Did I do the right thing by canceling plans on her?

Alright so I met this girl about 4 months ago whom I work with, it wasn't until recently about 1 month ago that we have gotten to know each other more and I've developed a liking towards her, I found a new job so I told myself I should make a move. Signs that I noticed she showed interested were that she casually mentioned in conversation that she was single a few times, body language, she asked for my number incase she ever needed it, so we exchanged numbers, she would come and start coversations with me. She tells me that Im a really calm guy and when I graduate and leave this job how she hopes she doesn't get stuck with people she doesn't like.

I finally decided to ask her out for lunch recently and she agreed. We set a date and location which was for today. However a few days ago she texted me and told me that she was currently in a awkward situation with her ex boyfriend who she spilt with 2 years ago, she told me they were always back and forth all the time and he wasn't too happy she was going out to lunch with me. But she was still interested in lunch and told me he would get over it. She must of gotten back together with him recently because she told me less than a month ago she was single.

Our plans were for me to drive to where she lives about 40 minutes away and grab lunch together. However, last night I was thinking about it and I noticed she had never told me whether they were actually currently back and forth, so I texted her and asked her if she was back with him and she told me "yesssss haha" at this point I told her it better off we scratch off our plans for getting lunch because I did not want issues with her current boyfriend (her ex). I wanted my intentions to be known.

I feel like I lost a friend by canceling last minute, but she knew I liked her more than a friend, and she could have told me from the start that she was currently seeing her ex boyfriend again. At which point I wo


Most Helpful Girl

  • You did the right thing. She either tell you because 1) she likes you and wanted to see if you guys could still magically go on this date or 2) she was embarrassed to cancel (which I know, still crappy) or 3) she never even defined their relationship (kind-of like a friends with benefits) and when you texted she just decided to say yes they're dating because he's been with her for that amount of time so she assumes they're back together.


Most Helpful Guy

  • She should have been straight up with you about the ex thing man, you did the self respecting thing


What Girls Said 2

  • You've written a mini-novel. I CBA to read all that. Can you summarise it please?

    • Met this girl at work about 5 months ago, we got to know each other recently. She showed signs of interest, told me she was single etc. I found another job so I decided to ask her out. We finally agreed on a date and place, She told me a few days ago that her and her EX BOYFRIEND were always back and forth all the time and he wasn't to happy that she was going to see me for lunch, but she was still interested. She never specified if she was back with him so yesterday I decided to ask her whether or not she was actually and she told me "yessss ahah" So I told her it was better off we cancel our plans that involved me driving about 40 minutes to she her because I did not want to have issues with her current boyfriends. I felt like she stringed me along because she could have told me she was back with him but instead she didn't?

    • Thanks for the shorter version.

      She used you as a bargaining tool to make the ex jealous and then get back with him.

      This type of girl never, sadly, is never worth your time, but you don't find that out until the last minute.

      Yes you were right to cancel plans with her because you wouldn't have gotten anywhere with her. She doesn't consider other people's emotions when playing her games.

  • Yes you did the right thing


What Guys Said 0

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