Your Opinion - Should I always be the one to initiate the conversation?

So, Long story short, I've been dating a girl for about a month know but we were friends for around 2 months before that. This is a long distance relationship so our mode of communication is Skype, facebook and text. by the way I'm 21 she's 19

I am falling really really hard for this girl and for the past few days I've been unable to stay away from her and have initiated the conversation with her. She did it once, but it's mostly been me.

Today, i decided to see if she would initiate to see if she perhaps felt the way i do for her, but unfortunately, it is now almost midnight and I haven't heard from her all day. I'm worried i came on too strong and scared her away :/

Do you guys think I should just give her some space and wait for her to text me or should I text her tomorrow? Like i said, I'm falling super hard for this girl and I don't want to ruin anything, but I feel I ma already have done so. I've also been complimenting her and I feel like it's too much? For example, i tell her that i love her smile and when she sends a picture that she's beautiful, etc; is that too much?

I'm officially sad :/


Most Helpful Girl

  • No, you should not always be the one to initiate conversation. No one should ever always have to be the only one to initiate conversation. That's unfair, predictable, boring, and frustrating.

    Considering the situation, I think it's best for you to just give her some space and wait for her to initiate communication. I can't say why for sure she's not replying but there is a chance that it may not be because of something you did or didn't do. She could be genuinely going through something where she just needs her space and doesn't wish to communicate with you or anyone else. Just give her some space for now and don't compliment her too much because it can come off as being insincere. Compliments are flattering but if you give them too much then it can come off as you just saying it just to say it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay mate,

    If i am going to be brutally honest, don't waste your time with a long distance relationship because you are sailing straight to disaster, they never work mate.
    but i will give you advice.

    Based on what i have read, i think you may be a bit needy. but i would need more info to clarify this.

    Complimenting and showing a girl you are interested is good, its the whole bloody point. but when you leave no mystery to it then you kill it.

    Let me give you an example:
    When you have a ball of yarn and you dangle it on top a cat, what happens? the cat will reach, if not, jump for it.

    But what happens when you give the cat the yarn? it will play with for a while and then get bored.

    now you have given her the ball of yarn and its possible she got bored. maybe.

    if you really itch for it, then you can send a feeler, like 'hey, haven't heard from you today, you okay?' bla bla bla. but i dont advise it.

    Let her crave your attention, make her want to jump for the yarn, DONT blatantly ignore her but dont be too needy.

    Now in order for me to give proper sound advice, i need more detail, to see how much you might have screwed it up.


What Girls Said 2

  • It should be balanced. If you are always initiating then yes she should absolutely be initiaing and you need to give her space so that she has a chance to do so. Rest assured if she really likes you she would contact you regardless and will make a effort to talk to you.

  • you shouldn't always be the one to initiate!


What Guys Said 2

  • If she sent those pictures for you.. Thats the right thing to do.

    Also don't message her UNTIL she messages you.. See how long it takes her to message you first.

    If she doesn't make an effort you're better off without her

    I have a 'friend' who I alwaus use to talk to and she did talk back
    And after a few years she stopped then I got fed up with her lack of effort amd its been a month and a half and she hasn't spoken...

    Fu** that

  • Most girls refuse to be the initiators. They'll let the relationship end before they'd initiate. Society says it's the mans job to be the chaser. Sorry but dems the breaks of life guy.