I heard there's no dating culture in the UK and people usually go through the slow friendship route, how does that work?

I was hanging out with this British guy who was flirting with me & acted like he liked me, but he never asked me out. Even before he left for home he asked for my contacts & said wanted to keep in touch.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • yeah dating doesn't really happen over here and we tend to be more conservative than our friends across the pond.

    We build the relationship up over time, then when we're sure there's something there we ask the girl out and have a date or two. I think to us, dating means a bit more so we dont have lots of dates like americans do.

    when were dating, were basically already in a relationship. at least thats how it used to be, but things are slowly changing and American culture is coming over to us. apparently our schools now have proms with guys asking the girls on a date. that was never a thing when I was at school.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, I've never really seen any British people do casual dating. Other people have had different experiences but I haven't experienced that. Most couples I know become committed from the moment they get asked out.

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    • That's interesting. So is that why it often takes a long time for someone to get asked out?

    • That and British people aren't really a culture who enjoy talking about our feelings :P My boyfriend and I were close friends for four years before we got together.

What Guys Said 10

  • I would say that in Britain their is a dating culture as well as simply expecting relationships to blossom from long term friendship. This misconception may have resulted from a cultural nuance. In Britain is is often considered poor show to be dating more than one person at the same time. I understand that his is more socially acceptable in some other countries.

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  • That is bollocks. There is dating, of course there is. But there's also going out on the pull and hoping you meet someone. That's how many do it (especially while young) is go out with their friends in a group and hope to find someone while drunk in a club or pub.

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  • I think it's like the US , just go with the flow with things and take it from there
    you were hanging out with the guy, he asked for your contacts but unless you
    gave him ways to get in touch with you then most likely he won't be able to get
    hold of you but if you did than play things by ear.

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  • UK have a dating culture... Difficult to answer your q without knowing your age since most ages act differently as in any culture.

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  • There's no dating because they go straight to bangin' eachother in Croydon, usually on the bus.

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  • That's not even true. People mostly meet up in clubs as far as I know. A lost of us are reticent though, so I guess your friend is one of those.

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  • Bit of a generalisation, I am Irish, and if I liked a woman i would ask her out

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  • In UK we Flrit to be friendly we all do it in everyday life without even thinking about it.

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    • Thanks for the input but I'm not sure if that answers my question.

  • Hey I never thought about that, we don't date at all here ahha XD

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  • no, we go on dates... but it's different.

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What Girls Said 6

  • There's a dating culture in Britain as much as anywhere else! This sounds like a singular experience if I'm honest... I'd say the "slow friendship route" is an common in Britain as anywhere. Yeah, we have some weird social traditions but we're quite similar to most other western countries in dating.
    I'd say the slow friendship is actually just getting to know somebody quite well and being friendly first, before you commit/become intimate...
    (One last note, and I'm just being picky now, but Britain and the UK are slightly different things) :)

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    • I see. That's true, I meant British for the most part. How long would you say the "slow friendship route" usually takes? I heard it can take pretty long

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    • Wow, I see. Thank you for sharing the info :)

    • Haha, anytime! I don't think it was that helpful though!

  • At some points it's a US vs UK difference, on some points it's a US vs EU difference. Because it's actually quite complex. Because several other things should be taken into account when looking at this. It's not merely a difference between wanting to date or not, it's a culture difference.

    One of the first things is that people in the UK tend to be a bit more moderated compared to americans. Saying to keep in touch in the US often means you can expect a phonecall within a week. In the UK however this could mean there will be later contact, how much later not being specified. But it can also be a polite way to part without any future contact intended.

    Another difference is the way of getting yourself romantically involved with someone else. In the USA it's often going impulsive, often doing things without thinking or following christian extremist guidelines (remember, the general way how americans are christian, is regarded as an extremist way in europe) and being stuck to a relationship earlier and longer. As a result lots of people in the US get forced to marry earlier (birthcontrol is less common, marrying early is socially more acceptable, etc). In Europe, especially western Europe like the UK, it's less common to marry early. Many marrying, or being pregnant in the early 20's or earlier are seen as abnormal. As such, boys and girls tend to 'explore their options' a bit more than in the US. Combined with longer and better education it often leads to less time for a relationship and more chance to meet someone while studying or later at work. So dating can last shorter, because breaking up is socially more acceptable

    Also, some summer love might be attractive during the holidays, reality of daily life kicks in quite easily. So what might have looked nice across the pond, gets different when you're home and far away.

    More things can be involved when looking at the differences in dating culture between the US and western EU, but unfortunately there's a 2500 character restriction. But saying the UK lacks a dating culture is an urban myth. People just get less often stuck to it. Free birthcontrol, easier social norms that make relationships more flexible and a dozen other things mean great dates can be left behind way easier and then sometimes ending up with someone you knew for ages and know you can depend on, might end up to be the best option to depend on for the remainder of your life.

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  • I guess us British just take a bit longer to get to know each other. We're quite closed off people and don't tend to divulge our life story immediately so it takes us longer to find out enough about each other to consider a relationship. It's worked pretty well for me so far but I think it can be weird for foreigners who are more open and confident.

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  • From what I've learned in Skins (mind you, this is all I know of it) is they hang out and if someone hooks up then great - if they're compatible personality wise then they're a couple.

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  • Friends first but I haven't heard this at all

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  • I think it works better that way.

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    • I think it could be better or worse that way depending on the situation.

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