Why won't he commit?

This guy Im hooking up (at work) with has told me many times "Its NOT like your my girlfriend or I have feeling for you" OR "If you sleep with someone else let me know, use condoms. Im being honest with you so you can be honest with me." "You gotta know what you want"

I never told him I wanted to be with him. We just never had that talk. He knows I like him. Cause at first I was not sure if I wanted to be with him or not but after spending a lot of time with him I do want to be with him but after him saying all that I will MOST likely just tell him I can no longer do this.

He says this but his actions dont match. He parks next to me at work so he can walk me to my car after work, waits to take his lunch with me, gets jealous when guys hit on me, when Im gone too long or not around him at work he goes looking for me. I always catch him looking at me at work. he's called me baby and honey. he's cooked me breakfast and bought me diner. We talk almost everyday. The customers see it, they always think were together. We hangout at his house almost everyday. When its time for me to go tries to get me to stay.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He sounds like a young man too hung up on macho image to be honest with himself about what he really wants. He has some maturing that must happen before he's ready for a real relationship.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think you have to have a VERY serious discussion about all of this. It seems like there is mixed signals going on and it really has to be sorted out if you guys are going to even be in a relationship.

    It could be many things. For me, I had extreme trust issues with both women and men... although I didn't do everything he is doing, that could be a possibility. Maybe he doesn't know what he wants. I wouldn't say its immature but rather that he is indecisive (this is bad). It's REALLY hard to trust someone who is continually going back and forth... if he continues to do all of that, you might be better off dating someone else.

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  • Of course his being nice and jealous he wants sex. Just not a relationship. He literally told you "have sex with other people just tell me and ware a condom"

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What Girls Said 2

  • Time to stand up for yourself and you can do that in a kind way. How about honesty? Don't say "we need to talk" Just start the conversation "I really like you and your actions tell me you like me too. At the same time, I know my own worth and keeping things so casual is not working for me." Then, and here is the hard part... stop talking, just don't say anything else.. let silence hang in the air to see what his response is. If he is not willing to be your boyfriend then he is not for you and someone else is.

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  • he's just a player.

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