My friend has got involved with this older guy and im really worried about her, what should I do?

right so basically my best friend has started seening this older guy. he's 18 (19 next month) and she's 14, like me. i know that isn't that much older but it seems odd to me that an 18 year old would want anything to do with a 14 year old. she swore to me that she loves him and that theyve never had sex. she also said that he is really nice and he's not trying to get her to 'do stuff'. But im still really worried about her! her mom dosen't know that she's seeing this guy. i know that she's been lying to her mom aswell pretending she's sleeping at my house when really she's at his. please anyone what should i do? should i tell her mom? would it just be sly to tell her mom? guys, if you were 18 would you be interested in a relationship with a 14 year old girl? somebody please just help me, i dont know what to do.

Updates:
I've lived in a childrens care home ever since both my parents passed away so telling my mom isn't an option. However i have meetings with a councillor. i really trust my councillor, she's like a mom to me so i think im going to tell her? do you think that is the right thing to do? or is that a horrible thing to do to your bestfriend?
so WE did it WE BOTH told my councillor. however my friend did not hate me for it, in fact she loved me even more for it! :) she said she was really scared herself but too scared to end it with him. she was worried that if she told an adult then he'd come after her. so we told together so she didn't have to do it on her own. THANKYOU THANKYOU to everyone that help me make my decision!!!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell an adult. It is NOT a horrible thing to be doing. You are caring for your friend. Something bad could happen to her. This guy could also take advantage of her. It is against the law for him and her to be together.
    First tell her that this is not good and that something bad could happen. Tell her it is against the law and that he could get in trouble too. If she ignores it and does not break up with him... tell the adult.
    I could not think of a normal 19 year old wanting to date a 14 year old. It seems he is trying to take advantage of her.

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What Guys Said 2

  • In respect to the stages they are in their life that is a huge age difference. Plus, I do not know where you are from, but in many places in the World this is against the Law. It is hard to talk to her for 'love is blind' and you cannot betray her trust by ratting on her.

    I guess are torn between support her or betraying her- not easy :(

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  • I think you should tell her mom because it's not right for an adult to be dating a child. I would never date a 14 year old girl because I see them as little kids

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What Girls Said 6

  • Is he still in high school, is she in high school? If she is spending the night they are having sex. Tell her she can't tell her Mom she is staying with you anymore because you won't lie to her Mom if you are asked. No good

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    • Or tell your parents and let them tell her parents. It distances you from it a bit. He is using her and she thinks she loves him. It's a shame to think that would be her model of what love looks like. If it plays out on its own I'm sure she'll end up hurt, probably when she finds out he is screwing other people.

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    • @shadiamond well you would be the exception. A 14 year old staying with an 18 year old on a regular basis and lying about it is having sex. She is telling her friend she isn't because she knows her friend wouldn't approve. End of story.

    • Well I guess you're over at the 18 yr old's place every night while her friend is there since you're so sure. Who knows, they may not be but when he does try to pressure her into sex she may wise up bow out of the sick relationship.

  • No it wouldn't be sly - it would be protecting her. I'm 19, even though I'm female it is just very strange for people my age to be with someone a lot younger. Age doesn't matter when you're older, but when someone is still a child, age does matter. You would be a good friend to tell her mom or your mom, even if she wouldn't see it straight away.. You've not done anything wrong, this relationship between them needs to stop though

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  • As someone who's going to be eighteen in a couple of months I don't think I would ever want to have anything to do with fourteen year olds, they are basically like kids... I'm not really sure if your friend should carry on with this "relationship"

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  • It doesn't seem right I mean u can't know the intentions of the guy and what not. i guess I d at least inform her mom

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  • Please tell her mother... he might be winning her trust just to use her... it's pretty weird for a 18 year old to like 14 year old... it's against law... girls that age are naive... anyone can fool them with sugar coated shit... help your friend...

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  • I was seeing a 22 yr old at 14. If my best friend at the time had told my Mom I would have beat the shit out of said best friend and be super pissed. That's more than sly. That's betrayal of trust. He hasn't forced her to do anything she doesn't want. If the relationship takes a turn for the worse then you can intervene.

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    • There is a reason that it is illegal for a 22 year old to date a 14 year old. Legally speaking she cannot give consent. It is called statutory rape.

    • I know what it's called but I wanted the sex back then.

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