Girls, I'm constantly high or drunk or partying, why don't many girls want to date me long-term?

I'm moderately attractive, a successful DJ and Professional gamer, ' well endowed ' and from a well off family, and have a lot of money myself. How come women don't want to date someone who's constantly partying? What's your honest problem with how I live my life? I also have social anxiety, but I self medicate consistently. Literally every time I hang out with someone. When I'm playing at clubs, parties, or music festivals most girls want me when they see me performing, but don't want anything long term.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think most people want to really get to know somebody - be able to see the real person beneath their public mask. Stability is also a major factor for girls, they need to know you can be their rock and visa versa. I'm not saying you personally can't, but a lot of people have negative connotations with drugs and constant partying etc. They might also want someone they can spend time with where it isn't just at a club or a wild party; they might want someone they know will take the time to go places with them that can be special and meaningful. Not that everything has to be vomit-worthy romantic but sometimes just going somewhere casual or chilled out can be really great.
    If girls only see the partying side of you they probably assume you are a player (I obviously don't know you so I can't comment on that) and if they are looking for a boyfriend then players aren't really on their list. The other thing is they might think tat all you're interested in is partying and drinking, and that that's all you ever do in your free time.
    I guess if it is all you do in your free time and it's a huge part of your life you should look for a girl who has a similar lifestyle

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    • Truthfully, yeah, its also a huge part of my creative process. If you think its easy making electronic music, tell me how fun it is to stare at a computer screen arranging complex waves and sounds for 10+ hours at a time. You are going to need a pick me up, and coffee just doesn't work.

What Girls Said 8

  • I'm constantly high or drunk or partying" That's your problem. A lifestyle like that isn't sustainable and girls don't want to invest in a boy that still wants to be a kid.

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    • It is unsustainable, I get a lot of money from both music and gaming. Sure, one day I'll probably stop both, but that doesn't mean I should be subjected to the utter boredom and mediocrity of a 9-5. I do appreciate your opinion, but it comes off like you don't know what you're talking about.

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    • Not particularly, no. If you read everything, 9-5 doesn't sit with me whatsoever. That also means less time for what I love to do, its why I left school at 15, and supported myself ever since. All my money has come from music or gaming.

    • You can work outside of 9-5 and still be kinder to yourself than you are now. Grab a GED and go get your degree in music production or think about some other things you might want to do when you're older.

  • Someone who constantly parties, just sounds like a guy who's around women 24/7. I don't know about you, but it doesn't sound like going into a relationship with a person like that will guarantee me a long term, serious relationship.

    It's just to reckless, too much drama for my taste.

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    • I've never had any drama, unless that girl I was with at the time started it. Either way, I enjoy the music, and the feeling I get from performing, and I love my scene to bits. Aside from this its, honestly perfect. I've been faithful to every girl I've been with, and rejected any others who advanced on me.

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    • Haha thanks. I guess if you really wanted to you can always tackle the self medicating and social anxiety you have. Maybe it's less motivational for you as I can see you want to be famous lol

    • I don't have fame in my mind, but I just want to do what I love.

  • If you don't know then I don't know what to tell you.

    If it's not GLARINGLY obvious to you... then perhaps if you stopped ingesting substances you'd figure it out.

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  • Well you pretty much answered your own question here: "I'm constantly high or drunk or partying". If anything, that's the main reason. A lot of girls really don't want to date a guy who lives that kind of lifestyle, and the ones who do date you often do the same things and they're not the kind of women who want a long term relationship.

    You can live your life anyway that you want to, but you also can't expect every kind of girl to find it am attractive lifestyle. For me, using drugs, drinking and partying all the time isn't what I look for in a guy. No offense, but it's a turn off to me. I don't live that kind of life and I want a guy who lives the same kind of life as me in order for it to work in the long term.

    I have some social anxiety too but I deal with it a different way.

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  • girls want a guy who has his shit figured out. not someone who drinks, parties, and gambles. and by the their is no such as a professional gambler that means "i spend my money away and have not lost a ton of my life savings" i would know i was born and raised in Nevada, USA. If you still want to gamble, party, and drink thats fine. here in Nevada when i hear slot machines i think of someone "paying" for the education for kids K-12.

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    • Re-read please lmao. I am not a professional gambler ahahahah.

  • I don't find people who partake in that lifestyle attractive.

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    • Is there any real particular reason?

    • Not my cup of tea I guess. I want to do activities with my significant other that we both would enjoy.

    • Yeah, I totally understand that. Could just be the women around me, or the girls in general who are into what I do.

  • Because you seem like a fun person :)

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    • Women, am I right? ahah.

  • <<< Rolls eyes, shakes head, blows a fart and leaves.

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