Kissed a life long friend, now what?

My friend J and me have known each other since we were kids. When we were around 17 we kissed and had these intense feelings for each other but nothing ever happened because I started dating someone else then moved to another country for college. Every time I would come home I would see him and we would get along great, he used to have a girlfriend that did not let him see me. On the occasions that I did, there was that "connection" but we never did/talked about it and we each had our respective gf/bf. I'm done with college now and came home again, he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore and neither do I and one day, we kissed. I thought it would happen again, but it didn't. A couple of days passed until after a night of partying I got drunk, asked him why he had not kissed me again. I was too drunk and don't remember what he said but it was something along the lines that he respected me too much. I have no idea what that means but in the end, we kissed again. And that's that. We haven't talked much about the subject and I am leaving again soon and would love to talk to him about it, see what he thinks and what did he mean by that "respect thing" What does that mean? What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It seems to me that you both have deep feelings for each-other, maybe because you were close friends in childhood and it gives both, you and him a sense of relief, relaxation and generally makes you both feel good.

    I believe he means he wouldn't want to take advantage of you, or even risk your friendship over something that he is unsure about. Like you said; you were friends growing up, so he respects you because of the valued time you and him have spent together over the years and doesn't want to risk loosing you.

    I suggest you sit down, face to face and have a detailed talk about your futures. Then occasionally bring up your relationship with each-other and how you personally feel. He Probably feels the same but is too nervous, shy or scared to say anything.

    Best of Luck.


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What Guys Said 1

  • He really likes you, both physically and mentally. Sounds like he wants to have sex with you, but respects you too much to have a one night stand with you.


What Girls Said 1

  • I guess hang out as friends for now. don't put so much emotional investment till you guys get to know each other for a bit and besides take it slow . but I think you guys have chemistry there and thus probably getting to know each other more might ignite what you guys had before.