I am a very easy going guy, I dont demand a lot of my girlfriend, however one thing that I can't stand about her is the way she dresses. I guess you could say she dresses like every other American girl out there, and that style just bothers me so much. I just think women look so much better clothed, when they aren't wearing skin tight tank tops, with tons of chest skin showing, or when they aren't wearing bikinis which are basically the same as a girl running around in her underwear (which I find disgusting). Anyway so I have been dating my girlfriend for a year, and a half, and she is a great person, we really get along and all that, but I just can't stand the way she dresses. Sometimes she wears really tight tank tops that honestly make me want to gag, and just about everything in her wardrobe shows chest skin, not necessarily cleavage, but just skin (which I also dont like). I think she is beautiful, but not when she dresses like that, I have hinted at her multiple tims that I prefer the way she dresses in the winter time (although she didn't realy notice). Anyway I told her I really didn't think tank tops were attractive, and also suggested she wear more crewneck shirts, and even offered to go out with her to buy her some, and she seemed all offended. She actually told me she makes an effort to dress up everyday, which I was baffled by because I dont really think her choice of clothes looks that good at all. Anyway I dont tell normal girls this and try my best to ignore it, but since we have been going out for a while and things are getting serious I thought I should tell her one of the only things I dont like about her, and try to get her to change her dress at least a little, she took it not quite as well as I hoped she would, is this unreasonable of me?
You shouldn't try to change your boyfriend or girlfriend. That is pretty much one of the golden rules. You date someone for who they are today. If you make someone your partner it means accepting them for how they look, dress and act. It's obviously different if we're talking about health situations like a partner taking up smoking or drinking or drugs but when it comes to dress sense then it's one of those things you can't control your partner over. It's their choice and preference and you really have no say in it and shouldn't feel entitled to it either. You can maybe express some feelings about it, like you did, but then you have to leave it and accept it. Dragging it out and making it a big issue will make her feel upset because you are challenging her freedom and asking her to change to make YOU happy and not her and we all know each person is responsible for their own happiness.
You need to accept it or leave. Either way you can't force her to be someone she doesn't want to be. It doesn't work like that in relationships.
These are the kind of things that you handle in the beginning, not a year and a half later. If she dressed the same way when you met her, then why do you want to change her now, if it was this big of an issue, you shouldn't have wasted your or her time in the first place.
To suggest she changes how she dresses after you two have been together this long isn't something a "nice" guy would do, you come across like someone who has no respect for someone elses time honestly, it's not nice to let someone love/like you for that long and then start changing things about them that you were perfectly aware of in the first place.
There's nothing wrong with having preferences so next time pick a girl who dresses more like what you prefer.
But... She was wearing those kinda clothing when you guys first met. You must have known her style... Don't be so shocked.
There's really no nice way to tell someone that they should dress more conservatively. You just have to let her know what kinda clothing you want to see her in find things you like and ask her if she likes them too.
If it's just the style you don't like then shut up If you feel she shows too much, talk to her about it, but realize she's not obliged to do as you say. Say it more like that intimacy is special to you and you don't want other people to see her like that instead of telling her that she dresses slutty Also realize some outfits are the norm and you asking her not to wear it is abnormal. Like bikinis at the beach, more likley than no she'll think it's weird as hell and so will most other people If you live in the west short sleeves and short skirts pants are the norm. I'm not sure what you mean by she is showing skin, like any skin? Because asking her to cover up from head to toe is NOT reasonable unless you live in Saudi Arabia
Lastly, you can tell her how you feel but really you shouldn't go into a relationship trying to change that person which according to yourself you are doing. So might as well just break it off
When it's hot as balls outside she is going to dress for the weather. Not wear her winter clothes in the summer. If you don't like it break up with her. Plus if you really loved her you not try to change her. At all.
Well you're entitled to your opinion but that doesn't mean she has to like it.
Yes and she should dump you and get a real man that appreciate her
Yes, it is. You can always say that you really love how she looks in [insert dress or clothing here]. But at the end of the day, it is her decision. You've been dating her for a while and knew how she dressed. I would hope my boyfriend accepts me for who I am, and I accept him.
It's bad form FOR BOTH SEXES to see another person as a set of raw materials to be molded into an ideal form.
If style of dress is a deal breaker for you, that is fine. But then, you should let style of dress influence your your decision of who to date. Attempting to make changes after the fact is controlling, manipulative and rude.