Why is it ok for women to not risk their self esteem to ask a guy out, but its ok, and even expected of guys to risk these things to ask a girl out?

For the longest time in my life, I thought there was something wrong with me because women NEVER approach me, they never come talk to me, or ask me out, or try to pursue a relationship with me, and I always blamed on myself not being good enough (which, as you can imagine, wasn't good for my self esteem). I literally felt like a pile of crap because women didn't even talk to me, and I was so beyond shy, so socially inept, and so scared that I couldnt talk to or approach them. After getting a lot of opinions online I determined that the general consensus among women is that "they dont want to risk rejection", or "they dont want to risk hurting their self esteem", or something along those lines, so they dont even talk to guys that dont approach them. This proved that it wasn't just me who was experiencing this problem, as other guys vented their frustrations to it as well. As a guy, if you have lower self esteem then normal (such as myself), then you are set up to fail from the start, because women aren't helping at all. At parties, women sit in the corner and wait to be approached, and amazingly they are approached. If I sit in the corner at a party I sit there alone for the night. This is the most backwards thing I have ever seen, women who are too scared to ask guys out, or too nervous about rejection, can still be successful dating, but if a guy, such as myself, is too scared to ask girls out, then he is never going to get a girlfriend. Women look at me and say "that person is of the male sex, therefore he definitely has more self esteem then me, and he can take a rejection"... no, just no. I know right now if I got rejected by the girl I liked I would go cry in my room like a little girl, I dont have more self esteem then women, I HATE THAT GENERALIZATION. The double standard that its ok for a guy to have his ego hurt by rejection, but not a girl, pisses me off so much. Why is this even here? Why are women so cruel to guys like me?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I can only speak for myself but, in my culture (Hispanic/Latin) 'proper' girls don't 'lower themselves' by asking a man out. It's considered cheap or desperate. I can logically say that's not true but it's so embedded in me that I still feel uncomfortable making the first move.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Story or my life. Let me know if you ever get this predicament figured out.

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  • it's stupid. A lot of girls refuse to ask a guy out even if she likes him and thinks he's attractive. She'll do things to get his attention and try to get him to ask her out but refuses to ask him out.

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