Guys, I'm curious... if you've dated multiple women casually and you let the one who caught feelings for you go to keep doing your thing with the others... do you ever regret it or feel bad for the girl or do you just forget her easily and/or replace her?
- I do feel bad/regret it at timesVote A
- Not at all! She can easily be replacedVote B
Most Helpful Guy
Your entire premise is wrong - which is that the guy in question is somehow "responsible" or "owes" the girl anything.
In such a situation, if you (a girl) decide to date a guy who is openly dating other women, and makes it clear that he's only looking for a casual relationship, then you are effectively agreeing (if not explicitly agreeing) that you are okay with a casual relationship. By definition, a casual relationship means that you have NO EXPECTATIONS that this relationship will "develop into something more serious in the future."
When this hypothetical girl then develops feelings at some point, that is NOT the guys' fault or responsibility - the guy isn't the one who broke the agreement, the GIRL is, because the girl is now expecting the guy to want a more serious relationship, when he clearly, from the very beginning, only wanted casual.
Yes, the girl who developed feelings is going to get hurt when the guy doesn't feel the same way, and doesn't drop his other girl (s) for her, but that is HER fault - if she isn't capable of having a casual relationship without developing feelings (thus, breaking the rules) and then further changing her expectations of him, then she has no business getting into a casual relationship in the first place. The fact that she made a poor choice is HER fault and HER responsibility, exclusively.
The hypothetical guy was not the only guy in the world - the world is full of single men who would be happy to be monogamous and happy to be in a relationship. This girl CHOSE to be with a guy who was already dating multiple women, and only wanted a casual relationship. SHE is responsible for her choices, and for the consequences of those choices. She has no right to expect the guy, or the other girls, to take any responsibility for her feelings or actions, or change their own behaviors on her behalf.
Essentially, if you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.9