As soon as I fall for a guy I become insecure and freak out... why?

There is a pattern when I meet guys which is very disturbing.
When I meet someone I am very cool in the beginning (not on purpose) and seem very confident (which I am).
As soon as I start to get attached, I change completely... I freak out if he doesn't text back, I analyze everything etc. I don't feel as confident and I constantly feel that I am not good enough. I am deep down very insecure probably and as soon as I develop feelings I start to freak out and be afraid of losing that person. I need constant reassurance in order to be safe (well maybe text every 2 weeks etc.)

i just don't know what to do. People (even girls) describe me as sexy and beautiful, but as soon as I like someone I feel that I am not worth it, not beautiful enough etc.

There is a guy at the moment and I have developed a crush on him. At the beginning, I wasn't head over heels, but interested. He continued pursuing me (not too much) and I enjoyed that. I also started to like him etc.

The thing is, when I meet someone I like I am not my normal self. Not as confident, not as talkative, i don't know what to say etc...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry I'm not a psychologist


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly I'm exactly the same and it's ruined so many relationships. I think that when you haven't fallen for someone, there's nothing at stake, so it doesn't really matter if they don't text back for hours. However, when you begin to develop feelings for someone, then you question everything because you have something to lose, them. I think that maybe you could be afraid of rejection, which everyone is sometimes, but you definitely should try and overcome that so that you can enjoy being with someone you actually like I suppose.


What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 4

  • For one, when you fall for someone, you make yourself vulnerable by becoming emotionally invested in them, possibly with time sharing parts of yourself both physical and/or emotional with them that you wouldn't share with anyone else.

    You don't act like yourself, a lot more nervous, less confident, almost uneasy, because your body senses that you're scared of getting possibly rejected and turned down. As a result, you're runnign on adrenaline when around them. Think of fight or flight, what you learned back in grade 12 bio.

  • Maybe your scared of being rejected by him? That or getting in a relationship and it ending bad some how.

    • well i am never even close to a relationship because i scare them away or they start thinking i am crazy

      I guess I am going for the wrong guys and I need someone who is very very attentive

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    • Then maybe it will help you find the guys who actually like you and would stay around even with that knowledge

    • to be honest, I dont think they exist... :/

  • First of all- it doesn't matter if millions of people tell you you're attractive, as long as you don't believe so yourself. Before you get involved in any relationship, you should first try working on your relationship with yourself. You're probably right when you're aaying you have a low self esteem. Work on building it up (there are tons of articles about this just google), try getting to know yourself, to feel comfortable in your own skin before you start something with any guy (if possible). You have to be confident in the inside, not just on the outside. Your insecure in relationships because of this. It all comes back to the way you see yourself. You have to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else ❤️

    You go girl 💪

  • You should start by going into the mirror everyday, take a look at yourself and say I am beautiful.

    Secondly, it sounds like your're vulnerable and that your scared to be rejected. But when ur interested in someone and it doesn't work out just always remember and say to yourself, Am worth it. My prince is out there somewhere.

    You gotta go through some obstacles before you get to the finish line.

    • i am 26 alread, i have never met anyone who was really interested in me to pursue me...

      normally i am confident, but it's just the case with guys i am into...
      for example the current guy hasn't texted for a few days and I am freaking out

    • Well to be honest, if you really like him and he feels the same way about you sometimes you gotta be the one who texts first to show that your as much as interested as he is. He might be "freaking out" like you are now.