Am I wrong to be upset that he refuses to pay for my half of dinner?

We've been on about a dozen dates. And won't pay my half ever. He's paid more than me on occasions, but I always pay at least 35% of the bill, mostly exactly 50%.

I'm very poor. He'll want to meet up, so we end up eating. He still lives at home and doesn't really have many expenses.

It bothers me because he makes more than me, and doesn't have the financial responsibility.

Normally me paying my half or footing the bill is my way of kind of saying, "yah I'm not that interested so I don't feel right getting anything for free."

I could normally respect him not wanting to feel like he's, "wasting money," while we're still getting to know each other, but me just paying my half is putting a lot financially on the line while he risks nothing.

I know my financial woes aren't his problem, but it would be a real bonus if he paid because he wanted to take me out and knew how hard it was.

I just need an outside opinion.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The only time someone should pay for the whole meal is in the first date, and the one who asked is the one who should pay. After that, if there are more dates, it's clear that you both wanna meet again, therefore he shouldn't have to pay for more than his part.
    I understand you are poor, but why do you go out to eat? Can't you just say no when he asks if you wanna eat out? There are so many free places you can go that this is no excuse.

    We want equality when it benefits us, but when when it doesn't, we cry and put the other one down. I'm pretty sure if the roles are reversed you wouldn't even have accepted his invitation because he has no money, ergo, he's not ambitious and not a man you wanna be with. I've heard this story so many times in real life and in GAG that everybody knows it.

    I'm sorry, but you're 25, you're an adult and responsible of your life, if you can't afford something, say no, he has no obligation to pay for you.

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    • I have suggested going to a park or something, he wants to eat, he says, "oh I am starving I want to go here!" I remind him how poor I am that I can't afford it, he says find sometHing cheap.

      With tip it still ends up being a lot.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If he asked YOU out, then you are completely justified. I don't think it makes any sense for him to ask you out and then ask for you to pay half. That's not a date, fucker. Not to me.

    If I ask someone out, I'm paying. I asked you to spend time with me, you acquiesced, so I'm thanking you for that time.

    He sounds like a frigging loser. Please dump him and find someone who will know that when he ASKS someone out, HE is supposed to pay UNLESS if the woman makes it known that she'll pay or she'll pay half.

    If he didn't ask you out, then I would simply assume that you would pay half. I'm guessing that's not what happened though.

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    • Just got to the bottom of your post. HE asked YOU out. He's a loser. Leave him.

    • I agree, I wouldn't consider it a date if I had to pay - that just sounds like two people eating together.

What Guys Said 6

  • Does he know your financial situation?
    Also, who's idea is it to go out and eat?

    I'm fairly old fashioned but Im understanding of the modern ways.
    Personally I think you're in the right to get mad if it's usually his idea to eat out and he also knows of your financial situation.
    This is why if I ever ask someone out to eat and it's a little pricier then I'll pay.

    Even with best friends I'll pay or my other friend pays for the whole meal cause we know other friends have it harder financially.

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    • It's his idea. I suggest something like walking in the park. He wants food, I say I can't afford it, he says find something cheap he needed to eat.

    • I believe he should pay then..

  • if the guy picks up the girl to take her out to dinner, unless it was discussed, he's planning on paying for both.

    if two people meet up at a spot, then expect one to suggest splitting.

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  • If he asked you out then he should pay.

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  • Look at all the gold diggers.

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    • continue jerking yourself off

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    • @GirlsLie No I'm saying these women just want a guy to be their checkbook and are upset that a guy has enough self respect to not be that. I actually do and like to pay for ladies. But just as all men are not gentlemen not all women are ladies. Most of these posters are far from being a lady as you can see from the vulgar reply I got instead of actually trying to debate my statement.

    • I'm kinda disappointed in the answers from women. I normally pay my half, but with him living addy home and it's like he makes me go to eat after I suggest other things it just grates me differently.

  • You clearly have an old-fashioned approach to dating; this guy doesn't, so it won't work. Let him go.

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    • I normally date the way he does, but this grates me differently since he lives at home and he always wants to eat even if I say I can't afford it.

  • I do appreciate if a girl pays her share, however if he brings you to an expensive place he should consider your financial situation.
    I do like to have a partner who at least at some point in her life can support their own living. It's not about money or being cheap it's more about principles - about being on the same level. I do not want to buy a girl; and I do not want a girl to like me because she gets free food.

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    • That's normally how I date, I'm just frustrated knowing we see each other once a week, he knows how poor I am.

      Amd the other day he was bragging about making like 700 a week (I make about 100-150) and how he has no bills so he's saving a whole lot.

      I told him briefly how I was feeling, he said that him paying his half to eat out with me was his investing. When I don't want to eat because I'm poor he tells me he's starving and really wants to eat at this place.

    • Well then this guy is pretty inconsiderate. I would not like to date guys who brag around with how much they make... and 700 is not that much either.
      If he knows you are poor and still takes you to expensive restaurants... This shows he does not really care about you. He wants to have the nice dinner experience; in your case if I want to go to this dinner with you I would pay... But I would prefer to go on cheaper dates.
      At your place I would not date him anymore

What Girls Said 9

  • I don't see why he should have to ever pay for you honestly, even if he makes more money, he's not entitled to pay for you. Next time tell him you don't want to eat out or want to eat somewhere cheaper because you don't have as much money as he does. Personally if I made a lot more money than a guy I was out with, I wouldn't mind paying for us to go to nice places but I would be annoyed if that was expected of me.

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    • Great opinion!
      I wish there were more girls like you. Maybe most younger girls are still immature little princess.

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    • Yes.. the only helpful thing for her is to talk to the guy... People here don't know them

      I hate this discussion of guys being cheap. I would not expect to be invited by a girl either... But if I know my financial situation is a lot better I would not take her to an expensive place and split the bill.

    • Yup, exactly. I've had guys on here say "would you be offended if we went through a drive through for a date". And it's like yeah because if you just tell me you don't have a lot of money at the moment i'll just pay for us to go some where decent lol

  • I say don't go to dinner next time.
    If someone doesn't have money to go out to eat, then they don't go out to eat. Simple as that.
    Next time when he suggests that, you say you don't have enough money to splurge it on expensive restaurant food. So you already ate.
    If he didn't he can buy himself a hot dog at some stand because you don't plan on going somewhere where you can't afford.

    Simple as that.

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  • Yeah, he sounds cheap as hell.

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  • There are guys who have no problems paying for a woman's date. Look into finding other options and date them. Find what works in your best interest because he sure is

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  • you mention you been on a few dates , and makes enough money pays nothing probably just a bit for rent if not nothing , spents more on himself ; when a person is interested they show it he isn't don't allow him to waste your money and time false hope

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  • Yeah he's a selfish prick who doesn't know the first thing about how to treat a lady. Fuck him, find someone better

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  • Only if he asked you out and on first dates. Is he aware of your situation? I would assume he would want to take yo somewhere else that is enjoyable and less costly.

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  • so tell him you have $ issues. you two could cook something together instead.

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  • If you are 'not that into him' I suggest you dont get upset. why should he pay for you? What are you giving him in return? Maybe set him free and move on to a guy you do like and then will be ok to let him pay for you :)

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    • I do like him. Normally I end up paying if I don't

    • well in that case explain to him you cannot afford to eat out all the time and you would rather eat in?

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