep it cool and not seem desperate. If it ends up that more than a couple days pass and you don't hear from him - I would go ahead and ask him out.

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