Hi, basically Im 16 and never had a boyfriend. What am I doing wrong?

So Im 16 *17 in a few weeks* and I've realised that I've never bad a boyfriend. I've had a few crushes on people but I've never acted upon them 1. cos im so scared of reaction 2. almost everyone is out of my league 3. so many people leave in my life so im scared of letting people in in the first place and 4. they're probably not interested anyway. I've always been super insecure of how I look... the fact that I've been the only black girl in my school for most of my life and that makes me think
thats the reason why boys aren't interested sometimes because 99% of the girls are white and most have had a boyfriend so for a while i was very insecure and felt like I was always the ugly 'minority' friend... this feeling has gotten a lot smaller over the years but is still very present and im reminded of it everyday... Dont get me wrong though, i love my skin and my heritage!! but to be honest its very sad but its the truth. But anyways i never leave the house without make-up mostly natural make-up so its not a drastic change, I dont do it for the attention of boys I just do it so that I can feel better about myself but it would be some reassurance if a boy looked at me for more than just a glance you know. I'm for some reason starting to feel like there is something undateable about me just wondering if there's anyone else out there whos felt as crappy as I am right i would love to know your story? I just need any advice right now 😊😊

Updates:
by the way i said i was 22 when sighning up... idkw 😒

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly I have no idea, its really easy for girls to get a boyfriend (especially compared to guys). Usually you just sit there and look hot and you get a couple guys come up to you. Trust me I know how guys work, I have seen girls with the personality of a potato land guys, just because they are good looking. Guys on the other hand, since girls never approach us, or never come hit on us, have to do everything ourselves, initiate the first conversation, keep bothering her to get together until you feel comfortable to ask her out, then you have to propose to her. Its all a lot of risks that guys have to take, girls just sit there and look hot and guys will like them, no risk involved. Of course you could act differently then one of those potato girls I talked about earlier, and actually go talk to guys (which is so refreshing when girls approach me, its so much easier and such a nice change from me having to do it, especially since my communications skills suck), if you initiate more relationships with other guys then maybe they will notice you more, and ask you out. Not sure, but honestly all that minority stuff you are concerned about is a load of crap. I GUARANTEE you that for every single minority girl at your school, there are probably 3 single white girls (assuming the ratio of whites to minorities that you spoke of is legit). That means there are 3 white girls in your school just like you wondering why they dont have a boyfriend (except they are white so they dont think about race as being a problem), they are struggling the same way you are, they just have different things they blame it on. Race really doesn't matter as much as the media makes it out to. The person matters, and for me I would date someone of any race. I haven't met many black girls who I get along with enough to date, but I am open to the idea if a nice one comes along, and I know most other guys feel that way too.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was in exactly the same boat as you about a month ago. I had never been in a relationship and I thought boys didn't like me because I wasn't as skinny as the other girls around me. But now I have a boyfriend who adores me and frankly can't keep his hands off of me. I'm going to be 18 this December so I know exactly how you feel. Honestly not every guy is going to think of you in a romantic way just like you don't think of every guy in a romantic way. You just have to find that person that does. Yes it sucks to think no guy likes you or that you're not good enough. But honey you are more than enough and you don't need to ever settle.

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What Guys Said 3

  • d00d you're 16, chillout bruh. there is no normalcy to having a bf/gf at a certain age because its about half and half the amount of people in general who have one and don't have one around nearly every age.

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  • You're only 16, relationships in high school don't mean shit. I'm 25 and yet to have a serious relationship. Not that I haven't dated nor am I a virgin but never had an official girlfriend. My biggest issue is trying to find the right one. Usually it's the ones I like that aren't into me long term, and the ones into me I'm not into. I'm not just gonna settle either.

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  • I'm almost 30 and I have never had a girlfriend too (although I'm straight). What am I doing wrong? :(

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What Girls Said 1

  • Dont worry about that I am 20 I have nevvver had a boyfriend. u shouldn't worry enjoy Highschool study. Everything will come when its time and when u least expect it. So cheer up.

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