I've been having a lot of trouble lately determining who is "the one" for me and what I really want in a spouse for the rest of my life and so on, and I've looked a lot into couples and seen where they may appear to be "perfect" but then you look deeper and find out that, of course, they aren't. I know relationships won't ever be perfect, but how do you know when you've met the one you are supposed to figure it all out with?
Most Helpful Guy
you don't "find" the one, you become the one. people expect happiness to come from external sources when it should originate from one's self. also in the era of ego, noone cares to take the blame for a faulty relationship. imho, the most important forgotten phrase is: "it's my fault!". and its important to do the best possible and be the best possible person when interacting to other humans.3
Most Helpful Girl
First question, yes I believe in the one. Second question, is the cliche answer of "you'll just know". When it's right, you won't have to wonder if it's right because in your heart you'll just know that it is.
Now, for further unsolicited advice or opinions. You're right that no relationship is perfect but you need to understand that the couples that try REALLY hard to appear perfect to other people, probably aren't and are trying to cover up all the flaws. That's why I don't want perfect, I just want real. Perfection, leads to disappointment but being real as an individual and a couple leaves less worry for getting disappointed by the little things they do.
Also, just because that perfect or any couple fights. Doesn't mean that they don't love each other or that they are going to break up. I feel like maybe that's something you might be thinking about and shouldn't, fights don't automatically mean divorce. It's more the issue at hand the couple themselves, when that's put on the table. So, don't think disagreements are a bad thing because sometimes they are actually a good thing.
Another thing, I think people spend too much time trying to figure out what they want in a spouse but the truth is when it's right you'll just know they are someone you want to marry. It's not about figuring out before hand what qualities you want them have because that could change through out the course of your dating life. It's about just letting it happen and when you find someone REALLY special who you can't imagine living without, then not only will you know it's right but you'll suddenly know what you want because you want them and everything that makes them who they are, the good, the bad and the otherwise. Just a little perspective for you.0