We aren't exclusive but I still want him, I just feel like I come across as way to avaliable & easy. I like him & he likes me (apparently). He's newly single & I want him to explore his single-dom & understand why he's doing it. I still want to get with him but I don't want him to lose interest or take advantage of the fact that he knows i'll still be around. How do I stop looking so weak?
This has never happened and it's the biggest BS myth I've ever seen. Accessibility never turns off a man. Being a pushover maybe, or clingy/controlling, or unexciting/unattractive maybe but not being too accessible. Men only like a challenge from boring women. If you've gotta keep a man chasing/excited and interested what your really saying is "I'm not interesting enough on my own for him to like me" which isn't true. It's also counterproductive if you've got to entice a man into remaining interested then that means he's not really interested in you he's just interested in the challenge. Who wants a relationship built like a video game. If you don't want to get played don't present yourself as a game. And what I mean by all that is just continue being you and continue being there. Show him you like him over time and many different ways if he likes you back he'll eventually come around. You don't need to do anything special. Just be you and enjoy your life and show him affection whenever you want in whatever way you want. I'm not gauranteeing it'll work but if it doesn't work nothing else will.
Limit your time with him. If you talk to him on the phone via text, whatsapp, fb etc cut that from everyday to every 2 or 3 days. When he calls dont be so quick to answer the phone and dont spend every waking moment you have with him because he is gonna view you as easy or available and think well "I dont have to work hard for her she's just there" Hope I dont come off as harsh but thats how it is around my parts. On the other hand, he is newly single and he would have to explore and you will have to give him a time or space to do that. You dont wanna just attack it at full force all at once because breaking up if hard and he needs to recover physically as well as emotionally but at the same time you can drop subtle hints about your interest into him once in a while. Hope I helped
If you're seeing him, but let him date around, and he's just out of a relationship, it will be hard/impossible for him to consider you seriously. I'm sure he likes you and enjoys time with you, but not for long-term relationship.
First, newly single means rebound. It's a tool to get over your ex. Then he's dating other people, never should you be understanding.
When someone comes on to you during a rebound, you have to put your foot down, tell them to take a while to do their thing, and if a few months down the road they still want you and are serious, then come back and try again.
I've never heard of a situation like yours that turned into a serious monogamous relationship.
I like "kaylaS91" 's advice. You could tell him that you've started to have feelings for him, and don't want to continue being with him unless he's also in that mindset. Then walk away. Maybe he'll come back, maybe he won't. But I can guarantee if you keep doing what you are you'll never be in the long term category in his mind.
Funny I am in the same situation with a girl. She has been single for about 10 months now and started dating again recently. She dated a few guys before me she told me but was not seeing anyone when we started dating. We had four dates in about a month. And they went quite well. But then since the past two weeks I asked her out twice; she tells me she was too busy and didn't reschedule. So last time we spoke I told her to let me know when she wants to hang out again and I don't intent to recontact her until she contacts me.
Why? Because either a) She likes me, but think its going too fast (even if we both said we are fine not being in a relationship right now, just happy dating and would see where it goes) and now she needs her space; b) She met someone else that is more interesting/attractive to her; c) She figured out she actually does'nt like me and don't want to tell me upfront. d) She is just really busy at the time;
Whatever the scenario, there is nothing I can do but wait to see if she comes back. It sucks because I really like her but that's how it works.
I recommend you do the same; as the saying goes; if you like someone, set them free. If they come back they were yours. In the meantime, do your thing, don't spend your evenings checking your phone. Go out have fun. And maybe he'll be back :) Good luck !
Could it be you are over-thinking this? Yes, he is newly single and rebounding, but if you enjoy each other's company, leave it at that for now. Review and re-evaluate this in six months to a year and THEN start making decisions.
If you do things to act like you're not that interested because you're scared of looking 'too available', you're at much more risk of him thinking you're legit not into him than anything else.
Why don't you just tell him you're interested, or flirt with him pretty openly? If you act like you know what you want and that happens to be him, he'll be more turned on and impressed with your confidence than anything else.
It's good if you realize you're acting that way cause then you can change it :) Start saying "no" sometimes, like, don't be available for him everytime. For example, if he asks you to hang out on a certain day, tell him you can't, and offer a day later in time. Don't answer to his texts right away. Don't be obsequious. And above all, don't make him the center of your life right now, Put yourself first, enjoy your friends, your hobbies, life in general.
well you should definitely be you and if you wanna jump on him, then jump on him - the point is that you have to face your fears. If you face your fears you'll be one thing you need to be not to be weak and that means confident. So what if he leaves you? You'll find someone who will appreciate you being giving just be ysf and don't worry about him leaving you for being the way you are