Do Asian men fear rejection? Or are they rejecting me?

I have dated 2 Chinese boys and after a date or two I had the same outcome. They stopped talking to me. One of them is actually running if I try to talk to him. Both of them really seemed extremely interested at the beginning, but very soon they would run away from me. My question is - they just don't like me or do they get scared of some kind of rejection? I don't feel like I rejected them, just said no to some invitations, while being clearly interested in them. So I didn't think that one NO would cause them to run, but as I can see now, it's possible that it did. Is this a cultural thing? I'm a very pretty girl and I'm also smart and confident, but both of them were also really handsome. None of them spoke English though and I understand this is a very important aspect for them somehow. Can anyone explain what's going on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • They are usually not experienced with girls since very few girls are attracted to them so if any girl says no to any of their invitations, they assume they are being rejected and being seen as "creepy" is the last thing they or any other guy wants. Especially Asian guys.

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    • I find it hard to believe that few girls are attracted to them. They both are really handsome. One of them was also very rich, so I thought he should actually be very confident. But he was not, he was shaking the first time we met. And I did accept to go out to dinners with them and told them I liked them too and so on. So I didn't really show rejection... Just said "no" one time, when after spending a lot of time together, they were asking to do some more stuff together. And I explained- I feel tired, I need to wake up in the morning, so let's do this next time. But there was NO next time :))

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    • Ahhh.. Cultural differences already difficult.
      I liked them both very much.
      I felt quite lucky when after the first one running (and I mean running, as crazy as it sounds) from me, I was so lucky to meet a new guy that was so nice and was supposed to make me forget the tragic rejection I got from the first one :))
      But no, I got it again :))

    • Poor you. Hopefully, third time's going to be the charm.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Are these boys from china?

    I think they maybe trying to get into your pants 😊 but realised that your not easy.

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    • Yes! They are from China!
      So this is a common thing Chinese boys do? Trying to get into a girls pants and that's it? I did think about this too, what got me confused was that both of them were so shy and actually shaking! So that made me think they like me SO much!

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    • I made the same interpretation yes.
      And I thought that is so sweet of them to be shocked like that and tried to make them feel comfortable.
      One of them actually signed up for English classes and he asked me to wait for him to learn English so we can communicate. And also he pointed out it's gonna take a while, like making sure I am aware it's gonna be a long wait. And then he stopped talking to me.. :)

    • Nice to hear your giving them a chance despite them not able to speak English.

What Guys Said 5

  • The Chinese culture is extremely subtle. You could have done (or failed to do) some random thing and that was the lynch pin. Since they don't speak English, I assume you are a Chinese speaker?

    The main hangups I know of is the use of titles and gift-giving. A Chinese boy probably doesn't care about how brilliant you are as much as he cares about how sweet you are. They're typically breadwinners even if their girlfriends and wives work, so a strong career showing is unlikely to impress them.

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    • No, I don't speak Chinese either. We used translators to communicate, combined with my little Chinese and their little English knowledge. But we made it work pretty well :)) It weren't awkward dates at all, I was quite surprised we can actually have fun without speaking a common language.
      And I am aware about the man-woman roles in China, I didn't brag at all about my work, but they can see I'm doing pretty well, I guess.

    • Mandarin or Cantonese?

  • What are u? A busty HAWT white chix? How are y'all even be able to go on a HAWT date if they didn't know Engrish '-'

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    • Yeah, I'm a beautiful girl. That's why I don't understand what's happening. Back in my country I was NEVER rejected by a boy. Every boy I ever liked, liked me back and now - a guy literally running from me - it's mind blowing :)

    • Forgot to answer your question - we used translators during our dates :)

    • Lelelel how BOOTYFUL are u really ma HAWT white chix 😉
      Lel a translator. So they stop contacting u after the second HAWT date?

  • I dunno the Asian guys I've met so far where I live are quite awkward

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    • I'm sorry to say it, but I agree with you on that. I'm not shy usually, but they already make me turn shy. The next time I'll like a Chinese boy, I'll start with a fear that he'll run away after 2 dates :))

  • A lot of men fear rejection, not just Asians

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  • Men fear rejection. Those who have experienced it do anyway, so 99.9% of men.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think everyone has a fear of rejection but that's life, unless your one of the fake and rare ones of true love... high school, vampire movies lol
    There should be no cultural bias to this.

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