Being in love / really liking someone?

So I've been dating this guy for the last four months. We met online through mutual friends and when we met in person I knew what he looked like and all. It was not instant spark or chemistry or whatever (on my part) but I liked talking to him online so I gave it a shot. The first thing I noticed was his accent, how he is a bit shorter than me and how he is not my usual type of guy tall dark and handsome. As we were talking and he began telling me about his job and being really passionate about it I caught myself completely hypnotized by this side of him. We went on a lot of dates after that, I kissed him on the second date and discovered he was shy to make the move and was glad I did it.
The things have gone a bit rough after that because I went on holiday, he went on holiday, I told him I missed him and it freaked him out. He began saying that he thought I gave him more than what he could give me, all that kind of stuff. Obviously he doesn't realize that all I need from him is what he is already giving me (just lacking a bit of kind and loving words but I can deal with that). He is so sweet and kind in person, I really like talking to him and being around him, even if we don't kiss or hold hands or do any romantic gestures at all. Now I am obviously insecure because of his reaction but I know how he is in person, and he's not really that cold distant person he suddenly became lately.
So the thing is: I don't really know if what I feel for him is love or really just like him. Because I care about him, just today he told me his godfather died and all day I've been concerned about how he is dealing with it, because they were really close.

I really don't want to close myself up to him now after what he told me, I want to acknowledge my feelings and deal with them first.

How do you guys know to tell the difference between liking someone and being in love? But please tell me about being in love for real, not the obsessive and not eating all day thinking about your loved one kind of love.


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What Guys Said 1

  • "The first thing I noticed was his accent, how he is a bit shorter than me and how he is not my usual type of guy tall dark and handsome. "

    ^i see... hope u don't mind about height though...

    when u say accent? where's his from if u don't mind sharin of course?

    "As we were talking and he began telling me about his job and being really passionate about it I caught myself completely hypnotized by this side of him. We went on a lot of dates after that, I kissed him on the second date and discovered he was shy to make the move and was glad I did it."

    ^ah very good then... seems like he's a guy who really loves his job... and maybe u liked da fact he was into dis job as well... :)

    "I told him I missed him and it freaked him out."

    ^i guess he didn't xpect it... perhaps he's never been in a relationship in da past...

    "Now I am obviously insecure because of his reaction but I know how he is in person, and he's not really that cold distant person he suddenly became lately."

    ^actually he's da insecure one here since he's behavin dis way... as i said above... he believes there's no gal dat might care about him honestly... ;)

    "So the thing is: I don't really know if what I feel for him is love or really just like him. Because I care about him, just today he told me his godfather died and all day I've been concerned about how he is dealing with it, because they were really close. "

    ^definetely love... since not only u care about him... but u can FEEL him as well...

    "How do you guys know to tell the difference between liking someone and being in love? But please tell me about being in love for real, not the obsessive and not eating all day thinking about your loved one kind of love."

    ^being in love = love da other person as much as u love and care about yerself... ;)

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    • thks :)

      but its all going really in a really bad direction now I think... Since I told him that I liked him, he then told me he thinks he won't be able to give me as much as I give him... we've just been texting because we live in different cities, and before he never went a day without saying anything, for months... now he just sends me a text every 2 or 3 days but just about random stuff.. Today he posted on facebook that he is going to this really cool concert next year and he knows I love the band as well but he didn't tell me anything even though he texted me today :(

      I'm just preparing for the end at this point I think...

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    • He doesn't say anything since Sunday, this Friday I will be in his city because I'm going out with some friends for dinner and drinks for a birthday, but I will arrive early in the day. Should I tell him something like, should we meet for coffee? My instinct tells me not to do it and wait for him to show interest because I feel like I am putting pressure on him after he said he feels he is not able to give me as much as I give him ( which I understood as: emotionally unavailable)...

    • if u initiated most of da times and he said no... better wait for him first i believe... :)

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